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Original poster

How would you split this cost?

64 replies

FunnyOrca · 31/01/2026 16:31

My grandmother is turning 100 (hopefully 🤞) and the family want to mark the occasion. Obviously Grandma won’t be paying; it’s a surprise. The plan seems to be a country house hotel function room with catering. Some people will need to stay over.

The trouble is historically, her eldest son has paid for everything (80th, 90th, family holidays, days out when kids were younger, meals out etc.). Due to the nature of the grandchildren growing up, this will be the first time the whole family will be together since her 90th and nearly all of the great-grandchildren have never been included before. Her son is now retired and is being out-earned by at least two of the grandchildren. “His side” of the family is also smaller. I don’t think he should pay and he has said as much. How would you split it?

Son and spouse (accommodation)

Grandchild, spouse and baby (accommodation)

Grandchild and baby (accommodation) (on a budget)

Daughter and spouse (on a budget)

Grandchild and 2 teenagers (on a budget)

Grandchild, spouse and 6 children (11-2)

Grandchild, spouse and baby (accommodation)

Grandchild and partner (accommodation) (no idea of financials)

OP posts:
CatAsstrophe · 31/01/2026 16:54

EvangelineTheNightStar · 31/01/2026 16:34

Everyone pays for their own usage and split the cost for eldest son and birthday girl pay to celebrate her and to thank him for his incredible generosity?
theres not actually any family members who don’t think they should pay and he should?

I agree with this option. It's fair and acknowledges the historic generosity of the eldest son.

somanychristmaslights · 31/01/2026 16:54

Everyone pays their own accommodation. Is GM staying? If yes, that should be split by her children.

Icanttakethisanymore · 31/01/2026 16:54

Everyone pays for themselves and their dependant children. Granny’s cost is split amongst other adults.

ImDoneOnceAndForAll2 · 31/01/2026 16:52

All the adults split the price for the room and catering not including Granny....
If it is not buffet style and it is per head than the people pay for their own families meals including their own childrens meals...

Whoever needs a room pays for it themselves

Does the family expect one person to pay for everything including people's hotel rooms?
Surely not?!?

Gorlamdia · 31/01/2026 16:52

Oh yes I would just leave accommodation costs for each family to book and sort for themselves. Lead booker should ask about a special room rate for function attendees before anyone books.

ParmaVioletTea · 31/01/2026 16:48

All the families pay for their own food/meals and accommodation. So if a family wants 3 rooms, they pay for 3 rooms - and so on.

Every family - children and grandchildren - split your grandmother's costs.

Gorlamdia · 31/01/2026 16:42

Like @TaylorNotSoSwift. Broadly split by adult apart from GM. Children paid at cost by their parents before the remaining bill is split by adults. Some families might absorb their cost into the general bill, but a family with 6 children this is less likely.

Fairly low level of alcohol included in the package, with a pay bar available.

If anyone offers to bung a bit more in because they can afford it & it'll help others out, then great.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 31/01/2026 16:41

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 31/01/2026 16:37

I don't actually understand how you've broken it down.
So there's accommodation to be paid for for some, and a meal for all, is that right?
Everyone pays for their own accommodation and that of their non-earning children. The meal cost is either each pay for own and children's plus divide Granny's, or divide bill between earners.

This, @FunnyOrca is it that some of the group are saying the whole cost should be split by adults? So those with no or 1
dc will be paying the costs for the one with 6 dc?

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 31/01/2026 16:37

I don't actually understand how you've broken it down.
So there's accommodation to be paid for for some, and a meal for all, is that right?
Everyone pays for their own accommodation and that of their non-earning children. The meal cost is either each pay for own and children's plus divide Granny's, or divide bill between earners.

Ellie1015 · 31/01/2026 16:37

Everyone pays their own way and chip in for gran is what we would do. If i was on a budget I would probably not bring my own children to save on costs.

If I was the well off son or grandchild I might offer to pay for grandma rather than split between everyone.

Tickman · 31/01/2026 16:35

TaylorNotSoSwift · 31/01/2026 16:34

I’d split the room hire (event) cost by adult, cost per head for the meal per adult and children’s food paid for by the child’s parents. Cost of Granny’s dinner split equally between adults.
If people want to stay that’s on them.

I’d probably split it per family, not per adult, but otherwise this.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 31/01/2026 16:35

And the grandchild with spouse and 6 dc should be paying waaay more than the couples or family with 1 or 2 dc!

EvangelineTheNightStar · 31/01/2026 16:34

Everyone pays for their own usage and split the cost for eldest son and birthday girl pay to celebrate her and to thank him for his incredible generosity?
theres not actually any family members who don’t think they should pay and he should?

TaylorNotSoSwift · 31/01/2026 16:34

I’d split the room hire (event) cost by adult, cost per head for the meal per adult and children’s food paid for by the child’s parents. Cost of Granny’s dinner split equally between adults.
If people want to stay that’s on them.