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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn down a job when the interviewer talked solidly at me for 1.5 hours

130 replies

PeacockPalace · 31/01/2026 20:09

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

OP posts:
UnhappyHobbit · 01/02/2026 19:29

I wouldn’t waste your energy replying. The fact he is hounding you for an answer concludes the fact that he would be a self absorbed nightmare! I would have turned it down too.

AuntiePat21 · 01/02/2026 19:26

Please don’t give him feedback. It’s not womens responsibility to teach an adult man life skills. Don’t give him the tricks to dupe the next applicant. Anyone who applies needs to know he talks too much.

ThrowingDi · 01/02/2026 19:18

He sounds narcissistic best thing with men like that is stay on their good side. Even though you’re not working for him, I wouldn’t put it past him to stalk your linked in or make trouble for you with his network

Just reply to his email something like you can’t commit to the commute or hours or something has changed in your personal life ie make him feel it’s nothing to do with him
so he doesn’t go on a smear campaign

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 01/02/2026 19:15

FloofyKat · 31/01/2026 20:28

Dear interviewer
As you failed to let me get a word in edgeaways during a full 90-minutes interview, I fail to see how you could possibly know whether I would be suitable for the advertised role.
On that basis,I won’t be accepting your rather dubious job offer.
Maybe next time give your interview candidate a chance to actually speak? Just a suggestion …

Why do people do this? The OP's already complained she couldn't get a word in and the bloke is now harassing her for the reason she turned it down yet you think she needs you to draft a message for her...

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/02/2026 19:13

Sausagescanfly · 31/01/2026 20:11

Bullet dodged!

I think so.

Gettingbysomehow · 01/02/2026 19:08

Please email him and tell him exactly why. I would.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 01/02/2026 19:03

You could tell him the truth, you've got nothing to lose.

abracadabra1980 · 01/02/2026 18:58

Kamek · 31/01/2026 20:25

Tell him exactly why! You've tried to be diplomatic and polite, it hasn't worked. Sometimes people need bluntly telling

100% agree-everyone can benefit from knowing their 'weaknesses' and especially if you'll never have to cross paths with him again!

ChaliceinWonderland · 01/02/2026 18:56

Small business owners can be a mare if there us no HR -avoid,
Imagine negotiating anything at all, time off, hours etc.
Is he also divorced?

PerspicaciaTick · 01/02/2026 18:48

The first red flag was talking over you in the interview.
The second red flag is pursuing you for an explanation when you declined the job. One follow up email - fair enough. Four suggests he has no concept of boundaries or respect.

I'd be tempted to give him a no-holds barred explanation, but only because he really deserves to know what a pita he has been.

Whatifitallgoesright · 01/02/2026 18:45

Was it a sales company in the south west?

rockingroller · 01/02/2026 18:44

If you've nothing to lose, you could just tell him. 'Because you talked at me for 90 solid minutes and would not let me finish a single question. I can't work for someone who does that.' Might be quite satisfying.

pouletvous · 01/02/2026 18:31

this is common in small companies .

Ask him what it was you said at interview that made you feel you were suited to the role?

pouletvous · 01/02/2026 18:29

give honest feedback

please!

then block

ResultsMayVary · 01/02/2026 18:27

I think you may have met my brother. He:s likely oblivious, will be deeply offended by any honest feedback and respond with a defensive monologue and try to blame it on you.

daleylama · 01/02/2026 18:24

PeacockPalace · 31/01/2026 20:09

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

He's chasing cos he knows there's a problem , and it won't just be you. Tell him. You're not going to work with him anyway, and you'll be doing him a huge favour.

bloomchamp · 01/02/2026 18:09

lol what a plank!. I had a similar interview once. Many years ago. It was 45 mins of incessant talking about them (women in this instance). I could not get a word in so I just stood up, grabbed my things and walked out without saying a word.

Politygal · 01/02/2026 18:01

Imagine the annual job appraisals.

Nancylancy · 01/02/2026 17:44

Why not give him some honest feedback? It's not like you'd ever work with him or need to see him again, so why not? Might make him stop and think, even if he doesn't seem the type to.

CurryTonite · 01/02/2026 13:31

You don’t owe him an explanation and I can’t see any benefits to you of offering him one. And if he monologues for 90 minutes and asks four times for an explanation of why you turned the job down I think we can assume he’s not good at picking up social cues so your explanation probably wouldn’t help him!

Rose213 · 01/02/2026 13:05

This would be my dream interview. I get so nervous! Someone talking at me for 90 minutes and then offering me the job sounds perfect lol

Friendlygingercat · 01/02/2026 12:50

How could you possibly feel listened to or respected in such a role? He wants a robot, not an employee.

thinkingofachange · 01/02/2026 12:25

FloofyKat · 31/01/2026 20:28

Dear interviewer
As you failed to let me get a word in edgeaways during a full 90-minutes interview, I fail to see how you could possibly know whether I would be suitable for the advertised role.
On that basis,I won’t be accepting your rather dubious job offer.
Maybe next time give your interview candidate a chance to actually speak? Just a suggestion …

just copy/paste/add names 👍🏽

GlendaMedeiros · 01/02/2026 12:19

I’ve had an interview like this, when I didn’t get to say a single word. Totally bizarre.

Original poster
PeacockPalace · 01/02/2026 11:46

I don’t think he was coked up, I think he is more like someone who loves the sound of his own voice.

OP posts: