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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn down a job when the interviewer talked solidly at me for 1.5 hours

130 replies

PeacockPalace · 31/01/2026 20:09

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 01/02/2026 21:39

Oh I'd tell him. Not because I think it'd make any difference to the way he behaves in future, just because it'd probably make me feel better.

Don't pull any punches.

'You monologued at me for 90 minutes. I couldn't get a word in, you spoke over me when I tried. You asked questions, then answered them for me, speaking over me again.
I have declined the role and you have persisted in contacting me despite me making it clear I am not interested.

To be crystal clear - I do not wish to work for you because you have a complete inability to listen to anything but the sound of your own voice and I cannot work with someone I cannot communicate with.'

savemetoo · 01/02/2026 21:29

I didn't feel I was listened to in the interview so I couldn't take the position as I don't think I would be heard.

Sounds like a complete narcissist.

WalterMittysPuppet · 01/02/2026 21:07

He sounds like the guy I previously worked for (see username) - he was a decent person, but OMG could he talk. I wondered if you might have been interviewed by him, but there is no way he would chase anyone afterwards if they turned him down! As far as he is concerned, if you are not absolutely blown away by his superior intellect and business skills then you must be an idiot anyway.

What industry, if you are prepared to say?

SP2024 · 01/02/2026 21:05

I mean I’d quite like to get a job without even talking at the interview…😂

CDTC · 01/02/2026 20:58

He sounds like the owner of my company. My colleagues 30 minute appraisal was 3.5 hours long. You dodged a bullet there 😂

SliceofTosst · 01/02/2026 20:56

Tell him the truth.

user1473878824 · 01/02/2026 20:44

MeSeM · 31/01/2026 20:23

I'm sorry you experienced this. In my humble opinion I don't think he meant to be difficult, even though he spoke too much. Sometimes some folks talk too much out of nervousness, & even bosses & managers can suffer from bad nerves & have nervous breakdowns. I feel the fact he's keen to know why you're refusing this role /job, shows he didn't mean to cause upset & he must care regarding where he went wrong, or he wouldn't be asking you, especially more than once.
If it was me, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, at least as far's to bring some enlightenments as to why the job or environment isn't comfortable, because it could prevent him making the same mistakes for others, as well, in the long run. It seems like he's genuinely unaware & needs someone who cares, enough to gently bring some insight.

Show quote history

He’s repeatedly emailed her too. Some people are just dickheads.

MikeRafone · 01/02/2026 20:42

id just reply with

On reflection, I didn't think the interview process was very successful and therefore thought it best to decline the job. Wishing you all the best for the future and hope you are successful in your recruitment.

This will be the last email correspondence I send & therefore appreciate that this is the end of any corespondence.

kind regards

Viviennemary · 01/02/2026 20:41

I would reply to the email just say you have thought it over and decided to stay where you are for the time being. And you don't think the job is for you. No point in telling him a few home truths but somebody probably should.

KeepPumping · 01/02/2026 20:29

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I blame smartphones myself, maybe the OP should buy this bloke a smartphone?

KimuraTan · 01/02/2026 20:28

@PeacockPalace Please do tell him - you’ve got nothing to lose. He sounds insufferable.

KeepPumping · 01/02/2026 20:26

TFImBackIn · 31/01/2026 20:22

Honestly, I think you should tell him why. There's no point you working somewhere where you can't speak and where he doesn't let you finish an answer. He needs to know. He won't like it, but he needs to be told.

Good point, be honest, see if he e-mails back, unlikely IMO as he sounds like an output valve that is just set to "On" all the time, a lot of people are like that, very draining to be around, only if it was remote working or you could otherwise get a break from him should you consider it.

DreamTheMoors · 01/02/2026 20:20

PeacockPalace · 31/01/2026 20:15

I couldn’t even get a word in during the interview to say ‘I don’t think this is going to be the job for me, let’s end things now’ 😂

i agree you did the right thing but you should have told him the truth:
”I could never work for a company whose owner suffers from excessive logorrhea.”
That should end the emails, too, I suspect.

FloofyKat · 01/02/2026 20:19

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 01/02/2026 19:15

Why do people do this? The OP's already complained she couldn't get a word in and the bloke is now harassing her for the reason she turned it down yet you think she needs you to draft a message for her...

Edited
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Think you misunderstood. It’s clearly a joke!

Muffinmam · 01/02/2026 20:19

StMichaelPenkevil · 31/01/2026 20:28

As PP said above, you have dodged a bullet however, I would let him know your reasons for turning the role down.

Why should she?

The man clearly has issues. Why should she contribute to his personal development?

TheDenimPoet · 01/02/2026 20:19

I'd have told him exactly why I turned it down when he'd asked. Say you didn't get a word in during your interview, he just talked at you, so you didn't get the chance to even work out if you were a good fit or not.

To be honest, it might be something he really needs to hear!

Gonners · 01/02/2026 20:17

Ha! I've had interviewers like that - it seems to be a bug (though they'd probably call it a "feature") of the Y chromosome. I've also accepted a job, only to be told about a month later that he'd hired me because I reminded him of his wife when she was young. I went to lunch and didn't return. And I've been turned down for a couple of jobs in small family firms because the wives vetoed me. This was annoying at the time, though with the benefit of hindsight they may have been doing me a favour.

BerryTwister · 01/02/2026 20:16

TFImBackIn · 31/01/2026 20:22

Honestly, I think you should tell him why. There's no point you working somewhere where you can't speak and where he doesn't let you finish an answer. He needs to know. He won't like it, but he needs to be told.

I agree.
He’s messaged you several times, you’ve got nothing to lose, just tell him you felt uncomfortable with how he didn’t let you speak.

He might learn something!

Bluddyellfire · 01/02/2026 20:00

pouletvous · 01/02/2026 18:31

this is common in small companies .

Ask him what it was you said at interview that made you feel you were suited to the role?

Love this! The bloke sounds demented.

FinallyHere · 01/02/2026 19:59

pouletvous · 01/02/2026 18:31

this is common in small companies .

Ask him what it was you said at interview that made you feel you were suited to the role?

Agree the first post nailed it, you have dodged a bullet and that he give any indication he would accept or know what to do with honest feedback.

However, I do think @pouletvous’s question is genius, so I’d want to ask him that just to see what would happen.

bellysgoneandgotme · 01/02/2026 19:53

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Evaka · 01/02/2026 19:41

Nutter. Right to turn it down and you owe him nowt further.

WonsWoo · 01/02/2026 19:38

Did he really not even ask you any questions at all. Like why you want the job or what your skills are?

I’m not doubting you, he sounds awful and I don’t blame you for turning it down. It’s just bizarre not to ask a prospective employee a single question.

MyDeftDuck · 01/02/2026 19:33

Jeez! He sounds full of himself! Sounds like he is going to struggle to fill that vacancy.

LindorDoubleChoc · 01/02/2026 19:30

Never ever wrong to turn down any job. Trust your gut! Why are you even asking?

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