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Original poster

To think my Grammar School DD 2 with an IQ of 119 should be aiming for at least Grade 7's in all her GCSE subjects.

307 replies

redange · 30/01/2026 23:55

My DD'2 is currently in the process of choosing her GCSE options for next year year 10 and at a Girls Grammar School in Essex. However, I am seriously upset with her attitude at the moment regarding what she thinks grades she should be achieving at the end of year 11. The, schools expectations are grade 7 and above for all subjects . The, other problem is because DD is in year 9 she obviously did not do her SATS at 11 so I have no predicted pathway to convince her. DD'2 has convinced herself, she will only be capable of at best 'all' grade 5's at end of year 11 despite having a decent IQ of 119. For, the record DD 1 IQ is 122 and she is expected to get between 6- 8 GCSE's at 9 and the others at 7/8.
Am I reasonable to think she is just being lazy, or is she suffering from a little bit of confidence, due to 'impostor' syndrome and her sisters likely results. I have looked at various sources online, which suggest that with a good study ethos her grades should not be hugely dissimilar to DD 1's. There, are also a couple of 'rebels' who are friends of hers playing up at school currently, for which the school believe is year 9 blues..

OP posts:
unluckystar · 31/01/2026 01:11

Can you not just encourage her to do her best and tell her you are proud whatever the results?

Original poster
redange · 31/01/2026 01:10

Thank You Why... Not CCHS less competitive ...

OP posts:
Fullmoan · 31/01/2026 01:10

redange · 31/01/2026 00:28

The school for the record expects/require a grade 7 to study subject at A Level. Therefore, the school expects grade 7's as a minimum expectation, especially around English Language/ Literature and Science subjects. I just find it bit concerning she has 'written' herself off without even starting year 10. The, school has done a bit of Preparatory work for Science GCSE's already with year 9's for which she did OK and was around the middle of the group. She, has also said the idea of doing 2 hours homework Monday- Friday is not something she wishes to do. I currently have to make sure constantly that she is doing around 1 hour 20 minutes a night homework, because if I did not watch her she would lie to me how long she had spent on it !

I can't say I blame her.

I have never policed my childrens homework

Surgeons13 · 31/01/2026 01:09

Someone at a grammar school should sensibly be getting majority 7s throughout GCSE barring major extenuating circumstances.

My children also went to Essex grammar schools. All achieved mostly 9s with a spattering of 8s and 7s.

Original poster
redange · 31/01/2026 01:07

For the record the IQ means nothing to me but if I don't give any figures about the academic competency of my DD'2 how can anyone tell me what is normal for a girl of her decent capabilities.

OP posts:
whyayepetal · 31/01/2026 01:06

CCHS? She will probably need a huge amount of reassurance OP, and to feel she is not being compared unfavourably to her sibling. (I’m sure that you’re not doing this btw, it’s just that a Y9 girl amongst very competitive peers can so easily start to feel “less than”, and rather than be seen to fail, they will opt out of trying).

Having grown up as an able child with a mother who liked to boast to friends about my achievements while simultaneously treating me with scorn for anything she saw as a failure, I can tell you that academic ease stays with you, as does a thirst for learning. It can, however remain buried under layers of low self-esteem and impostor syndrome for a long

I hope your DD is able to manage the pressure of the high-achieving environment , bolstered by your love and support. Wishing you both a happy GCSE experience - I hope she finds the subjects that are her passion.

Original poster
redange · 31/01/2026 01:03

No I am not a natural scholar ! I have many disabilities including Autism Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Irlens,, for all the Piss Takers. I do Have a Degree In Politics, so I 'maybe' a 'Idiot' but on the Intelligent side of an Idiot...

OP posts:
nam3c4ang3 · 31/01/2026 00:52

Why do you have their IQs 😂 - sorry op it’s really wierd and a bit braggy/show off tbh (is that IQ really high tho?). I think your poor kid is trying deal with your expectations because let’s be honest…. This is very much a you thing now… she’s probably trying to manage your expectations.

Isittimeformynapyet · 31/01/2026 00:47

Several of us are curious to know why you had your daughters' IQs tested. Could you tell us?

I'm also curious why you often use a rogue comma after the first word of your sentences. That's not a thing. It's weird.

Were you a natural scholar yourself OP?

NeverSeenThatColourBlue · 31/01/2026 00:40

She's not even started her GCSEs, I don't even know why you're discussing what grades she's going to get. How do you even know their IQs? Chill out.

soddingspiderseason · 31/01/2026 00:32

Just let her be. Your anxiety and pressure will put her off from doing her best and will backfire, especially if there are already some kids rebelling. Kids thrive when they enjoy what they do and are self motivated. All this focus on ‘KPIs’ and IQ isn’t showing her that just doing her best is what matters. And what if she failed them all? Would it affect how you feel about her? If the answer to that is yes, then this is a you problem and not a her problem.

Original poster
redange · 31/01/2026 00:28

The school for the record expects/require a grade 7 to study subject at A Level. Therefore, the school expects grade 7's as a minimum expectation, especially around English Language/ Literature and Science subjects. I just find it bit concerning she has 'written' herself off without even starting year 10. The, school has done a bit of Preparatory work for Science GCSE's already with year 9's for which she did OK and was around the middle of the group. She, has also said the idea of doing 2 hours homework Monday- Friday is not something she wishes to do. I currently have to make sure constantly that she is doing around 1 hour 20 minutes a night homework, because if I did not watch her she would lie to me how long she had spent on it !

OP posts:
BlackCatDiscoClub · 31/01/2026 00:23

How do you know your children's IQ? It sounds like your DD is panicking and worried. Maybe she feels genuinely out of her depth. Maybe theres only a couple of subjects she really feels invested in. Ultimately, don't let your DD burn herself out trying to be the perfect daughter. It will backfire.

Fullmoan · 31/01/2026 00:21

redange · 31/01/2026 00:18

I never said she was a genius . I am just thinking she should be able to at least attain 52-53 combined points over 8 GCSE subjects which is required for 6th form entrance. Basically 4 7's and 4 6's should be attainable for her. This, because on this forum everyone's child seems to get at least these type of grades.

My son is predicted straight 9s (in a comprehensive school) but it's never even occurred to me to get him to do an IQ test

Fullmoan · 31/01/2026 00:19

How bizarre to mention their IQ

Original poster
redange · 31/01/2026 00:18

I never said she was a genius . I am just thinking she should be able to at least attain 52-53 combined points over 8 GCSE subjects which is required for 6th form entrance. Basically 4 7's and 4 6's should be attainable for her. This, because on this forum everyone's child seems to get at least these type of grades.

OP posts:
Original poster
redange · 31/01/2026 00:13

DD 2 was at an Independent Prep school before entering Secondary School.

OP posts:
WhatAShewOff · 31/01/2026 00:13

What she’s aiming at is a bit irrelevant at this stage. She needs to be working to the required level of effort (getting homework done on time and paying attention in class) and getting what she gets. I’m sure the teachers will help with exam technique and study tips.

Her IQ is also somewhat irrelevant. She’s obviously clever to have got in to a grammar. But the IQ you quote (how did you test it btw?) doesn’t make her a genius.

ilovefrenchfancies · 31/01/2026 00:10

My DS is in yr9 and he did SATS?

AmplePlayer · 31/01/2026 00:08

weefella · 31/01/2026 00:06

"The, other problem is because DD is in year 9 she obviously did not do her SATS at 11 so I have no predicted pathway to convince her".

Why did she "obviously" not do her SATs? The current Yr9 would have done them.

Not all schools (independent sector) do SATS and not schools inform the children / parents if they are doing SATS.

RazedBeds · 31/01/2026 00:08

Those two IQs are within the standard error measurement and a hair's breadth from each other. Effectively your girls are equally bright, if you set store by IQ tests, which I wouldn't advise too heavily.

I think a batch of 9s from someone who is at 90th centile is a big ask, actually.

However people are correct that you are being rather odd in focusing on IQ numbers. I hope DC2 hasn't been made aware that her IQ is "lower" than her sister's (when really, it isn't).

Oftenaddled · 31/01/2026 00:07

Do you think she's trying to manage your (and everybody's) expectations?

Is she happy to commit to doing her best? Can you take the focus off grades and work on that instead?

weefella · 31/01/2026 00:06

"The, other problem is because DD is in year 9 she obviously did not do her SATS at 11 so I have no predicted pathway to convince her".

Why did she "obviously" not do her SATs? The current Yr9 would have done them.

AmplePlayer · 31/01/2026 00:06

And she's bright enough to have gotten into a super selective Essex Grammar, that's fantastic, build her confidence this year, its all about building her up until she believes in herself and when she believes then she will put the effort in and it become self-reinforcing.

Original poster
redange · 31/01/2026 00:02

DD is year 9...

OP posts:
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