Am I being controlling?

I do agree his style is very old to be fair.
Reminds me of the hairy bikers who are I think were mid 60s. I could be wrong. It’s a look of a mid/late 60s man though.

My ex married the man she was planning to turn me into. To be fair, he was quite a catch. Didn't work out terribly well though.

Surely he dressed like this when you met him.
If he has suddenly gone from looking great to dressing like a slob I can understand that but not if he has always dressed like he does.
I also think there is a huge age gap here.
Things will only get worse.

Would rather see someone dressing with a bit of personality than looking like all the football lads/latest trend in river island wherever. Those style inspiration photos show the most boring bland outfits ever. Let him dress how he feels comfortable. As long as he's not wearing dirty clothes, who cares if he's not looking trendy and smart, that's not his style.

His style is his personality, you can't and shouldn't change that! And a 16 year age gap is significant, not "slightly older ". I worry you'll have issue with that too eventually, as the gap visibly widens quite quickly.

He isn't "slightly" older. He's significantly older, though not as old as my 85 yo father, who wears the sort of stuff you've posted.

You sound awful though. I hope he starts firing into you about your appearance all the time too.

“He’s not slightly older, he’s a different generation.”
Perfectly put 👍

OP, you’d better get used to it now… it ain’t gonna get better.
(my ‘D’H is only 9yrs older! ☺️)

I have sympathy OP. Ive been with my husband for 30 years and he still wears the same style of clothes he did when he was a teenager. Not particularly because he likes that style but because he doesn't know what else to wear and doesn't care enough about how he looks to bother thinking about it. I do gently encourage him to try other things and he now has a few respectable going out outfits. I do think about how this would be if it was reversed and he was telling me what to wear but it does feel different because he doesn't care whereas I take time over my appearance and clothes. He also does like the other clothes, I'm not just fitting him into my ideas.

Why are you pretending that it's normal to marry someone and instantly try to change them? How bizarre.

Women only have a say in what their husband wears if he is fine with that. That has absolutely always been the case. Yours doesn't want your interference, as is his right.

Maybe don't model your marital expectations on 1970s sitcoms.

This.

'Slightly older'. You are kidding yourself. He's old enough to be your father.

I'm more interested as to why you would say he is 'slightly' older

I do understand your view point, but it doesn’t sound like his style changed, he’d always been like this. And that I think makes you unreasonable.

my husband is crap at dressing and I buy a lot of his clothes, but I show him and suggest, and if he doesn’t like it he says no, and yes he dresses like your images when out and likes his appearance.

hes married a much younger woman and suspect he’s trying to look younger or in his head he’s the same age as you.

so I think you’re unreasonable as he wishes to dress like this, you’ve made your suggestions, he’s rejected it, he thinks he looks good, so it’s time to accept it.

You sound awful

We don't have a say in what our husbands wear. I never tell him what to wear just as he never would tell me.

His style sounds cool. He's a rocker...nowt wrong with that.

If his sister is telling you to leave him alone then it must be obvious to outsiders what you’re doing.

It’s fine to buy some clothes for him but it’s up to him what to wear.

This reminds me of the old joke:

Describe how a marriage goes
Aisle
Altar
Hymn

You’re weird! He’s always dressed as he does and it didn’t bother you, now you’re married you want to change him! I’m guessing you married him for the lifestyle he can offer as by the sounds of it he’s probably a doctor at consultant level!

Yes, you are being very controlling.

You should stop putting him down and shut up about it. If appearances are that important to you, you probably shouldn’t have married someone 16 years older.

Controlling and annoying. You don't get a say in what he wears and vice versa. Leave the man alone. If you want something to dress as you wish, get a doll.

Yes you are being controlling. The fact his sister pulled you up means that you are outwardly voicing these feelings either via passive aggressive barbs or speaking out directly. Either is very unpleasant.

Yes it’s controlling.

marrying someone and then trying to change who they are.

Of all the women he could have met, who shared his likes, and cherished him for who he is, he had to meet you.
Poor bloke.
You come over as a nasty unpleasant controlling individual

I hope this isn't real. Poor bloke.

It really isn’t!

I think I know the trope you mean, and I don’t know where it comes from, it sounds a bit 70s sitcom-ish. But it really isn’t typical behaviour and it’s not loving.

You don’t sound as if you have a lot of respect for him to be honest. You say you were being nice and positive but if his sister picked up on it and told you to leave him alone, you were clearly being overbearing. Honestly, don’t do that whole “I’m going to control you for your own good” thing that some people try to frame as being caring, it isn’t fair.