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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Really disturbed by response to this horrible incident

233 replies

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:22

Recently I was at Kings Cross. On my way to meet a friend. When this middle aged guy saw me and said something along the lines of “oh my god how beautiful, her face”. The two younger guys who he was with had to physically restrain him ans he was trying to walk in my direction. And they honestly were struggling. They were maybe 10 metres away from me but I was genuinely afraid. I’m 27 and incredibly active but only 5 ft 3. I was surrounded by people but worried I was going to be groped. Plus I really don’t like drawing any attention whatsoever if I can help it. Naturally VERY shy.

Ive recounted this incident to three people (all women of varying ages) and they’ve all mentioned the part about me being called beautiful. Like it’s a compliment. Ie that should be the takeaway. The man was physically intimidating to me! I was genuinely scared I was going to be attacked.

I just find this response very very depressing. Would the women around you not express sympathy if you were to tell them of a similar encounter?

OP posts:
FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 15:51

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:48

I don’t know how anyone can make the determination from the little I said/observed that he had mh issues. Many men don’t know how to behave. Regardless of background.

Im not saying he didn’t. Maybe he did. But many men without mh issues behave inappropriately to women.

Edited

The fact that he was obviously being escorted by two other men who were alert enough to immediately restrain him means he struggles to go out independently, therefore he is not in good health or normal.

stichguru · 31/01/2026 15:51

Younger guys with an older guy, who then restrained him while he was walking towards you. Honestly this screams guy with a serious disability that the two guys were aware of and was why he was with them. I doubt two members of the public would jump on someone while they walking towards you. Like maybe if they were centimetres from you and clearly about to cuddle you, jump you, kiss you or something, but not risk being convicted of GBH or assault just because a stranger might do something to another stranger. While I'm sorry it happened, I'd think no more of it. Sounds like a disabled person who would maybe have done something inappropriate being cared for appropriately.

Monty34 · 31/01/2026 15:50

Without knowing if the person was clearly mentally ill in some way, simple, or similar it is hard to comment.

FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 15:49

I get you were frightened, but it sounds like he was intellectually challenged or maybe early dementia which is why he had two carers out with him. The carers were likely to be family members.

I don’t think it’s that horrible of a situation actually. Nothing really happened to you.

Perhaps that is why sympathy has been lacking?

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:48

I don’t know how anyone can make the determination from the little I said/observed that he had mh issues. Many men don’t know how to behave. Regardless of background.

Im not saying he didn’t. Maybe he did. But many men without mh issues behave inappropriately to women.

OP posts:
Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:47

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:43

I hate to say it but he was most likely from a country where men and women probably do not mix freely.

I got the impression the two guys were family members.

i really didn’t want to share that detail as I am definitely not trying to cause division

Edited

Seriously! I’m sorry but now you’re being absolutely ridiculous! The guy sounds like he’s clearly mentally ill/disabled. I think you’re overdramatising the whole situation. Most people would have just walked on realising that he is unwell. This isn’t just in London as well for your information, I live in a large town outside the M25 and I’m regularly see mentally ill/disabled out with their carers. Unfortunately, they don’t behave what could be considered normally because they don’t know they aren’t.

EchoedSilence · 31/01/2026 15:46

I would say he had MH issues. Still scary for you though.

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:45

Tigerbalmshark · 31/01/2026 15:45

But then he probably wouldn’t have said it in English?

Anyway, no YANBU, and you should report it (even if it was a day or two ago - they will have CCTV)

He did. With an accent

OP posts:
Warmlight1 · 31/01/2026 15:45

Wondered was he drunk or high and that's why the friends stopped him. Because otherwise his friends shouldn't have reason to do that and usually a stranger wouldn't make that king of comment and advance on you. . Does sound unnerving.

Tigerbalmshark · 31/01/2026 15:45

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:43

I hate to say it but he was most likely from a country where men and women probably do not mix freely.

I got the impression the two guys were family members.

i really didn’t want to share that detail as I am definitely not trying to cause division

Edited

But then he probably wouldn’t have said it in English?

Anyway, no YANBU, and you should report it (even if it was a day or two ago - they will have CCTV)

Sunshineandoranges · 31/01/2026 15:44

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:30

The fact something positive was said about my appearance is extremely beside the point in my opinion. The physical threatening should be the only thing commented on

Not always a compliment. Some men have been engaginn in conversation like you are so lovely i had to talk to you while filming women in public places then uploading the pictures online. There was a news item recently. Some of the men are wearing the glasses which are fitted with invisible cameras so the women dont know they are being filmed. The women then get subjected to online sexual comments and abuse. Definitely not acceptable.

Mrsblobby88 · 31/01/2026 15:44

Bloody hell- the people out there are saying this is a compliment need to gives their heads a wobble. Who would be complimented by this freak of a man?!!

hope you are ok OP xx

Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:43

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

Who leaves AirDrop on anyway? 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m not victim blaming, switch it off.

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:43

I hate to say it but he was most likely from a country where men and women probably do not mix freely.

I got the impression the two guys were family members.

i really didn’t want to share that detail as I am definitely not trying to cause division

OP posts:
Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:41

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

That was exactly my thought when she mentioned the two younger guys with him, hence voting as YABU. I appreciate it may have scared the OP but some of the wording they have used is dramatic.

MustardGlass · 31/01/2026 15:41

Tbh it sounds like he had an intellectual disability and he needs 2 carers when in the public.

EmeraldRoulette · 31/01/2026 15:40

Sorry this happened to you
That is really scary

was he drunk? Not that that's an excuse. I'm just curious. Or on drugs. These days it could be anything really.

If you can face reporting it, that's the thing to do.

x2boys · 31/01/2026 15:39

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

This was my first thought or mental illness?

Bikergran · 31/01/2026 15:39

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

This was my thought immediately, or that he was drunk.

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:37

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

No I didn’t get that impression. But obviously can’t be sure.

OP posts:
Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:37

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

it didn’t even cross my mind to report tbh! Thinking I should’ve now.

sadly unwanted male attention/ cat calling is very normal in London.

OP posts:
IDontHateRainbows · 31/01/2026 15:35

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

What's air drop?

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:30

Mariocatgran · 31/01/2026 15:28

@Xoxka hi being pn your own I would be scared aswell but it is a compliment but obviously he should have kept it himself

The fact something positive was said about my appearance is extremely beside the point in my opinion. The physical threatening should be the only thing commented on

OP posts:
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