Am I being controlling?

I think he sounds great . I wouldn’t be see dead with a David Beckham look a like or, God forbid ,nice knitwear. Perhaps, right now, he’s on dadsnet asking for advice about his younger but woefully unhip wife? 😀

BTW.. as a 'typical old rocker' of 45.

If you want a rocker to dress smartly, might i suggest a black shirt, some black jeans, and a smarter leather jacket, then let them accessorise.

You are NOT going to get them to dress it like Beckham.

most of us would rather set those clothes on fire than be seen dead in them.

I would often gently restyle my partners. They are all the better for it, including husband. You go for it OP!

This is so mean. How would you feel if he told you what you could and couldn't wear or what you looked good in or not? It's very pushy of you to want him to change his style and appearance. Assuming you dated for a while you would have known what his style and preferences were? What was you expecting? Marry and then tell him you don't like the way he dresses and expect him to change? If this was a man saying this about his wife, he would get flamed!

I suspect you are not getting the feedback you thought you would.

I think women that are shallow like you clearly are, are dangerous. I don't care what my partner looks like, as long as he is happy and comfortable and I would love him regardless of his chosen clothing! Why try and force someone to not be their authentic self? Just to make you more comfortable. No thanks.

What a lovely jumper! I’m sure OP will approve

Okay.. I'm going to read between the lines here and assume that you mean that there are times he dresses too casually for a particular restaurant or occasion and you'd like him to smarten up on a night out, rather than just wear the same outfits he wears day to day..??

In which case you can get smart rock style clothing, smarter shirts etc rather than t-shirts.

Overall I don't see why you married him though if you despise his clothes? As surely he's always dressed this way?!

And I thought you'd written that you like the style of David Bowie... So I was then reading replies and wondering why everyone was harping on about David Beckham 🤣

I think a gently conversation about having a variety of outfits, some casual for daytime and some smarter for date nights etc is fine.. But trying to change his whole style is not on and is controlling.

I honestly think you should be careful, I am not saying you are, but in my Doctors surgery they have a poster about coercive control, and one of the questions they ask is, are you allowed to wear what you like. I know you would like him to change his style, but you are fixated and going on about it. Even his sister has told you to leave him alone

Im going to serenade you with the Beatles darling..have you heard of them?

I think you’re just gonna have to suck it up. I’m sure everyone feels this way about at least one of their husband’s outfits - for me it’s the fugly fleece that makes him look like a geography teacher. I’m sure there’s a few of my more “out there” outfits my husband doesn’t love, and that’s okay. Telling him what he can and cannot wear isn’t really okay though.

"Typical old bloke" He's freakin 47!!! 😂

yes you are.

Trying to change someones entire fashion aesthetic because you don't like it IS controlling.

jfc.

I know men in their 50s & 60s who still dress like that and look damn good in it.

if you want to be seen with 'david beckham (vom) leave your H and go find a peaCOCK to dress.

You sound very shallow. Hopefully he’ll realise this and give you the boot sooner rather than later, free you up to find someone who dresses more the way you like.

Now he sounds like a cool guy!! Is he a maiden fan?

I’ve never told my DH what to wear, nor has he told me. Why the focus on what your DH wears? Why does it matter so much?

TBH it doesn’t sound positive. Was this said before or after getting ready. For the sister to comment I am guessing it sounded critical.

He doesn’t sound like a smart causal kind of guy. I guess you knew his style when dating. Did you think you could change him to suit your ideal of what he should be like? Sounds controlling to me.

Your poor husband. He can dress however he likes. If you have an issue with it yoy shouldn’t have married him.

There are certain things of DH’s that I don’t love, but it’s his style and I’m happy he’s confident and happy in his style so I say crack on. I have a bit of an out there style and he respects that and would never try to change me.

My DH has a certain style of jumper he loves, (think Val Doonican). He has loads all different colours. But he is happy in them. I personally am not keen but I still got him one for Christmas when I happened to see one in a colour he didn't have because I knew he would like it and that's what was important

Well, 47 is not old for a start.
As for wives having a say in what their husbands wear, I think you are going back to days when wives were supposed to also wash and iron everything and be smiling and welcoming their DH when he arrived home from work. Certainly looks like it from the outfits you have selected. I think you need to re-read the post on coercive control because telling someone what to wear is just that.

Your DH wears what he feels comfortable in and likes, which is the end of the story. My ex used to try to get me to wear what he wanted me to wear and commented on the way this that or the other looked on me, and he is an ex for a reason.

[edited to add: obviously 47 is a lot older than 31, my comment was quoting the post where OP said he wasn’t a typical old bloke but the quote did not show up).

Wow! Accept him for who he is, or not but rubbish to try and impose a make over post I do…

I think you’re being incredibly controlling and very very unreasonable. I would much rather my husband wore Chelsea boots, a biker jacket, and skinny jeans than either of the two outfits in the photos you’ve posted, but would never ever tell him that.

😆 🤣. I keep thinking of the poor husband with the skinny older man legs with biker leathers on and the band t shirt 😆 🤣 😂. Would be even funnier if it was the scissor sisters 😆 🤣 😂.

This look only works because the men are celebrities to begin with.

If Joe Average dressed like this, you would think his clothing looked silly.

I love the City slicker look but Im sensible enough to realise that my husband wouldnt be comfortable in the formality of that style. Give up now OP and understand that your husband isnt a Barbie or Ken doll. Stick to refining your own look.

I mean, how would it go down if he told you what to wear? If you want a David Beckham type you should have married one.

😆 🤣. I thought the same, but who knows? If the guy in the first picture is the husband then at least he hasn't got the 90s checked shirt and jumper combo.thats a massive relief 😅. Xx