My promised lie-in today...but DH "feeling very unwell"

Also, as a pp said if the toddler always wakes at 5am, then yes 7am is a lie in 😂I am normally up 7am so today when I got to rest until I decided I had enough and looked at my phone (bc my kids are now old enough to do their own thing or lie in), I saw it was 8:15am. I genuinely felt I had a great lie in

What job do you do?

I meant my husband would step up during the weekend if it were a high fever or tummy bug!!!! Not a cold 😂A cold anyone in our family is perfectly capable to function. I would not expect anything different because of a cold. Dc also go on as normal during colds doing sport, school etc.

I think they mean getting up at 7am for example is a lie in of your toddler is up at 5am every morning plus no getting woken up in the middle of the night. Definitely better sleep than being at home with a toddler.

Plenty actually.

What kind of work trip have you been on where you are up and on duty at 5am every day?

Not at 15 months though, that's still a baby practically.

But you said yourself if it's a weekend when you are ill your husband would step up, how is that different from op stepping up this weekend when her husband is ill?

What kind of work trip have you been on where you lie in every day?

I don't understand how your husband can't let you have a lie in with a cold? He could still get up with the toddler and play something that does not take much energy like lego, read books, colouring and a movie perhaps. I have 3 dc and any time I am sick the world does not stop. I had to take care of them through being sick with covid, tummy bug etc. If it has happened during the weekend my husband steps up of course....but during the work week I am the one who is the stay at home parent so I have to carry on sick or not, rain or shine. I would say a cold it is surely possible to carry on as normal.

The only time I would think not is fever or tummy bug...then I would let your dh rest and esp would want to avoid the toddler catching it. But a cold? That is not really an excuse.

What time does your dh need to leave for work on a normal day, when he isn't away? That would also affect my view of this. Eg if he doesn't need to leave until 8, I think he should be doing the occasional weekday get up with toddler in a normal week too, to give you a bit more time, especially while you are pregnant.

Whereas if he goes to work so early he also has to be up at 5 anyway, or he works nights, then he's not getting lie ins either and there's not much you can do about it.

On this particular occasion I think it's fair enough for him to sleep as he's ill and about to go away with little sleep, but you are no unreasonable to be disappointed.

It also depends whether he'd give up his lie in day if you had a cold though....

We had a similar set up with husband working long weeks away.

We paid a student teacher to take the children to the zoo on Sunday from 9am-2pm. I slept and had a bath.
I was worth every £.

https://www.madeformums.com/reviews/spearmark-international-bunny-clock-childrens-alarm-clock-review/

Get one of these and start training your toddler.

I think most people here have read the OP's first post and replied in fury.
Her dh is going on a work trip for 3 weeks...with the army. God knows what that involves, but hotel rooms and mini fridges aren't included i presume. So really we should cut the dh some slack, whilst acknowledging how brutal lack of sleep and any downtime is for the mum.

They both have my sympathies here.

Of course.
I was responding to the poster that said she had worked and been a SAHM and working was easier (implying that was the case for everyone)
Like I said before, I do feel sorry for OP. I just don't like the instantaneous leap these threads take automatically assuming the man/working party is a feckless, work shy individual running off to work for a break whilst the beleaguered SAHP is grafting 24/7.
In most relationships both parties are grafting equally has hard (in different ways).

Depends on the work trip.

Were you in the army @CountFucula?

Wow. That's quite aggressive. Would you rather we have hundreds of sleep deprived people defending our country? Sleep deprivation makes for clouded decision making. Not really what we need from our soldiers. I would understand your reaction if OPs dh was a shelf stacker.

he can’t get up with a toddler as he has a cold?? How on earth does he manage being in the army.

You arent being unreasonable all.
Your DH is a selfish pig!
On what planet does a man with a bloody cold insist his pregnant wife has to get up at 5am!!!
Jesus wept , some shitty husbands here

Keep thinking?
I think you are confusing me with someone else ?

Been on plenty of work trips, nice hotel, meals provided, not up at 5am !

By lie, ut means sleeping later than 5am! Lets not pretend that ' normal' business trips involve 5am wake ups every day!

Surely also depends on your toddler and how easy (or not) your pregnancy is too?

If his cold had materialised on his work trip OP, would his superior have said ‘oh dear you poor sausage, back to bed for you’? Or would have to have soldiered on (pun intended)?

Your in the first trimester though (as am I) and it’s brutal. You have my full sympathy and you need the rest

I was a single mum so no other help. My kids would get up at the crack of dawn too so i would go down to the sofa in my dressing gown, put CBeebies on, close front room door so they stayed put, and I’d doze while they watched tv. It’s hard and maybe seems harder when you have another adult there if they can’t (or won’t) help. His being in the army does change matters though, realistically it must be way harder than most jobs, including parenting. I know I could never do it, physically or mentally.