AIBU - kids sleeping over at GP’s

I'd stop the sleepovers because it's way to much to be like that every single week. I wouldn't want my children spending that much time away anyway that's a solid chunk of the weekend without them.

Mine stay with my dad a few times a month and it’s great, but I’ve had to tell him off about bedtime. Surly you can just talk to them? I said to my dad I don’t mind him feeding them treats and the like but they need to be in bed by 10 absolute latest! He doesn’t remember what it’s like to deal with overtired crabby kids.

You’re lucky to get a night off a week (I know I’m very lucky and thankful for my dad) so I’d maybe try and broach this before you give that up!

At risk of sounding like a broken record...

...or maybe OP could simply ask the GPs to have the boys in bed for 10pm and not let them have crisps for breakfast. There's no need to go for the nuclear option when neither parent has even suggested this to the GPs.

In four years Dh and I haven’t had a night off. You are in a privileged position. If you don’t like it, don’t allow the sleepovers.

It's too often to be so full on.

Once a week overnight? That’s not a sleepover, that’s shared custody. Not a snowball’s chance in hell I’d agree to that, even without the fact that they don’t care for the children properly. MIL won’t like it, but I would put a stop to this.

Honestly it would upset me to be without me child for half the weekend every weekend. From school Friday until early afternoon Saturday is such a lot of your potential family time. And it sounds like Saturday afternoon and evening go out the window too. I would definitely be reducing this to once a month max but then to be honest that's the max amount of child free time i'd want, so I don't have your conflict of giving up your time off. It's very selfish of them to do what they're doing - it's all about their enjoyment in the moment and nothing to do with your children's wider wellbeing.

I would ask the grandparents to move the laying in bed up a bit so they're asleep by 10. That's still 10 hours of sleep and should help. I wouldn't worry about the food. Just plan to feed them lunch or a substantial snack when you pick them up.

Fun ‘no rules haha’ is bearable once every 6 months. Every week it becomes part of a neglectful routine: they are not meeting the children’s needs. I would put a stop to this on that basis. Just tell them the kids need a more structured weekend and so no sleepovers for a while.

Tell them you appreciate all their help and support, that the DGC adore them and thrive in their relationship with them, but from now X o’clock bedtime will have to be a priority as otherwise it’s detrimental.
Ignore the food issue. There’s a DGP in our family who only ever serves chicken nuggets, chips and baked beans followed by sweets for dessert. All nine DGC have survived and no DP complains.

There is usually a sacrifice for free childcare epically with fun grandparents, I get it is impacting your next day but I think you would really see a shift in your wellbeing not having your one night and morning off a week. It’s a very kind thing they are doing for you, I can count on one hand the amount of times my kids have stayed at theirs.

I'd leave them with GP for a Sat as well and pick them up Sunday... The GP's will get the gist 😜

Sunday night before school? Not a chill out night for many families, it’s a school night. Saturday night is out as the kids are too tired from Friday night.

This 100%

It will be ‘blunt’ as they don’t really want to. It’s less fun if you have to have rules and say bedtime now and no youre eating a healthy breakfast.

GPS aren't dominating children's lives, they are enriching it.
The chilled out times you refer to can be done on another night, Sunday perhaps.
I think the arrangement sounds brilliant and the kids will benefit hughly from it.

Again, why the need to "be blunt?"

It's perfectly possible to just have a normal, pleasant conversation with them to ask for a bedtime limit and no snacks instead of breakfast.

My grandkids frequently have sleepovers with me, and if my DD wants anything different from the usual, she just communicates with me in her normal friendly way.

There's absolutely nothing in OP 's posts to suggest that they won't listen and comply. It's just never been suggested to them that doing things differently would be beneficial.

How about every 2nd weekend and fine to watch a film or something but 10pm is a cut off for bedtime. Instead of wotsits maybe they could help make pancakes for breakfast? Neither of our GPs would consider staying up late with TV and wotsits for breakfast yet DC love staying. They choose an age appropriate film with snacks and have usual breakfast or pancakes then go for walk or play games if wet.

What if you put a stop to the Friday night sleepovers and it turns out your kids are still grumpy on Saturdays 🫨🤣 I would cut it back to once a fortnight, gives the kids a chance to have a full weekend at home and relieves the duties on the grandparents a bit too.

I disagree, it’s not good for dc to be so unregulated for that long every week. It would be out of the question for us- it would be I get you want to be fun grandma and grandpa but the reason it’s ok to be fun grandma and grandpa is because it’s only occasionally- they can’t do a night a week like this with no bedtime and junk food. We can continue with the sleepovers perhaps as often as once a month and see how it goes, if they start Saturday sports it might be difficult to keep going as they will need a good sleep and healthy dinner and breakfast.

if it’s a night a week it has to be proper care.

No, Saturday 2pm. Do try to keep up.

every Friday?? Weekends are important to kids. Mine love a Friday as I'm more relaxed and we have little treats/watch a family movie. Same with satuday mornings and afternoon. I love that time with them. I can't believe the grandparents dominate the weekend like this. Like do you not feel like you're missing out?