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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was rude!!

129 replies

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 13:47

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, I live close to another family member. Said family member had their sister over today, she visits often enough. Sometimes she pops over to say hi, I don’t mind this at all. I love a visitor. So she calls over and I’m offering her a cup of tea. She turns and says “Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!!” Just laughed and said “well you know me I love being organised etc” she said “no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

AIBU to think this was rude!! I mean think it all you want but there’s no need to say it like that!!

OP posts:
Quickchangeartist · 01/02/2026 19:25

No. Clumsy, but not rude.

Original poster
Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 18:54

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2026 17:08

It sounds a little more than “clean and tidy”, though. Is it minimalist and sterile?

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No it’s not majorly minimalist. I have plants on the windowsills etc. and no not sterile…

OP posts:
winnieanddaisy · 01/02/2026 18:15

I’ve known my Sis in law for over 50 years and lived next door for several years and I’ve never seen a thing out of place in her house . She is a neat freak , but I would never say anything to her . It works both ways , I’m very messy but she would never criticise it to me . Swings and roundabouts.

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 01/02/2026 17:53

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 14:22

Please do explain how a house can be more than clean and tidy…

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Bare, unlived in, clear of any personal items etc.

Imaginary86 · 01/02/2026 17:51

Nope not rude

BunnyLake · 01/02/2026 17:39

I have a friend whose house is very messy. Always has been, always will be. I wouldn’t dream of going over there and saying God look at the state of this. Don’t you ever put anything away. It’s so weird”.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/02/2026 17:36

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2026 17:08

It sounds a little more than “clean and tidy”, though. Is it minimalist and sterile?

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Probably not.

I expect the guest's house is extremely messy and dirty, though.

BunnyLake · 01/02/2026 17:36

Moveoverdarlin · 01/02/2026 17:02

Not remotely rude.

Depends how low your bar is for manners I suppose. Her delivery of this ‘compliment’ sounds more like disdain.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/02/2026 17:33

I'd have said "Oh, is your house a bombsite, then?"

I like it when people say my house is clean and tidy. That's what I aim for.

BunnyLake · 01/02/2026 17:32

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 16:54

  1. What makes you think im worrying about this?
  2. What make you think i have no other worries?
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I hate posts like that. As if no one is allowed to voice anything because people have ‘real’ worries etc. I have real worries but that doesn’t mean I can’t also worry or complain about something minor. Such a smug and superior stance.

Newthreadnewme11 · 01/02/2026 17:26

Of course it’s rude to say anything about someone’s house is ‘weird’

5128gap · 01/02/2026 17:23

KittyHigham · 01/02/2026 17:15

I have the knack of understanding what someone is saying.

I can choose not to have a hissy fit whilst still recognising when someone is not being kind or complimentary. Pretending someone is paying you a compliment when they are in fact being (however mildly) snide, is not a healthy way of functioning.

Edited
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Thanks for the correct spelling of knack. I thought it looked wrong when I typed it!😊

AlbieJiggered · 01/02/2026 17:18

She was being sarcastic and meant that your house is a shit tip.

I'm basing this on people saying my house is a shit tip.

Oopsylazy · 01/02/2026 17:17

pinkyredrose · 01/02/2026 13:49

It's not weird, you need a thicker skin if stuff like this bothers you.

Wrong.

To call someone weird bc their house is clean is extremely rude. And weird.

Anywherebuthere · 01/02/2026 17:15

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 14:22

Please do explain how a house can be more than clean and tidy…

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I've seen homes which are clean, tidy and very minimal but feels like the personality of the person doesn't reflect in their home.

When it's the other way around the chaotic disorganised personality of some people I know DOES reflect in the cluttered homes.

It's not a good or bad thing, just an observation.

KittyHigham · 01/02/2026 17:15

5128gap · 01/02/2026 17:06

Its a nack I have of extracting the positives. I find it makes my life a lot more pleasant than if I was constantly seeing insults. I'm a great believer that people can deliberately or inadvertently try to give offence, but its up to me whether I take it or not.

Show quote history

I have the knack of understanding what someone is saying.

I can choose not to have a hissy fit whilst still recognising when someone is not being kind or complimentary. Pretending someone is paying you a compliment when they are in fact being (however mildly) snide, is not a healthy way of functioning.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 01/02/2026 17:09

I’d be so happy if someone said this to me 😂

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2026 17:08

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 13:56

Yeah I think it’s the word weird that got me tbh…it’s not weird to keep your house clean and tidy…

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It sounds a little more than “clean and tidy”, though. Is it minimalist and sterile?

AgnesMcDoo · 01/02/2026 17:08

She’s complimenting you

EatYourDamnPie · 01/02/2026 17:07

5128gap · 01/02/2026 17:06

Its a nack I have of extracting the positives. I find it makes my life a lot more pleasant than if I was constantly seeing insults. I'm a great believer that people can deliberately or inadvertently try to give offence, but its up to me whether I take it or not.

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There’s no need to gaslight yourself or others though. A simple “I don’t actually care what you think” is enough to shrug it off.

Anywherebuthere · 01/02/2026 17:06

Sounds like a compliment to me.

5128gap · 01/02/2026 17:06

KittyHigham · 01/02/2026 16:58

How do you get "your home is lovely, clean and well kept" from what she actually said which was:

"Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!! no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

Show quote history

Its a nack I have of extracting the positives. I find it makes my life a lot more pleasant than if I was constantly seeing insults. I'm a great believer that people can deliberately or inadvertently try to give offence, but its up to me whether I take it or not.

EatYourDamnPie · 01/02/2026 17:05

Definitely rude. One of those things that are better off staying in your brain , rather than coming out of your mouth.

Buttercup1976 · 01/02/2026 17:04

Depends on where you stand on a sensitivity level. Some people can just brush these things off, others don’t feel a bit hurt. We all react differently to situation’s. She sounds like the sort of person who will just speak her mind and it sounds like she might be more on the untidy side so is perhaps a bit envious? I would take it as a compliment as others have said. In the future make sure you have a come back like “well that’s a bit of a weird comment, thanks!” Big grin on your face. If she asks why, say “I feel a bit judged but I’ll take it as a compliment from you!” Then just laugh so it’s not awkward but you got your point across.

Moveoverdarlin · 01/02/2026 17:02

Not remotely rude.