Really disturbed by response to this horrible incident

Eww, so he was racist too

Why just no?

Mental illness doesn't just consist of anxiety and depression, some conditions affect a person's inhibitions, and can make them do and say all kinds of inappropriate things same with someone with learning disabilities
Given he was immediately restrained its very possible he does have some kind of impairment.

Totally unacceptable - his behaviour and your friends' reactions. I'm much older (and taller) than you but something similar happened to me in a London supermarket many years ago. A guy followed me around, saying, 'Hey Slim! You're so beautiful!' It doesn't sound much but, repeated over and over, it was really frightening. My friends took it seriously when I told them about it but no-one (this was the 90s) suggested I should report it. I would now - and so should you if something similar happens again. Enough with this fuckwitted idea that calling someone beautiful is an unreserved, unequivocal, gotta-be-grateful-for compliment.

That's your response? God you sound vile

Yes I don’t think the woman I know would focus on the so-called compliment part. This random older man loudly calling you beautiful and trying to approach you as a lone young woman isn’t good in any way. It sounds scary. Sorry that happened to you. YANBU

Pp saying he was intellectually disabled or had MH issues. IMO whether he did or he didn’t, it’s still incredibly frightening. I remember in my late 20s a family friends cousin who was non-verbal and autistic terrified me. He kept staring at me while I was at their house visiting with my friend and moving closer and bursting out into laughter.

He was 18 but a big lad and at one point out of the blue he lunged at me. My family friend got in between us and when I asked what was that all about, she said he had a habit of touching women inappropriately and she could see he was going for my (very large) boobs. So that’s probably what he staring at all that time.

I get he may not have understood what he was doing was wrong and may find it difficult to deal with puberty and his urges or whatever, but it was still incredibly scary and intimidating. I kept one eye on him the whole time I was there and was relieved when we left.

Honestly if you are sexually assaulted, it’s no comfort to hear the man didn’t really understand what he’s doing.

I suppose being incredibly attractive must be really difficult sometimes 😔

Unwanted male attention/ cat calling never used to be normal in London in the 90s and 2000s. Paris on the other hand has always been a cesspit of sleazy males

I’m 100% on your side OP. That’s scary, I would have felt the same, been called beautiful by someone who you feel threatened by is NOT a compliment. It’s completely irrelevant. I hate how women are told we should listen to our gut and trust our instincts but then when we do the benefit of the doubt is immediately given to men (“sounds like he has MH issues” “he just thought you were beautiful”). No.

It doesnt
But he was immediately restrained thankfully.

I think most of us of certain age have experienced similar, i was once followed into the female toilets on a night out by a work colleague who put his hand up my skirt.and tried groping me ,nobody really cared and thought it was a bit of a laugh, shocking really.

You should have spoken to BTP immediately.

Not sure what your height has to do with this, I’m 5’7 and I would feel threatened if he come near me, regardless of his age or height.

sorry you went through this, women have to put up with so much these days.

Also why does him having a mental health problem or learning disability make him less dangerous to the OP? Fred West was learning disabled. Axel Rudakubana had multiple mental health problems.

Agree with this. It sounds very much as though his support workers intervened here.

I appreciate you were there @Xoxka so had first hand experience but you've made a Hell of a lot of suppositions.

He was non English, from a country where men don't mix with women, with relatives who have to restrain him on a regular basis as he is a known (sex)pest 🙄

His behaviour was concerning but your conjecture isn't helpful.

You should have flagged down staff or Transport police and told them what happened / what the men looked like / where in the station you encountered them.

YANBU to be intimidated by this. I agree the focus on the "beautiful" bit from your friends means they missed the point entirely. But I think they were (inexpertly) trying to show you that can choose how you view this event.

Your takeaway could be - this man was very intimidating. I was scared. I was in danger.

Or it could be.

Although this man was intimidating and it was scary, there were 2 other men trying to hold him back which allowed me to get away and it seems like they would have helped me if anything had happened.

The RLD was dispersed around 20 years ago though it took till very recently for that activity to become almost invisible. I used to get propositioned by kerb crawlers aged 8 onwards and dealt with dozens of flashers. 🤢

It sounds like the reaction of the two men with him is the bit that would have unnerved the most.

The comment on its own is out of order and creepy but the two men jumping to restrain him has shown that there might have been something to be frightened about. Does that make sense?

It does mean they likely had a reason to suspect he would do something whether that be previous risk, a learning difficulty or something else.

I don’t ever think it’s a compliment when someone comments on you uninvited and your friends are wrong if that’s how they see it.

Yep. I had someone pin me against the wall when I was 22. And nobody really gave a shit.

👏👏👏

Agreed but I was replying to a poster who thinks posters on this threes think catcalling and wolf whistling are compliments.

Well OP, as you've read here, if you're a 5' 3 woman in her twenties on her own in a public place and a middle aged man has to be physically restrained from lunging at you, just remember HE'S the victim. He's got dementia, learning difficulties, mental health issues and is out with his carers (as we know, UK mental health services fund all those with mental health problems two full time carers so they can travel with ease). Not only are you racist, xenophobic, ableist and ageist you need to check your privilege. In fact, if anyone knows this man I'd like to start a crowdfunder for him. [SARCASM]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. It's frightening and weird and let's not pretend that women haven't been raped and murdered by strange men in daylight in public places in recent years.

This thread overall is an absolute shitshow of victim blaming. And I have no idea whether I have airdrop on or off. I use it quite a lot to transfer files but it's good to know that if I haven't checked this, it's my fault I get sexually harassed.

That kind of thing not happening any more is the best thing about being a lot older. Don't want to detect from your feelings about the incident but I've had a whole lot worse things happen.