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Asking for an apology AIBU

111 replies

MyLimeRaven · 01/02/2026 13:38

Back in October I nearly died, I stopped breathing and my partner had to do CPR until the ambulance appeared. In the hospital it was discovered I had a very high dose of tramadol, diazepam and PCP!!

No idea where the PCP came from and I had only taken the prescribed dose of the painkillers and diazepam. I was asked if I had taken the tablets intending to kill myself which I hadn't. The doctor wasn't too concerned and said aslong as my oxygen levels stayed up without being on oxygen I could go home the next day. I woke up the next day feeling like absolute crude and had to go back on oxygen as I was sitting at around 85% without it and they discovered I had pneumonia because I had been eating pizza when it all happened and they thinking it must have gone into my lungs.

At lunchtime my partner and I were talking when my social worker walked in. He looked at my partner like he was something he had trod in and snapped he needed to speak to me alone. We went to the day room where another social worker was sitting and he said that someone had made a complaint that my partner tried to kill me and has been controlling me for the last 9 years. I laughed as I thought he was joking but quickly realised he wasn't. He told me that I couldn't go home or that my partner would have to go somewhere else. I told him that that wasn't happening as I wasn't at risk from him in anyway shape or form. He then said that basically I was a silly little girl that was going to end up dead because of this man. Now this social worker has been in my house and has seen how my partner and I are together. My the time this conversation was over my partner had left as he knew from the look that something had been said against him. The police then went to see my partner and ask him what had happened. He gave his account of the day, then they came to see me and obviously our accounts were the same, so the police said their would be no further action as it was an anomaly and it was clear to them that I wasn't in any danger as my partner wasn't controlling or trying to kill me. I got home after the weekend and I was on antibiotics. We got another visit from the police as they wanted me to sign paperwork that they had told me the danger I was in even though 2 days previous the police said I wasn't in danger and he was clear of fault. The social worker then called again to find out why I had gone home with him and reiterating that he was going to kill me and I really needed to go somewhere safe. I asked him not to contact me again as I was sick listening to him say things about my partner that were not true. He contacted me again and I made a complaint to his line manager. Now I have no complaint with him coming to check that I wasn't in danger but the way he looked at my partner then told me not to tell him what he had said to me and to be miscalling him even after the police had done their investigation and we had proved that there were no missing tablets and then to keep contacting me when I have asked him not to. Would I be unreasonable to ask for an apology from him for myself and my partner. My partner has only just started not having a panic attack if people chap the door or he has a car door closing outside the house.

OP posts:
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Oakcupboard · 02/02/2026 11:45

You probably don’t realise it yet OP, but something doesn’t sound right here. I’d very cautious. I appreciate it’s easier to see looking in rather than out.

Also very telling that he left when the social worker appeared.

Please be very, very careful ❤️

Ihad2Strokes · 02/02/2026 11:34

Createausername1970 · 01/02/2026 15:08

On his pack there is a label that says what tablets are in there and what they look like. So although the tablets can vary from week to week, they should match the description on the label. It was because there was, for example, a blue oval tablet in the daily pouches, but not one listed on the contents label.

Oh that's really good. Something to keep in mind if it gets anymore difficult! Thank you

Mo819 · 01/02/2026 20:13

Bloodycrossstitch · 01/02/2026 19:50

Yes, that’s what I mean. I’m actually not sure if it’s down to the gp or the local chemist but you always have to pick your blister pack weekly here

It usually has to be agreed by the gp before being implemented by the chemist.

Bloodycrossstitch · 01/02/2026 19:50

Mo819 · 01/02/2026 18:09

Yes but op said in a tray by which I assume she means like a blister pack simmerlar to a weekly pill box with days and times.

Yes, that’s what I mean. I’m actually not sure if it’s down to the gp or the local chemist but you always have to pick your blister pack weekly here

WinterBlues26 · 01/02/2026 18:42

You overdosed.

Either you forgot you had already taken your tablets and double dosed
OR
Your partner poisoned you.

dreichluver · 01/02/2026 18:14

You administer your pills from a dispenser you get from the chemist. Despite this you overdosed on Tramadol, Diazepam and 'suspected' PCP and went into cardiac arrest.

Why are you so disinterested in finding out how this happened?

Mo819 · 01/02/2026 18:09

Bloodycrossstitch · 01/02/2026 15:17

Not necessarily. Our GP always does them weekly regardless

Yes but op said in a tray by which I assume she means like a blister pack simmerlar to a weekly pill box with days and times.

lifewillopenup · 01/02/2026 16:06

This thread is terrifying.

I have no idea what has gone on, but know the threshold for social workers' action is quite high.

More men will be drugging female partners systematically than we would ever suspect - they count on not getting caught.

trynnahide · 01/02/2026 16:05

Barrenfieldoffucks · 01/02/2026 14:04

Why do you only get your drugs weekly in a tray? There is so much going on here

It'll be due to previous OD attempts - I suspect that's always why SS are involved......

Op your obviously in a very vulnerable position - please seek further support

liamharha · 01/02/2026 15:25

MyLimeRaven · 01/02/2026 13:44

They have genuinely no idea. I only get my medication weekly and it comes in a tray made by the chemist. There were no tablets missing and there were no extras in the house that I could have taken without telling anyone.

But your partner was im the house potentially with the drug and could off administered it you .
Op you seriously need to atleast consider the possibility of why the police and SW are saying

user1471538275 · 01/02/2026 15:23

I think the people who are trying to help you have a clearer idea of what is going on that the select parts you are choosing to give us.

It is clear you have severe issues. I think you need to focus on dealing with those rather than complaining about those helping you.

Blushingm · 01/02/2026 15:21

Bloodycrossstitch · 01/02/2026 15:17

Not necessarily. Our GP always does them weekly regardless

Most of my patients have them in weekly trays but they’re dispensed monthly , so 4/5 trays at a time - unless there are concerns

It’s so much more work and cost for surgeries and pharmacies (and patients) to have to request weekly scripts, dispense weekly and then collect/deliver weekly

SedatedSloth · 01/02/2026 15:21

@MyLimeRaven Police don't just act on something like this based on a random tip off. Someone here is clearly VERY concerned about you, and to top it off, you ended up in hospital with an overdose that you have no idea how it happened.

Put the pieces of the jigsaw together. Something is VERY wrong here.

At the very least, use Clare's Law:
https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request/ri/request-information/cl/triage/v2/request-information-under-clares-law/#:~:text=Clare's%20Law%20allows%20the%20police,risk%20and%20prevent%20further%20crimes.

If it turns up nothing, then so be it. But you need to be a little less naïve and a little more vigilant.

Bloodycrossstitch · 01/02/2026 15:17

ADayAwayFromYourHeart · 01/02/2026 14:39

Yes. But as PPs have said, to only be supplied with a weekly supply, rather than monthly, shows that something else is going on here.

Not necessarily. Our GP always does them weekly regardless

Tryagain26 · 01/02/2026 15:17

I don't understand how the social worker did anything wrong. They were concerning for your welfare and if you had dangerous drugs inside you that you say you didn't take and the only other person in the house was your partner or seems a reasonable assumption that they came from him. .I'm not saying they did but they came from somewhere

Lobleylimlam · 01/02/2026 15:15

I find it odd your partner left the hospital based on a look and 'knew' something was said against him? No matter how bad a look someone gave me I would not leave my unwell partner alone in the hospital, i'd want to support them however I could. I also as an innocent person wouldn't make that kind of assumption.
For this incident to happen and a complaint from another person to happen, means someone likely has witnessed abusive/controlling behaviour from your partner and you're in the stage where you think your relationship is normal to not see what they're saying.

Agree with pp, what do your friends and family think of your partner really? It feels like you're probably blind to what's going on, or doing gymnastics to defend your partner, which is familiar as I would regularly defend him to 'win' him over and boost his ego and have him think favourably of me by defending him, because the alternative of dealing with his abusive behaviour for being called out for being abusive was not worth it.

over50andfab · 01/02/2026 15:13

Who made the complaint about your partner?

Mo819 · 01/02/2026 15:12

I believe you are being extreamly nieve here OP . My main reason for thing this is that you seem more concerned with blaming people doing there jobs and trying to protect you than the fact you nearly died due to an OD . I have a few questions 1 why do you have a social worker is it due to dv or do you have a physical / mental disability .
Why are your meds in a blister pack these are usually only given to people who have issue with memory.
3 do you or your partner experiment with drugs

marshmallowfluffster · 01/02/2026 15:11

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 01/02/2026 14:22

You should do a Clares law....

Put it this way.

If this happened to me

  1. My social worker wouldnt turn up because I dont have one / have need for one.
  2. I wouldnt be okay / happy regularly taking heavily addictive painkillers. And diazepam?!?!
  3. If a professional came to me expressing concern for my safety i'd take it seriously
  4. If I was then asked to sign paperwork confirming the police had told me the danger I' d be taking it VERY seriously.
  5. I would think there was foul play and be looking to understand how exactly this happened vs I ended up in hospital after taking my regular medication correctly because of random dumb luck <shrug> I wpuld assume my medication was tampered with
  6. I'd be living separately from my "d"p while I worked it out
  7. I'd do a clares law request ASAP. Because to not do so would be willfully ignorant of me.
Edited

All of that. Except I do have to take regular addictive painkillers, whether I’m happy about it or not, I can’t control what medical conditions I got lumbered with
I’ve also had diazepam before while waiting for spinal surgery

gamerchick · 01/02/2026 15:11

Survivingnotthriving24 · 01/02/2026 14:17

One of three things have happened:

  1. You've accidentally overdosed on your own meds, had a false positive pcp result as a result of the tramadol but this is highly unlikely as you've said you have no tablets missing.
  1. You've purchased tramadol and diazepam from a drug dealer and are lying to save yourself getting in bother with social services (why do you have social services involvement?).
  1. The police and social services are correct, and your partner has illegally bought the drugs and administered them without your knowledge.

I think you need to have a real honest chat with yourself about which of the above is most likely OP, if there are children involved in this mess be honest with social services and safeguard your children from further harm/trauma at either the hands of yourself or this man.

Wts.

Sorry OP someone isn't being truthful here

letmebetheone · 01/02/2026 15:08

You are clearly vulnerable. The social worker has been to your home several times, why?

The thing that would most concern me if I were in your place would be your partners behaviour at the hospital.

You nearly died, there are concerns for your safety, you have been told not to go home with him.

Now if that were my partner he would be trying his hardest to find out what the problem was, speaking to the social workers and trying to understand why he was suspected of something so serious. He definitely would have been there to support me as best he could.

Your partner did a runner. What does that tell you?

Createausername1970 · 01/02/2026 15:08

Ihad2Strokes · 01/02/2026 14:52

Since my stroke I'm on a handful of tablets & hate the weekly task of putting them in the weekly/daily organiser as I struggle getting them out of the packaging.(even with a pill popper thing & a small knife).

However, I don't trust a service to do it for me & as the pills vary in size/shape & colour frequently it's impossible to know if they're the right pills or not - so your relative was lucky, but you can't rely on them looking the same.

i get a months supply at a time and there is never a month where the tablets are the same as the previous month, at least 2 will be different.

On his pack there is a label that says what tablets are in there and what they look like. So although the tablets can vary from week to week, they should match the description on the label. It was because there was, for example, a blue oval tablet in the daily pouches, but not one listed on the contents label.

Foundress · 01/02/2026 15:08

I don’t think the OP will be back to answer the very pertinent questions put to her. However hopefully she is reflecting on the sensible advice from PP’s. I also agree with you @EquinoxQueen regarding people going into social work. To deal with complaints like this! They deserve a medal the size of a bin lid.

Handrearedmagpie · 01/02/2026 15:05

Why are social work involved? That would normally only be if you are vulnerable or have children? Why would your partner be worried enough to leave you in hospital if he hasn't done anything? What do your friends and family think of your partner? Do you have a life outside of him?

DaisyChain505 · 01/02/2026 15:05

Someone was concerned enough by witnessing your partners behaviour at one time or another to lodge a complaint that he may have tried to harm you.

It’s hard to look at our relationship for what it really is and we can sometimes be in denial.

Can you honestly say hand on heart that he treats you well and isn’t abusive in any way?

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