Am I being controlling?

You totally don't get a say in what he chooses to wear. If he asks your opinion fine but the fact his sister got involved means it clearly has bothered him which is quite sad. Surely just suck it up? you met someone nice and attractive. If this was a man telling a woman what to wear in this way 😱

I dress boho/rock chic my husband is 9 years older and wears chinos and farmer clothing, I love him for who he is

Let it go.

Although I would suggest looking at the men's range at Joe Briwns which might be a happy medium.

Slightly older is a few years not 16. 16 years comes under a lot older.

Anyway, yes you are controlling. Presumably he dressed like that when you met him. And you married him knowing how he dressed, which for him is a specific style he likes and is part of his identity.

I don't have a say in what DH wears. He is scruffy and has never had an interest in clothes. He only buys new clothes when his are all frayed and really scruffy. He wears smart clothes when the occasion requires it - weddings and funerals. He is retired and hardly goes out so he doesn't need to look smart these days.

I'm picturing him more as Jeffrey Dean Morgan and having much the same reaction: yum

If my DH tried to "positively tell me what might look nice" to go out with him and it was different to what I had already chosen I'd tell him where to go. Poor bloke.

Yes you are being controlling. And he is a LOT older than you.

I have no say in what my husband wears, likewise he has no say in what I wear. We do however both ask for advice sometimes when buying new clothes.

I like the sound of how your dh dresses. Much better than slipping into middle aged dressing. My dh had no dress style good or bad when l met him. He asked me to help. I do help him choose clothes now but he wants that. I pick up bits and pieces in Sales when l know they suit. And we go shopping twice a year to get seasonal stuff. He finds it a relief always to have the right clothes but if he didn't want that l couldn't do it. He definitely is not the type to be bossed around. Its important to accept your dh as he is as its a long road being married to someone you don't accept. Leave him off!

Am wondering, why did the poor deluded sap marry you?

'Women marry men because they think they will change. They never do. Men marry women because they think they won't change. They always do.' If you want tropes ...

Ha yes... Imagine it's Steps and Spice Girls 🤣

Repeatedly. In fact we really fell out last time (3 weeks ago) because it was accompanied by the sentence „look nice for your husband…and you“. WTAF.

I reached tipping point. Lost my very shit at him.

I’ll be honest OP I would hate your DH’s style but then I don’t think I’d have dated him in the first place let alone married him then try to turn him into someone he’s not.

Maybe if you wanted a smart casual dresser, that’s who you should have married.

To me someone who dresses that way will have done so for decades and it's almost part of their identity. As you say, he's a rocker. He's not going to start dressing like a chartered accountant or David flipping Beckham. He probably absolutely hates Beckham. His materialism, his deeply un rock n roll image.

I don't see how you can suddenly say you despise something which is clearly a way he expressed his character.

My DH (55) is Levi's, plaid shackets and Adidas. A couple of years ago I suggested some items like the ones you posted but from Benetton. I loved that European look.

He is still wearing Levi's, Adidas etc lol. Fortunately I don't actually mind.

Don't think OP would have warmed to my last (late) partner's appearance.

He normally wore hippy-type clothes and his hair and beard were usually quite wild, and he was fat. In fact he looked rather like a fat Catweazle, and I sometimes called him Fatweazle (affectionately).

He usually worked in the back rooms of museums as a conservator, so didn't have to deal directly with the public. But I never interfered with his appearance as he knew when to change into a suit for formal occasions, and make an effort to organise the wayward hair.

You should be glad he has a personal style and encourage it. Stop trying to turn him into a boring clone. Look at how top designers over the years have interpreted the "rocker" look and take consolation/inspiration from that, and if you have to buy him clothes, buy some in that style. As long as he is clean and smells good, not sweaty/grungy, it's a sexy bad boy look that many women find attractive. Obviously he should "dress up" for certain occasions (formal wedding/funeral, job interview, court appearance) but these are few and far between for most people.

Yes, you are being judgy and controlling, you must have seen the responses here when men tell wives/partners to wear more conventional clothes and abandon what they actually like.

What boring clothes.

Anyone remember Beckham in his sarong days?

YABVVU

I can't imagine trying to control what my DH wears. Or vice versa.

Use to be in a band and dresses like a rocker... isn't what he wears a big part of his personality and how he sees himself? Let him be.

Can you imagine the reverse, a woman who likes to wear jeans & dungarees (not my choice) being told that she must wear cocktail dresses and heels because husband would like someone who dresses like Dita von Teese?

I think we'd all agree that it was very controlling, coercive and abusive.

I can't believe no one has asked which bands are on his tshirts 😆 that would be a dealbreaker for me.

Why do women marry men and then try to change them? Presumably you liked the way he looked when you married but now you want him to look like David Beckham who wears clothes for money (or did) as part of his 'brand'.
My late DH wore fringed jackets and cowboy hats when I met him. He wore boots with spurs. For a formal do he would wear a frock coat and cravat and wildly patterned waistcoasts with a fob watch and double Albert. He looked wonderful. He also wore suits as he disliked the habit of dressing down.
Your husband likes fun clothes. Let him be. Why not dress up in more interesting things yourself? Give it a whirl.