To think my Grammar School DD 2 with an IQ of 119 should be aiming for at least Grade 7's in all her GCSE subjects.

This is mad OP. Are you standing outside her bedroom with a clock? No one needs to put this amount on pressure on a year 9 FFS.

Because I'm allowed an opinion 😅😅😅

I'm sorry about what happened to that child. 5/6s don't ruin a child's life but 8/9s help.

There's a difference between berating a child for getting less than expected and encouraging them to reach and achieve their full potential. There's a difference between how you go about doing it.

I'm Indian and we value education and hard work. I did push all my children to achieve what i knew they were capable of. We know the benefit a good education brings.

162 on the last test I did (sometimes for fun). But it's logic rather than anything that helps for passing exams or having ridiculous qualifications. Makes me good at my job though.

Can you please clarify the homework issue? Do you have to watch her because she doesn’t do her homework? Did you just set an arbitrary time? Does the school set 2h homework every night and she has actual tasks to do?

We've sailed past that in this family - not me though!😐

Those kids getting 8/9' in their GSCE's (like my niece) despite not doing homework are getting them because they have the understanding on how to cope in an exam and answer questions exactly how the exam board wants.

Precisely.

GCSEs don't really make much of a demand on IQ (after a certain IQ level, which 119 would be above).

GCSEs are about slog and conscientiousness and preparation and knowing the syllabus. So yes, someone with an IQ of 119 should be able to score 7s.

Many, many students scoring 9s will have that sort of IQ level - except, perhaps Further Maths where I think you start to get some IQs well above that gathering together in a classroom.

And, ironically, it's the 140+ IQs who are often still winging it a bit on innate ability at that age and don't always demonstrate their ability.

My IQ is 158. Can anyone top that or do I win a prize?

having just been through GCSE's with my daughter last year, would it help if i said that some children just have the mind/brain for exams?

IQ really is irrelevant if a childs brain doesn't work the way the Exam style needs them to. My DD is quite bright, again, like me, she has AuDHD, you ask her anything about history, maths..etc, she knows the answer, and did get a pass in her maths exams.. but anything that needed essay answers, she flunked, simply because her brain doesn't understand or grasp the concept of essay style question answers. She's retaking English at College and flying through their exams/assessments because they're teaching it differently and its clicked for her... a child who got a 2, is now getting 8/9 equivalents (90%+)

Those kids getting 8/9' in their GSCE's (like my niece) despite not doing homework are getting them because they have the understanding on how to cope in an exam and answer questions exactly how the exam board wants.

I currently have to make sure constantly that she is doing around 1 hour 20 minutes a night homework, because if I did not watch her she would lie to me how long she had spent on it !

My DD2 got 7s and 8s, and never did an 1 hour and 20 minutes per night in Year 9, even on the weekends/breaks.

There is a reason schools discuss building up homework and revision time - kids can burn out or become resistant the longer that kind of pressure is on them. 2 hours is more what I'd expect towards the second half of Year 11 - at a push. I don't think my DD2 did that much on school days, but would go beyond on weekends and breaks.

Your child may be aiming low due to low self esteem for all sorts of reasons - puberty sucks and/or having it drilling it into her that if she doesn't do X she's not going to get there and/or social reasons to not want to appear a swot and/or many other reasons. It could also be that she'd rather pick a safer target/a minimum so she can have the joy of smashing it and less risk of disappointment. Either way, telling her off about it is unlikely to help.

My DD2 has had teachers even into college that discussed that she tends to aim lower than she can do, that she picks comfortable targets - she'd prefer to smash it out of the park by getting well above expected. It may be frustrating to some, but I don't think that's automatically a wrong way to look at it - for her, it's the least she wants to get to meet her goals so that's the target and when she inevitably gets above it, that's just extra cause for celebration.

I'm not as bright as some others here (137 when I last tried a test) - and I got AABBBBBCCCD (many, many years ago - and I couldn't even tell you which subject was which now, except for one of the Bs is Maths which I was smarting over because they decided to put us all in for the intermediate paper making an A - in my best subject - impossible)

My son (probably about the same brightness as me) just got basically identical results in his Junior cert (Irish GCSE equivalent - including for maths because he's dyspraxic and his hand writing makes maths the one exam he can't prove his level at as you can't type it).

That's not because I couldn't have hothoused him (or myself) but because that's plenty. In life, there is no point burning yourself out to be the top of the top - be adequate, and use the rest of your inner resource on more fulfilling things.

They go the extra mile because it's on their interests to do so. My school predicted me C's at A level and tried to put that on my UCAS reference. I told my tutor - 'please predict me A's and B's as otherwise I wont get into my uni course, and if you predict it I promise I will get it'. After a battle they did, and I got 4 A's. Basically them under predicting gave me the drive to (mentally) stick a finger up at them to show them they were wrong. Tell your daughter to fight back and prove them wrong.

well yes, it's why i said in a previous post that right now her focus needs to be on boosting her DD's confidence and faith in her own abilities, not on grade numbers.

Did they pass grammar test easily or just scrape through? With private prep should have cruised through if fairly bright.

Currently doing prep for Bucks grammar, and the tutors have said that children from private schools sometimes scrape in due to the intensive school prep, but aren't actually suited to Grammar, and end up feeling really rubbish as they are consistently bottom or near the bottom which knocks their confidence, and that maybe sounds like your daughter - she is being pushed beyond her reasonable expectations and is now pushing back?

Ultimately she has to make a decision on what she wants to acheive and put the work in.

I think OP should tell her DD that she's a bright young woman can she can definitely do well at GCSEs. Ask her "why do you think you'll only get 5s" and then have a chat about it.

But the school would have given her expected levels in year 7.

If she's not achieving them, have you spoken to the school?

I'd do that, and then find out what's going on with her.

And just because she's at a grammar doesn't mean she'll come out high, it's often a culture shock that there are others who are way ahead of you when you've been accustemed, at primary, to being top dog academically

What does her IQ have to with it? 119 isn’t even that high.

It's really bizarre being that fixated on IQ. How did you even find that out? It's not something schools usually measure...

Stop worrying about numbers and talk to your DD. Really listen to what she says.

It reads like you do a lot of steam-rolling. Not listening, and saying a lot of "Well, I think..." and "I know that..."

OK, so you're going into the Y9 Options season.

'Look, you got high enough in your 11+ to get a place at the school. This means by default that you are easily capable of 5-7 at anything you choose, if not higher, as they wouldn't have offered you a place if you weren't. You are smart. Now, what subjects are you interested in taking for GCSE? What subjects do you like? Are there any new ones they're offering? What do you think about those? Are there any you think you definitely don't want to do? Why's that? OK, so not that'.

'I'm sure there are girls who are going to get all 9s and there will be some that won't. They don't matter to me, I care about you and what you want - and it hurts to think that you believe you aren't smart because you're comparing yourself against others. I know you will do amazingly, whatever you choose, the important thing is for you to be happy. So, what do you want to do? Have a think about it.'

It takes away the pressure she could be feeling from you, it focuses upon her wants and needs, rather than your desire for her to get high grades, it makes for a far more pleasant conversation than you banging on about IQ and numbers and her sister and your desires (which is how she could be interpreting it, that you're concerned about how she makes you look, not that you love her and want her to be happy, confident and free to make her own decisions).

I’m incredibly biased because a child at DD’s school tried to kill themselves during mocks week. They have not returned to school, are disabled and haven’t sat their GCSE’s at all. Mostly caused by pressure and “failing “ and getting 5/6’s when they were supposed to be an 8/9. A 5 or a 6(or even a fail) won’t ruin or end a life , that jump could’ve. Another child in DD’s class hasn’t been at school since mid last year. Again , an expected high achieving child and it’s partly due to that pressure/expectation. Whether they’ll do their GCSE’s or what grades they’ll is the last thing on their parents mind atm, they’re too busy hiding all the sharps and other dangerous objects around the house and trying to keep their kid alive.

i dislike it because telling a child what they 'should' get can do damage.

I'm currently dealing with a situation where my DC's school have stuck a label on her pass that says "expected: pass" "aiming for: merit" not quite the wording but DD keeps telling me that its clear the school don't expect much of her, so why go the extra mile.