AIBU - kids sleeping over at GP’s

"This nonsense"..? Having a lovely routine of staying with their grandparents a night a week, doing crafts and activities, running around in the garden with the dog, and having real quality time with people they love and who love them dearly?

Start saying no to sleepovers
This nonsense is not worth the few free hours.

I think it is a lovely tradition to stay with their grandparents on Friday night.

I would talk to the children and explain they have to eat what they are offered and go to sleep at somewhat reasonable time or they will have to stay at home. I would gently explain to grandparents how lack of sleep and too much sugar is causing the children to be over tired and takes from the family weekend with you and their father.

I think have a chat with grandparents about bedtime and a proper breakfast & lunch.
I think it's mean hearted to stop them going .
Kids love their grandparents it's a special and important bond.
You get time as a couple which is also important.
Anyone on here saying you should stop are only envious they don't have these options.
I loved my grandparents if I was stopped from staying I'd of not liked my parents they taught me many good things.

They might be grouchy even with the adjustments. I find mine has somewhat ‘masked’ after a sleepover where she’s been a perfect angel and then BAM I get all the feelings in one go! What I would give for a night a week though so I would take it!!

I think you should just have a word with them and ask for an earlier bedtime, I would let the food situation go. Growing up I only had my Nanna. I have such amazing memories of sleeping over every week. My Nanna used to spoil me with loads of sweets and bring me breakfast in bed. She was a very early riser and would go downstairs and not even put the tv on incase it woke me up. My Nanna died nearly 20 years ago, I'd give anything for that time back. I think grandparent relationship are so important.

Mmm, that depends on the pizza. A lot of ready-mades are laden w salt and saturated fats.

It's not like pizza is even that unhealthy. It's bread, tomato and cheese, for goodness sake!

Um no actually. I have a very open relationship with my daughter and she's absolutely fine with this. Of course other meals are available for him at my house. I mentioned pizza as I feel guilty for indulging him in what I consider not very healthy meals but my daughter is fine with it as I said he eats healthy all other times. My daughter may work full time but she also really enjoys cooking and still enjoys takeaways when she's too tired. I think you've read way too much in my post. It's really not a big deal and believe me my DD would let me know if it bothered her.

Also weird of you to think that I don't work either and have all day to make healthy dinners? My family have all been brought up on healthy home cooked food with the occasional takeaway. I don't deliberately feed GS pizza every Friday thinking sod what my daughter thinks. I have him 5 days a week after school and one night a week sleepover. I've saved her thousands in childcare fees but I do so because I have worked myself around his school times to help my DD because I want to, and I have spent 10 years homeschooling my ND youngest daughter and attending her appointments weekly. I'm 52 years old. Not a granny who is sat on her backside all day knitting on my rocking chair. So yeah he gets a pizza on a Friday not because he sees it as his little routine and a treat. My daughter WANTS to cook dinner every evening. And shock horror but he might have a pizza another night in the week!

Have a gentle word with lovely Gps but 'don't throw the baby out with the bath water ' it is only one night and you are really blessed. It will alter as they get older. Grandma speaking here.

Gosh, what harsh comments

Firstly I’d get your husband to speak to his parents. Let them know how much you appreciate what they do. Tell them how difficult it’s becoming for the children. Ask them to set a bed time. It can be later than at home but by an hour or so. They can have some treats but not at the expense of food.

If they won’t agree or don’t do this then I’d stop the sleep overs.

I have my grandchildren after school weekly, overnight regularly and I have rules. Grandparenting is an extension of parenting and I follow the parents rules. Not super strictly but bedtimes and eating proper meals is non negotiable. I might cut sandwiches into dinosaurs or stars and spend hours on messy crafting that perhaps mum and dad don't have time for but indulging children to the point of exhaustion and poor eating on a weekly basis is ridiculous and I'd limit overnights to once a month and if they still can't transition to some rules down to 6 weeks. Having grand children is a privilege not a right and they are abusing the privilege

1. you likely can’t have it both ways
2. 8am is not an early riser.

I’d put it to the boys that if they want to keep going then they need to do 2 things - go to bed by a certain time (sure it can be later than usual) and eat breakfast.
The 8 year old can follow that.

After that tell GPs it’s an agreement you have with the boys to do this.

Ask go to give a proper breakie and less snacks and a decent bedtime - you say no later than ……

or they don’t go and you don’t get your adult time

tbh every fri night is a lot. Maybe they want a break and drop it to every other

I don’t really think it’s moaning I think it’s a poster asking others if their views on something are unreasonable, which I don’t think they are. You can be grateful and still express concern… children need routine lots of research supports this.

I have my grandchildren to stay now and again and I do find it hard to get them to bed! I'm old and get tired, usually get one or both of them in bed with me,readstories and fall asleep myself. I do manage to get them to eat,they are always hungry.
My daughter doesn't seem to mind that they get a bit spoilt at mine. She did t ha e very hands on grandparents. I have to ration the screen time though (hard!)
We always have a great time,I think grandparents should be allowed a bit of slack. Once a week is too much though,for all concerned.

I cannot believe that parents are moaning because gp have the kids every single week overnight and most of the following weekend day! My god I was lucky if I got 4 nights total the whole time my kids were little! Some people don’t realise how bloody lucky they are! You can provide the food you want your kids to eat and you can politely ask gps to make sure they’re in bed by a certain time but moaning because their gps love the kids and the kids have fun, what ever next 🤦🏽‍♀️

Although as i Grandparent i insist on bedtimes with no tv i let them choose breakfast. They would never ask their parents for ice cream, doughnuts or Pringles but know that at the weekend when they are with me they can have whatever they want.
You need to tell your MIL that you insist on them being asleep by 9. Let them eat whatever they like at their Grandparents.

My paternal GM used to babysit for us once a month or so and never made us go to bed, I loved it but was always crabby the next day. I don't see why you can't have a gentle word with your PIL to explain the problem and say that you just find the next day exhausting.

I think if they want to have them that frequently there needs to be some rules. A family member looks after my son 3/4 nights a year so I say nothing about the late night/excess screen time and snacks. But if it was more regular I would be asking for at leaat reasonable bedtime and normal breakfast

I dont think any of us can make assumptions about how the GPs will respond to being asked to modify the routines and breakfast.

They are doing you a favour looking after your children if you aren’t happy look after them yourselves. X