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Partner’s drug use and lies

78 replies

Dixie81 · 31/01/2026 08:31

He uses drugs but I won’t say which types to avoid outing myself here. It’s not all the time but he becomes a horrible person when he’s using and for a while after. It got so bad that we broke up but after months of relationship counselling we got back together but still do not live together full time. He agreed to be honest about his drug use in future.

He has never kept to this agreement. I’ve caught him out lying an lot and I can’t understand why. He knows I won’t dump him over the drugs but I just want to avoid him during those drug binges. Is that too much to ask? I can’t get my head around why he won’t tell the truth. When I ask him why he just says ‘I don’t know’. it makes no sense.

He is a great guy when he’s not using so I won’t break up with him and I’ve told him that but it’s the lack of respect and honesty that upsets me. It’s only occasional. It’s not like he’s using drugs every day and he doesn’t want me around when he’s using anyway so why doesn’t he just tell me?

OP posts:
NewYearNewMee · 31/01/2026 08:43

That’s not enough to ask!

He's not a “great guy” when not using, because he’s clearly still not wanting to tell you when he’s using and will be horrible. He’s also not a great guy if he’s not being honest or respectful like he agreed to be 🤷🏻‍♀️ he’s a drug addict even if he’s not using every day, he’s using and lying about it!

ThePrecisionsifthisislove · 31/01/2026 08:41

You've given him the green light to use as you've stated you won't break up with him also he needs to want to stop.
I'm an ex amphetamine user 20+years

tsmainsqueeze · 31/01/2026 08:39

If you stay you make your bed.
He's unlikely to stop so he's going to continue being abusive- for that is what it is , to you.
I bet that will get harder to put up with the longer it goes on.
You aren't as important to him as his drugs are.
No one is going to tell you to stay with him.
Life is to short for a shit relationship.