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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn down a job when the interviewer talked solidly at me for 1.5 hours

130 replies

PeacockPalace · 31/01/2026 20:09

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 02/02/2026 08:34

Lucky Escape springs to mind….

Snakebite61 · 02/02/2026 08:28

PeacockPalace · 31/01/2026 20:09

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

Tell him exactly why you didn't take the job. Then if he keeps on emailing you, ignore him.

StMichaelPenkevil · 02/02/2026 08:22

Muffinmam · 01/02/2026 20:19

Why should she?

The man clearly has issues. Why should she contribute to his personal development?

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Why not? At the very least, it will stop any further emails from him.

Travelfairy · 01/02/2026 23:49

Sausagescanfly · 31/01/2026 20:11

Bullet dodged!

This!

MsAmerica · 01/02/2026 23:40

PeacockPalace · 31/01/2026 20:09

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

You may be right that he wouldn't value your feedback, but I'm a great believer in providing it, because at least you offered the person the chance to think, even if he doesn't take you up on it.
And, really, if you got rejected, wouldn't you love a hint why?
Maybe you could say something nice like: I know you were very enthusiastic, but with the way it became so hard to say something, I was feeling that it might not be a place where I'd have a genuine voice, where my contributions would be valued.

ErinBell01 · 01/02/2026 23:34

I got in touch with a company that wasn't advertising jobs, but gave them my CV and said I'd be interested in working for them. They phoned and invited me to come in - and proceeded to talk at me for an hour. Ended by saying give us a ring when you get back from holiday to tell us what you think. So I agreed, but didn't know whether I'd got the job or not! A week after getting home from holiday I phoned to be told to turn up on Monday morning and was there for 13 mostly happy years. They just weren't very good at interviewing!

illsendansostotheworld · 01/02/2026 23:29

PaterPower · 31/01/2026 21:20

I worked for a woman who was just like that at interview and I had doubts about taking the job.

I wish I’d listened to my inner dialogue, as she was awful to work for.

I took a job once even though every voice in my head was screaming don't take the job!!! But l needed to get out of where l was. Regretted it every single day.

Suec254 · 01/02/2026 23:23

Other people will refuse the job for the same reason. Since he keeps asking, you should tell him exactly why! He may be oblivious.

shuggles · 01/02/2026 23:21

@PeacockPalace Depends solely on what the job pays. I'm fine to be talked at if the pay is good.

What was the pay?

Moveoverdarlin · 01/02/2026 23:06

Kamek · 31/01/2026 20:25

Tell him exactly why! You've tried to be diplomatic and polite, it hasn't worked. Sometimes people need bluntly telling

I agree. I would send a one liner.

Well to be blunt I couldn’t get a word in edgeways.

CDTC · 01/02/2026 23:01

GrethaGreen · 01/02/2026 21:56

I got my current job like this. Was interviewed by someone who talked at me the whole interview. At one point she asked me a question, answered it herself and then told me that was a great response.
I had not owned my mouth 😅

This job isn't in west Yorkshire is it 😂

NotnowMildrid · 01/02/2026 22:51

Tell him kindly.

OhamIreally · 01/02/2026 22:39

MeSeM · 31/01/2026 20:23

I'm sorry you experienced this. In my humble opinion I don't think he meant to be difficult, even though he spoke too much. Sometimes some folks talk too much out of nervousness, & even bosses & managers can suffer from bad nerves & have nervous breakdowns. I feel the fact he's keen to know why you're refusing this role /job, shows he didn't mean to cause upset & he must care regarding where he went wrong, or he wouldn't be asking you, especially more than once.
If it was me, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, at least as far's to bring some enlightenments as to why the job or environment isn't comfortable, because it could prevent him making the same mistakes for others, as well, in the long run. It seems like he's genuinely unaware & needs someone who cares, enough to gently bring some insight.

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The oestrogen is strong with this one.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 01/02/2026 22:38

FloofyKat · 01/02/2026 20:19

Think you misunderstood. It’s clearly a joke!

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Jokes are meant to be funny

Puffins4eva · 01/02/2026 22:37

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IDontHateRainbows · 01/02/2026 22:26

Ten to one if OP is honest and tells him why he will deny it.

These types always do, they ask for a reason but they dont really want any reason that paints them in a negative light.

Plasticdreams · 01/02/2026 22:25

I’d tell him why!

Tuesdayschild50 · 01/02/2026 22:21

Block his emails who would want to get up everyday and work with someone of this personality..
You've responded the first time you don't need to say anything else.
He obviously taken it personal 🤭🤣

catlover123456789 · 01/02/2026 22:10

Definitely fine to turn it down (assuming you're not otherwise on benefits), however if he's really pushing for feedback, I'd tell him! Then ask him to stop contacting you!

tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 21:57

GrethaGreen · 01/02/2026 21:56

I got my current job like this. Was interviewed by someone who talked at me the whole interview. At one point she asked me a question, answered it herself and then told me that was a great response.
I had not owned my mouth 😅

What's the job like now that you're in post?

GrethaGreen · 01/02/2026 21:56

I got my current job like this. Was interviewed by someone who talked at me the whole interview. At one point she asked me a question, answered it herself and then told me that was a great response.
I had not owned my mouth 😅

Soontobesingles · 01/02/2026 21:49

‘Thank you for the opportunity to interview. My honest reasons for declining the role are that I found it very difficult to speak during the interview. I felt that you dominated the space and I was unable to answer any questions or discuss the opportunity fully. I’m grateful for you following up but would like to ask that this correspondence ends here. Thank you.‘

IcantFeelMyFaceNow · 01/02/2026 21:46

Could you tell him you will work if he doubles the salary and you retain the right to wear ear defenders and he can only speak when he's holding a conch?

TheMorgenmuffel · 01/02/2026 21:42

You should tell him exactly why you dont want the job.

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