To worry this will end up with social services involved

People are reading way too much into this. Some of the behaviour I’ve seen in A&E towards staff is outrageous. He definitely won’t be the first person to get a little bit pissy and snappy. And it’s a non event that you weren’t there. What do you think single parents do? Or when one parent travels with work? You’re building this up into something it isn’t

Sorry, but it’s not ‘understandable’. The man is an adult and any adult should be able to realize that being rude and angry towards staff who are trying to do their jobs, just isn’t on. It’s perfectly possible to speak to people politely and get the same point across. Aggression is becoming a huge issue for NHS staff and it’s disgraceful for anyone to feel that it’s ok to behave that way, even in very difficult situations.

I have taken my child to A&E before due to head injuries. Details of the incidents were recorded, but I was never contacted by a HV or anyone else for that matter. Accidents happen even when you watching your child. You are overthinking it.

I’m glad he’s not violent to either of you.

He needs to work on his anger, it’s unacceptable to talk to anyone like that, let alone healthcare workers who are underpaid and overworked and are only trying to help your son.

Id like to know what his reaction would be if someone spoke to him in the same way. And how he thinks his son is going to be impacted when he hears his dad talk like that when he’s older. Will your husband talk to him like crap too?

No one can say if SS will get in contact. Probably not although an injury and a defensive dad is likely going to raise eyebrows. If they do get in contact, sadly there are so many crap parents and children at significant risk, that your child won’t be a priority and it will likely get shut down unless they find more concerns.

I work on a paeds assessment unit

if thw staff had worries you wouldn’t have been able to take your little one away from hospital. And social services would have been called and a report put in then.

we do have a duty to tell parents we are referring to social services before we do it, if they didn’t mention social services. Then don’t worry, but because he’s under five the health visitor will be informed.

I had a very arsey grumpy dad shout at me yesterday. After his 2 year old had bumped his head. Didn’t occur to me to refer at all!

If this is your first concern about DP in the 19 months since your child was born, then I would say don't be overly worried.

As kids get bigger and more mobile, then more bumps occur.

I don't think SS will get involved at this point, it's a relatively minor injury. If there was a pattern of injury when you weren't around, that might raise questions.

Your DPs attitude to NHS staff is not great. If you are lucky, you won't need to visit again, but I had a clumsy, accident prone child with an intermittent health issue that would flare out of the blue, and I pitched up at A&E quite a few times over the years. To the point that I had a bag in the corner of the bedroom containing a phone charger, a book for me, something to keep DS occupied and change for the vending machine and taxi fare home.

The staff are very busy, and do their best, your DP shouldn't have spoken the way he did. Everyone else waiting in the waiting area was equally worried about their child too. It's an explanation as to his behaviour, but it is not an excuse for it.

Please remember the staff see these things all the time & could probably see that dad was worried sick.

Btw, you can’t be there all of the time. This could have happened under your watch. Don’t beat yourself up.

I work in a busy hospital. We don’t tolerate abuse but we also understand that as a parent with an injured child and having to wait in an overwhelming environment in a state of panic can cause people to behave differently to how they usually would. It doesn’t excuse rudeness but his behaviour, the fact that it’s dad and not mum plus the injury wouldn’t ring alarm bells for me from the information provided. *Unless this is a regular occurrence, your family were already known to services or you’ve downplayed something in your op.

If anything your health visitor will give you a call- that’s what happens when my daughter attends a&e or the children’s ward.

As for having words, that entirely depends on how he had these words. Did he show signs of aggression, raise his voice or start making a huge scene? A&E is stressful for everyone and sometimes you can become a bit impatient however you can express that without aggression.

For example, 111 sent my daughter to a&e. She had a temp of 40.9, rigors and was delirious, we were triaged within half an hour and by 4am we hadn’t seen a dr. We’d been there long enough that she’d had 2 doses of calpol and a dose of ibuprofen that I’d brought. I said to receptionist that if it was going to be much longer I’d take her home and see GP in the morning as it would then be open. We were assured it wouldn’t be much longer. I went up to speak to them a few more times and by 7:30 am I said I was taking her home where she could properly lay down and be seen by GP within a few hours. She said she’d have to speak with triage nurse on whether that was allowed, I told her I would be taking her home regardless.

Went home, got her seen by GP who then referred to inpatient ward at hospital and it was much quicker. Health visitor called and I spoke her through what happened and she could clearly see that my daughter had been seen by GP and was admitted to the ward. All was good, not once was I rude to them, I was just firm.

Your child is under 2. Your health visitor will be asked to check in, just to make sure all are ok.

When my son was young my husband was sitting right next to where Adam was walking and Adam fell and split his lip open. Children fall no matter what. Try not to worry

You have mentioned twice that 'you weren't there' and how that looks. There is absolutely no reason ss would be concerned that a child was with a safe adult who is not mum. He is the dad and therfore equally responsible. Unless there is some underlying reason you don't trust dh you need to give yourself some slack. Dad's are equal parents, you are not some how a bad mum because your son was left with his dad!

I shouldn't worry too much about being referred to social services though it can feel scary. Often hospital staff do it when children have accidents and it's good that they do. My DS fell behind a sofa and slightly burned his leg on a hot radiator when he was about 18 months. That day I had pulled the sofa away from the radiator to clean behind and didn't push it back all the way and this coincided with the first time he climbed up the sofa when I turned my back. I took him to hospital straight away and the staff told me they may decide to refer this to social services which they did, they rang me up and decided there was no issue. My point is that it's just one of those things, kids have accidents but they need to ensure your child is safe.
It obviously didn't help that your partner was rude with the staff and he needs to know that this is really shitty and unacceptable behaviour.

This - we had 2 follow up calls with HV when child had a head injury. They said it automatically gets referred to them. If you’re honest and transparent then there’s nothing to worry about! Hope he’s okay x

Your partner behaved in a rude and entitled way to expert medical staff. He was a dick, but you DC had an accident. Not enough for social services I’d say.

Hi,.my daughter bumped her head on our coffee table when she was about 10 months old (coffee table was covered by cushions but she dived over them and hit her head) Her head wouldn't stop bleeding and had to take her to hospital. She was given stitches felt awful but never received any social worker or visit because of it.

Mu 3 yr iod went to nursery with a bump on his head and told his teacher when asked a man outside did it 🙈 ss where called came out everything was fine he'd actually banged it on the bunk bed .
The next day he fell of the couch and number the other side 😩 went to a and e explained and everything was fine as wasn't called again ,,I doubt they will be called in about this op ,, and it's only ever routine anyway if they are .
Hospital are the worst place to be especially with a distressed child ,,,I've seen one mum in tears in a waiting room as little on played up ,,I'm sure they are impatient parents all the time ,,we are human beings and frustration is a normal emotion .

Whilst your DH's behaviour in A&E wasn't great, I guarantee he isn't the first or last snappy frustrated parent to be there and I also guarantee his behaviour wasn't anywhere near the worst they've had to deal with. I wouldn't worry about it but would say for him to deal with his frustration better in the future.

Take a very deep breath, you have spiralled a lot here. We’ve been to A&E a fair few times for accidents with our DC and never had SS or a HV check in.

everything will be fine. DH needs to be way more patient and polite though, even when he’s stressed and worried.

I moved the tv and DD’s finger got trapped under it for a second, there was blood but no permanent damage, she had just turned two and I felt terrible. It didn’t require A&E, thank god but I did question my parenting for a long time after. Fast forward and now DD’s 18 and has no memory of it but me saying no to her having a Nintendo DS when she was 5, 6 and 7, apparently still stings. If SS or a health visitor does contact you remember that’s a good thing, there are systems in place that follows up when accidents happens. It doesn’t mean you or your partner are bad parents. Try to relax.

Accidents happen in a blink of an eye, it’s not unusual for a small child to run into the corner of a table etc even when closely watched.
People react to stress in different ways, I remember sitting for hours with a 14 month old who was poorly after being triaged. I’m sure I wasn’t at my best by the time we were seen, I was tired, overwhelmed and worried, I like to think I’m pretty patient and polite but I was definitely running on empty.
If you’ve nothing to hide then I wouldn’t worry, I took my now 13 year old to the Dr’s as a toddler because he had climbed and fallen off the window sill and had the start of a black eye where he had landed on a duplo block.
The Dr said it was amazing how quickly they could get into mischief and the fact that I was there panicking showed he was well looked after.
I learnt not to keep his little chair in the same room unsupervised after that, but we’ve all been there!
If your DH is snappy when stressed then that is something that he needs to recognise and try and improve, because it does come across badly to the people that are trying their best to help.

This. He's an idiot.

It’s obvious you are over-worrying @HavocReap. I’d say it is quite likely/possible you will get a call from the health visitor. I’ve had one myself following an A&E visit. It was fine, they asked a few questions, gave a bit of cursory advice and that was the end of that. This happens literally all the time to toddlers.

Only you know whether there are bigger issues with your husband.

Don't worry! Social services don't have the resources to bother about a single visit to A and E for a bumped head. Yes, your DH shouldn't have been arsey with the staff, it's not their fault there are delays but the staff won't make a referral due to an arsey dad. The fact he took the child to A and E counts in his favour as it shows he didn't have anything to hide. It's the kids with new and old bruises and scars with no medical history that really raise alarms.

It's fine. There are special corner things you can put on table corners precisely because toddler will make a habit of crashing into them.

Stop fretting!