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Really disturbed by response to this horrible incident

233 replies

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:22

Recently I was at Kings Cross. On my way to meet a friend. When this middle aged guy saw me and said something along the lines of “oh my god how beautiful, her face”. The two younger guys who he was with had to physically restrain him ans he was trying to walk in my direction. And they honestly were struggling. They were maybe 10 metres away from me but I was genuinely afraid. I’m 27 and incredibly active but only 5 ft 3. I was surrounded by people but worried I was going to be groped. Plus I really don’t like drawing any attention whatsoever if I can help it. Naturally VERY shy.

Ive recounted this incident to three people (all women of varying ages) and they’ve all mentioned the part about me being called beautiful. Like it’s a compliment. Ie that should be the takeaway. The man was physically intimidating to me! I was genuinely scared I was going to be attacked.

I just find this response very very depressing. Would the women around you not express sympathy if you were to tell them of a similar encounter?

OP posts:
5128gap · 31/01/2026 16:04

The incident itself is far more disturbing that the response.
Women are taught from babyhood that being pretty is desirable. Being stopped in the street by a man overcome by a woman's beauty is a familiar trope from adverts, films etc, since forever. When your friends heard of this, their minds jumped to the romanticised version and projected onto you their own feelings about being called beautiful, as a good thing, as we're taught that it is.
In doing so they overlooked the fear and intimidation you felt. While this is an oversight on their part, it's no way as disturbing as the fact there are men walking amongst us who need to be restrained by two other men when they see a woman they think attractive.
I'm sorry this happened to you and hate that the streets feel unsafe for women. But this isn't your friends fault, so try not to divert your feelings to them.

Tonissister · 31/01/2026 16:04

Wowsersbrowsers · 31/01/2026 15:29

Report to British transport police if you mean the station. What a weirdo (him, not you)

Edited

This. They do actually have posters up saying it is not okay to sexually harass women on the tube.
Because it isn't.
At very least log your complaint with them and give a description of the man. If he has a habit of it, they might pursue it.
Things only change if we keep objecting to being objectified.

Inmyuggs · 31/01/2026 16:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JLou08 · 31/01/2026 16:03

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:48

I don’t know how anyone can make the determination from the little I said/observed that he had mh issues. Many men don’t know how to behave. Regardless of background.

Im not saying he didn’t. Maybe he did. But many men without mh issues behave inappropriately to women.

Edited

Because not many men would feel the need to jointly pull back their 'friend' if they called someone beautiful. I know there are lots of bad men out there but even the bad ones wouldn't bother with a man who they needed to restrain in a train station. It would bring them too much trouble and be no fun.
It very much sounds like the man has a disability that means he needs 2:1 support and those two people are aware of indications that he is posing a risk, so therfore, restrained him.

pinkyredrose · 31/01/2026 16:01

Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:43

Who leaves AirDrop on anyway? 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m not victim blaming, switch it off.

Not victim blaming but then you victim blame.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 31/01/2026 16:01

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:53

Hmm I can see how you’ve interpreted it as such. But I don’t think there is enough info to make the determination.

I interpreted it differently. And assumed the men were his family members. Who possibly kniw this man is a pest.

But behaving like this is so far beyond 'being a pest' and that is what people are picking up on, OP. You are right and there are men out there who behave inappropriately, but trying to get to you whilst exclaiming about your beauty, outside the realms of adverts for bodyspray, are really WAY beyond any kind of even normal male-pest levels.

FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 16:00

AmberSpy · 31/01/2026 15:57

It wasn't a compliment FFS, it made OP terrified (quite understandably). We need to stop minimising this kind of male behaviour - it makes women feel threatened and unsafe and there is no excuse for it.

OP, I'm really sorry that happened to you.

No excuse except for intellectually disabled, early dementia, etc which is why he had an escort of two younger men to ensure women were safe.

Let’s acknowledge the male behaviours of the other two men in this group of 3.

PleatEnvy · 31/01/2026 15:59

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:48

I don’t know how anyone can make the determination from the little I said/observed that he had mh issues. Many men don’t know how to behave. Regardless of background.

Im not saying he didn’t. Maybe he did. But many men without mh issues behave inappropriately to women.

Edited

OP, I live in London and have been here for over 30 years. Nothing about what he did is acceptable. It is not a compliment. My heart sinks when women say this kind of thing. It’s almost depresses me as much as the index offence does.

No man should make you feel uncomfortable like this. There was no need for him to behave in a threatening way. I don’t really care what the cause was, his behaviour was wrong and nobody should minimise it or accept it. There are many ways to give compliments. This is not one of them.

ohyesido · 31/01/2026 15:58

“First of all, thank you for calling me pretty”

your friends are ditzy and spiritually undeveloped if they think unwanted advances are complimentary and a measure of attractiveness

FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 15:57

x2boys · 31/01/2026 15:57

Your doing exactly what you are accusing others off ,nobody knows ,wether he was just a pest or disabled or mentally ill but given two men immediately restrained him I would hazard a guess they were caring for him in some way.

This is the most probable scenario.

AmberSpy · 31/01/2026 15:57

Mariocatgran · 31/01/2026 15:28

@Xoxka hi being pn your own I would be scared aswell but it is a compliment but obviously he should have kept it himself

It wasn't a compliment FFS, it made OP terrified (quite understandably). We need to stop minimising this kind of male behaviour - it makes women feel threatened and unsafe and there is no excuse for it.

OP, I'm really sorry that happened to you.

x2boys · 31/01/2026 15:57

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:53

Hmm I can see how you’ve interpreted it as such. But I don’t think there is enough info to make the determination.

I interpreted it differently. And assumed the men were his family members. Who possibly kniw this man is a pest.

Your doing exactly what you are accusing others off ,nobody knows ,wether he was just a pest or disabled or mentally ill but given two men immediately restrained him I would hazard a guess they were caring for him in some way.

eekwhatnow · 31/01/2026 15:56

FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 15:49

I get you were frightened, but it sounds like he was intellectually challenged or maybe early dementia which is why he had two carers out with him. The carers were likely to be family members.

I don’t think it’s that horrible of a situation actually. Nothing really happened to you.

Perhaps that is why sympathy has been lacking?

Edited

This. I don’t really get it. It’s never nice to feel intimidated but nothing happened to you.

FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 15:56

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:53

Hmm I can see how you’ve interpreted it as such. But I don’t think there is enough info to make the determination.

I interpreted it differently. And assumed the men were his family members. Who possibly kniw this man is a pest.

Yet you’ve decided the man could not be English at all, by saying he is most likely from a country where men and women probably do not mix freely on far less information (none).

Loads of English people have “accents”

Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:56

ICantBelieveItsNotMe · 31/01/2026 15:54

He was being restrained. They were struggling to restrain him. He was obviously very unwell indeed

Edit you were right to be scared and the fact that he thought you are beautiful is utterly irrelevant. He is almost certainly dangerous

Edited

And perhaps at the train station because they were taking him to or from an appointment 🤷🏻‍♀️

LeafyMcLeafFace · 31/01/2026 15:56

I feel like there is a huge amount of information missing from this account which is making it hard to understand why the people with him leapt on him. For me, it’s that bit which sounds scary, rather than what he said (although that is weird. You’re entitled to feel how you feel but there’s a lot of information missing which might help people understand better

Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:55

letsallchant · 31/01/2026 15:53

In what way isn't this victim blaming? 🙄

It’s advice, not victim blaming! Don’t goad me.

ICantBelieveItsNotMe · 31/01/2026 15:54

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:48

I don’t know how anyone can make the determination from the little I said/observed that he had mh issues. Many men don’t know how to behave. Regardless of background.

Im not saying he didn’t. Maybe he did. But many men without mh issues behave inappropriately to women.

Edited

He was being restrained. They were struggling to restrain him. He was obviously very unwell indeed

Edit you were right to be scared and the fact that he thought you are beautiful is utterly irrelevant. He is almost certainly dangerous

FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 15:53

I hate to say it but he was most likely from a country where men and women probably do not mix freely.

This is racist.

letsallchant · 31/01/2026 15:53

Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:43

Who leaves AirDrop on anyway? 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m not victim blaming, switch it off.

In what way isn't this victim blaming? 🙄

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:53

FiatLuxAdAstra · 31/01/2026 15:51

The fact that he was obviously being escorted by two other men who were alert enough to immediately restrain him means he struggles to go out independently, therefore he is not in good health or normal.

Hmm I can see how you’ve interpreted it as such. But I don’t think there is enough info to make the determination.

I interpreted it differently. And assumed the men were his family members. Who possibly kniw this man is a pest.

OP posts:
x2boys · 31/01/2026 15:53

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:48

I don’t know how anyone can make the determination from the little I said/observed that he had mh issues. Many men don’t know how to behave. Regardless of background.

Im not saying he didn’t. Maybe he did. But many men without mh issues behave inappropriately to women.

Edited

Yoyr doing exactly the same
I m sorry this happened to you though its very unnerving.

Indianajet · 31/01/2026 15:53

I would have thought he had a learning disability or similar problem and as he was immediately stopped by his companions it wouldn't have worried me to any great extent.

7238SM · 31/01/2026 15:52

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

This was my thought also. Someone with no filter and blurts out what he is thinking, then 2 young me with him holding him back 🤔
I'm sorry you had that experience. I would have initially tried to find station staff on the platform, next option the call phone thing on the wall at platforms and next option, text the transport police.

EchoedSilence · 31/01/2026 15:51

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:48

I don’t know how anyone can make the determination from the little I said/observed that he had mh issues. Many men don’t know how to behave. Regardless of background.

Im not saying he didn’t. Maybe he did. But many men without mh issues behave inappropriately to women.

Edited

I'd say the fact he was restrained by the two men with him points to him needing some sort of carers.