Page 4 | To worry this will end up with social services involved

LemaxObsessive · 01/02/2026 12:17

You need to get away from this man and yes, I’ve read the update. I grew up with an impatient yet loving, father and I can assure you that people who don’t manage impatience well, also don’t handle their anger or inhibitions well and it always ends up escalating over time into aggression then into violence. Always.

Beeoo · 01/02/2026 12:16

Partner says im being ridiculous and that he was just stressed and worried about DS and anyone would be snappy in A&E

Most people are actually really understanding that the system is broken and that patients need to be prioritised by clinical need. Most people aren’t snappy to doctors/nurses/receptionists etc. You are right to cringe at his behaviour.

Cherry8809 · 01/02/2026 12:15

Nobody cares if it’s the mother or father present at the hospital. One is not more important than the other.

sesquipedalian · 01/02/2026 12:15

OP, I doubt SS will be involved for a one-off accident. I took my DD to A and E when she had cut her head falling out of her pushchair when she was little, and they actually asked me if I had been before (I hadn’t). When I queried this, they said they had to keep an eye and if a DC had repeated accidents, it would flag up a concern. Your DC has had one accident, and your DH got cross because he was worried. I wouldn’t give it another thought. I hope your DC is feeling better today.

5gymbabe · 01/02/2026 12:11

HavocReap · 01/02/2026 10:21

sorry if this is all over the place its my first post and im really nervous posting on here so please be kind. i didnt sleep much and my head is a mess so apologies in advance.

My DS is 19 months. Yesterday afternoon he bumped his head while with my partner. I wasnt home at the time which is half why I feel so awful about it. From what I was told he tripped and hit it on the corner of the coffee table. There was blood. Not loads like pouring but enough that it was running down his face and soaking a tissue. Partner rang me at 3.42pm and said it wouldnt stop bleeding and DS was screaming so he was taking him to A&E.

They got there about 4ish I think. I met them there later once I could get someone to cover me. By the time I arrived the bleeding had stopped and DS was calmer just very tired and clingy. He had a small cut and a bump but no stitches needed. They cleaned it and said to watch him overnight and sent us home.

This is where my anxiety is coming from and I know how this sounds and maybe im overthinking but my partner apparently had words with the receptionist because he felt they were making him wait too long. He also told the triage nurse he wasnt waiting all night and that it was ridiculous. I didnt see most of this myself but I did see him being quite abrupt when I got there and I could tell staff were frosty. I keep replaying it all and thinking it must look awful. Young child head injury. Mum not there. Dad angry and defensive. I feel sick thinking about it.

I know accidents happen and kids bump their heads all the time and the doctor literally said that. But im now panicking that they will think something else. Or that his behaviour flagged something. Or that because DS is under 2 it automatically gets logged. I cant stop thinking social services are going to get involved and im terrified. I know how dramatic that sounds but im genuinely scared.

Partner says im being ridiculous and that he was just stressed and worried about DS and anyone would be snappy in A&E. I do get that. I also dont want to throw him under the bus because he does love DS and hes normally great. But at the same time I wasnt there and I hate that and I feel like im the one who will get blamed if anything comes of it. I feel guilty for not being there and guilty for even posting this.

Sorry this is long and rambly. I know MN can be blunt so im bracing myself. I just need to know if im being unreasonable worrying this much or if anyone else would be panicking too. Please be honest but gentle if possible.

Both times mine injured heads at school it was health visitor and GP and that rang

Sux2buthen · 01/02/2026 12:10

Coka · 01/02/2026 10:31

He just sounds like a worried dad to me. If there is a SS referal it will be because a young child was injured, not because mum wasnt there and dad was rude to the reception staff. If there is a referal it would just be to confirm what happened and that it was an accident.

Yes, panic, worry and guilt (even if unfounded) can make people react unusually.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 01/02/2026 12:09

His attitude is the thing that might raise a red flag, not the fact that your toddler fell and hurt his head. However, what really matters is that DS is fine, no serious damage done. If SS do contact you, you've got nothing to hide, so there's nothing to worry about.

DP needs to chill out. Being constantly impatient and shouty will give him a stroke or something.

GiddyDog · 01/02/2026 12:08

Ilovepastafortea · 01/02/2026 11:12

DS2 went through a period of being accident-prone & it seemed like we were in A&E every month for about 6 months. A chicken pox spot went septic, tripped & cut his head on a table, broke his leg while playing in the playground at school, fell & cut his lip while playing in the garden, dislocated a finger playing football (he was in goal). All while being supervised. Accidents happen.

We had similar... fractured elbow, cut eye requiring repair under GA because it had gone through the eyelid muscle, inpatient admission with sepsis from an infected graze (that one was scary) and spiral tibia fracture which meant 8 weeks in a hip to toe cast all within a year. No SS involvement just a run of really fucking bad luck for DS.

StrawberryJamAndRaspberryPie · 01/02/2026 12:05

They’re not calling social services Op. Chill out.

aintnospringchicken · 01/02/2026 12:00

By the time my DS was 4 yrs old we’d taken him to A/E 4 times due to accidents in the home or playing outside.Injuries included a suspected broken nose( tripped and hit face on coffee table),fingers trapped in a door ( courtesy of his sibling),broken wrist( tripped over own feet)and huge lump on forehead and 2 black eyes( tripped while running). I used to half jokingly say that I would be getting a call from SS but we never did.
Accidents happen .

soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 11:58

Im remembering numerous threads where mums (mostly) are sat in A+E getting fobbed off, waiting waiting waiting, cue posts telling OP to ask for this, ask for that, ADVOCATE FOR YOUR CHILD OP, etc etc

Thats obviously not the same as being shitty but that depends on the personality and how people generally express themselves, men are generally seen as aggressive when they're stressed or being assertive. Perhaps he was genuinely aggressive and thats not ok and not good role modelling either but he wait times in A+E are an absolute disgrace, perhaps we shoujld all be getting more angry about that.

If you've ever been to A+E in Italy, anger and aggression aint even the word!!

Evaka · 01/02/2026 11:54

OP, glad to hear your baby is ok. Please move on with your day and don't worry.

I recently was in a&e with my partner who was dangerously ill with acute appendicitis and recieved the most abysmal care I could have imagined. Believe me I was pushy and vocal in my requests for him to be seen with more urgency. Your partner was probably acting from the same sort of worry and frustration unless there's a back story that he's a psycho, which your update suggests not.

MummyMIH · 01/02/2026 11:51

I’m not sure if things have changed as my children are now 9 & 11 but when I took them to A&E with head bumps & a fracture (separate incidents) it didn’t result in involvement from social services.
I’m going against the grain here but I don’t even think it’s that bad if your partner was a bit snappy.
It’s stressful having a little one injured / ill in A&E.
I snapped at a doctor when my youngest was seriously ill, but he actually apologised to me as I think he realised his ‘bedside manner’ wasn’t very good & he’d been quite dismissive.
I’m not a confrontational person and work in safeguarding myself so I don’t agree with unnecessary aggression against medical professionals or any professionals, but I think they are used to dealing with people being stressed & not at ‘their best’.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 01/02/2026 11:51

Social services are overwhelmed and under resourced, OP. They’re not looking to investigate the circumstances of every single child who turns up with a minor injury and a stressed parent, so please try to stop worrying.

And even if they do get involved, all they are doing is safeguarding your baby, not looking to punish or penalise you or take him away. When he was 3, my DS had a string of falls and injuries within a 6 month period that required multiple hospital visits (undiagnosed ADHD - at the time I was run ragged and felt like I needed 8 arms, lightning reflexes and eyes in the back of my head just to keep hold of him).

We were asked to go in for a ‘developmental assessment’ or something along those lines. Basically a lady with a clipboard chatted with me for half an hour, watched DS playing and me interacting with him, then said “that’s all lovely, thanks very much”. It wasn’t scary or worrying, and it’s brilliant to know there’s a safety net for vulnerable children.

Mo819 · 01/02/2026 11:50

As precious posters have said health visitors are informed as a matter of corse .I was a nurse and although no body likes being shouted at we understand that parents worried about kids dont behave like there best self's and that kids have accidents .my own son had plenty. Please stop worrying.

Mt563 · 01/02/2026 11:40

Stop stressing that it looks bad that you weren't there. The child was with their dad, that's fine, no one actually expects a child to be when mum 24/7 or considers it neglect or a red flag if they're not.

Brefugee · 01/02/2026 11:38

JerryTubs · 01/02/2026 11:10

Men are wank at childcare in my experience. I do the school run 10 x a week and have done for 18 months and the worst thing that has happened is one of them stood in dog poo. My OH did the school run once (so I could work) last week and one of our children slipped and hurt his back. WTF? They are beyond useless. I think you’ll get a call very shortly if they refer to SS, my instinct is they won’t if it’s an isolated incident and your child is at an age where this type of injury is likely to occur (walking with sharp objects at head height) I really wouldn’t worry (easier said than done) because you’ve nothing to hide so it would likely be a few questions and then case closed. As your children get older you do begins to realise that the old ‘better to be safe than sorry’ doesn’t always apply. For example in future if you can stop bleeding and the child is alert and well and isn’t sick or falling asleep then you might want to
wait a little bit before deciding whether to go to A&E. The wait times are horrendous and stressful for everyone and aren’t always needed (as in this case) I’m not criticising him in any way for taking him. I was at A&E a lot with my eldest and did get a SS call because there were a lot of banged heads, I was probably a bit over cautious in hindsight and with my younger ones I do a bit of observation before deciding what action to take.

your first sentence is such utter bollocks that i cba to reply to the rest.

Wind your neck in.

Burningbud1981 · 01/02/2026 11:34

JerryTubs · 01/02/2026 11:10

Men are wank at childcare in my experience. I do the school run 10 x a week and have done for 18 months and the worst thing that has happened is one of them stood in dog poo. My OH did the school run once (so I could work) last week and one of our children slipped and hurt his back. WTF? They are beyond useless. I think you’ll get a call very shortly if they refer to SS, my instinct is they won’t if it’s an isolated incident and your child is at an age where this type of injury is likely to occur (walking with sharp objects at head height) I really wouldn’t worry (easier said than done) because you’ve nothing to hide so it would likely be a few questions and then case closed. As your children get older you do begins to realise that the old ‘better to be safe than sorry’ doesn’t always apply. For example in future if you can stop bleeding and the child is alert and well and isn’t sick or falling asleep then you might want to
wait a little bit before deciding whether to go to A&E. The wait times are horrendous and stressful for everyone and aren’t always needed (as in this case) I’m not criticising him in any way for taking him. I was at A&E a lot with my eldest and did get a SS call because there were a lot of banged heads, I was probably a bit over cautious in hindsight and with my younger ones I do a bit of observation before deciding what action to take.

Wow massive generalisation.

Sprogonthetyne · 01/02/2026 11:34

Kid falling over and hitting his head - absolutely normal

Going to A&E - right choice, responsible parenting

You been at work - totally normal, won't be a problem

Partner being rude to staff - not ideal or helpful

Partner being 'snappy when stressed' to the extent you argue over it - definitely not great, and more of a concern then anything that happened related to the bumped head.

Overall, SS won't care at all about the incident. They might be notified and call you to check, but it's unlikely to go further.

You're partner needs to work on their anger, and if they refuse to do so, you need to consider if the relationship is a good environment to be raising your DS. It's only a matter of time before he's the one causing 'stress' and getting snapped at.

Brefugee · 01/02/2026 11:32

Don't beat yourself up about it. If everything is ok, and SS get involved they will see that. If you have suspicions, time to really pay attention.

Get ahead of it happening again by childproofing your home. Yes, they are ugly, but those corner buffer things are brilliant, etc etc.

LoveSandbanks · 01/02/2026 11:31

I have 3 boys. I have a friend who is a social worker. It’s well known that mums of boys spend time in a&e.

For future visits, and there will be more, tell your partner that patients are seen in order of priority, waiting is a good thing. Trust me it does not feel good to go to a&e with your child and be called even before your seat has had a chance to get warm!

Your partner didn’t show his best side but it doesn’t sound like anything that would flag interest. You’ll both know next time to take food, drink and something to entertain a toddler.

For today, you all need to take it easy and relax.

Waterbaby41 · 01/02/2026 11:29

Try not to worry too much. Head wounds always bleed a lot, they lol much scarier than they are usually are. DH was stressed and badgering for answers for his child - not the best reaction but not at all unusual. Yo can't be with you kids 24/7 - and even if you were these things happen. Take a breath, relax and give little one a cuddle.

crinklechips · 01/02/2026 11:29

Iloveeverycat · 01/02/2026 10:37

I thought when under 5s present at A & E they just informed a health visitor to ring a few day later to check everything is okay.

I’ve been to A&E with a toddler over a couple of accidents that could, on the face of it, have raised an alarm and never received a HV call or anything similar.

soupyspoon · 01/02/2026 11:28

maudelovesharold · 01/02/2026 11:16

This type of childhood accident won’t trigger SS involvement. Children this age are always falling over, unfortunately! Maybe a call to check that all is well. But…I’ve just re-read your op, and I may be wrong, but it sounds like you may have your own doubts that it was an accident. Do you? Has your child ever sustained injuries before, when your partner has been in sole charge? Not suggesting at all that this is the case - as pp have said, most parents end up in A&E at some point, often for worse accidents than your ds’s - but it’s just that you sound in your post like you’re wondering if you should have left your ds with your partner.

Where did you get from the OP that she worries its not an accident?

MotherofPufflings · 01/02/2026 11:28

I think it's very unlikely that social services will see this as anything other than an accident.

But I am so, so sick of people like your partner treating hospital staff like this. Its not OK. Yes, he was worried about his child but so is every parent in A&E. He needs to act like a mature, sensible adult and learn to control his emotions.