To think my Grammar School DD 2 with an IQ of 119 should be aiming for at least Grade 7's in all her GCSE subjects.

Sounds like she is having a confidence crisis so talk to her and see where it’s coming from.

on homework is she completing it all, presumably she has a set amount of work to get through not a set amount time she should be spending.

I think the main thing at this age is to keep her motivated and confidence but also stay realistic

Having spent 7 years at a girls grammar school in Essex (with an IQ of 124), my experience is unless your daughter has an IQ of 140+ and can get them in the paper, or is in danger of bringing down the average grades she will not get any support.

I was in the middle group- all Bs at GCSE and Cs at A-level. It was only after I left school that I found out all the non-genius people getting A's had extra tution to get the grades to get into university.

High test scores only really get you to the next level of education. The truth is after you leave university not one person asks you what you got in your degree or even what your degree was in. As for the networking part- in only works if you already have connections.

The best skill your daughter can work on is building up her self-confidence outside of her school grades. Send her to acting classes to build up the ability to be charming in interviews and then she will go very far regardless of her grades.

I'm confused.
Homework is done when it's done, surely. Are you sitting there with a timer?

DS has an IQ of 122 (according to his psychologist..it might be a bit higher, but they couldn't do all of the test with him...see where this is going?). He's currently repeating second grade (we are abroad) and he is now luckily plodding along happily in school. He's firmly mid-range of his class, which is a bog standard state primary. I'm expecting him to struggle at secondary. He might not, which would be amazing, and just continue to happily plod on at the bog standard comprehensive he'll be attending. If he does suddenly turn into a completely different child, I might consider sending him to our local grammar school. An IQ test is not a predictor of academic success.
(For reference, mine is at 132 and I didn't get outstanding A-levels, either. I was quite average.)

Let your DD get started with her GCSEs first and then talk about what she's aiming for once she's settled.

Yes you are being UR in “expecting” those results.

My ds has a high IQ but poor language and academic skills and they don’t translate.

YANBU to be concerned about a poor work ethic though.

Hhmmm that's my thoughts too. Primary school teacher here, can't think of anything that would have stopped her doing SATs just a few years ago.
I've encountered many parents like the OP, who get obsessed by numbers around exam results.
Build up their confidence, lay off predicting grades and remember she's entering her teens and will change in the coming years as she gets closer to taking her exams.

My dc rarely did homework or did it in class after they'd finished their other tasks. All achieved better results thsn those needed for your sixth form OP and that was at a comp.So as long as she pays attention in class she should be fine.

IIQ doesn’t necessarily translate into being good at school. I have a high IQ, much higher than either of your dds but really did not do well at school at all. I was just not made to thrive academically in that environment.

in my own time I went back to education and as an adult gained a first class degree, but I really struggled to apply myself as a teen. Constant unhelpful pressure and judgement from my mother went a long way to put me further off eduction rather than making me able to knuckle down.

The responses are classic MNs

”why do you know her IQ”, “that IQ is average”, “my IQ is double that” 🙄😁

So she's thirteen? ((3rd year senior in old money?)

She's probably leaving for school around 8am, with an extra curricular maybe getting home 4.30/5, then another 1hr 20 minimum homework taking her past 6pm, even 5pm if no after school club.

That's a 10 hour day. For a 13yo. Even with a high IQ thats a lot.

The pressure of kids is so high.

Do you know if she got all 5s, she could probably go to a (shock, horror) whispers local 6 form college - and still do the A Levels she wants to?

As pps said. Encourage her to do her best and be proud of her when she does.

By IQ, OP is probably talking about CAT tests which virtually all private schools do and most state state school do a version of. They are used to predict academic outcomes and calculate value added. Schools don't always report these test scores to parents

Why doesn’t she want to do the 2 hours (think that was mentioned) homework? Is she actually interested in certain subjects? Would she benefit from private tuition?

I went to a private school straight from a non private school and I swear most of the teachers thought I was stupid but in the end of term exams I got very high grades including almost top in both our classes for French. However, when I did these exams I didn’t realise how serious they were so was very relaxed about them compared to my peers. I suffered a bit with anxiety over my GCSEs because I knew how important they were and I’m very self critical.

Nobody takes IQ seriously any more (it's so outdated) and in education anyone banging on about it is basically laughed at.
It's OK to encourage her to aim higher but you're in danger of having the opposite effect. That should be obvious, but I fear it isn't.

My DD got 12 x grade 9’s and is predicted 4 x A star for her A levels this summer. Never crossed my mind to test her intelligence formally. Not sure what purpose is. I mean the grades speak for themselves. Also I think some of it with my DD is hard work and determination over natural ability, as she worked incredibly hard in GCSE years. She isn’t one of those kids who does no work and gets a grade 9.

Whilst knowing your kids IQ and setting store by it is a bit unusual and unhelpful, people are being a bit weird about it. Only on mumsnet is being in the top 10% not that bright.

YABU. That IQ is only very slightly above the average range (with 115 being top of the average range) and whilst she probably would do very well if she worked very hard, she absolutely will not just sail through and expect to get great marks without a lot of effort. I feel sorry for her - she is in a competitive school where she likely has a lot less academic aptitude than many others, and you are being way too harsh on her.

I wonder if she might be looking for some reassurance that there are more routes forward in life if she isn't able to meet the school's high expectations @redange?

I like to know that I have a few workable safety nets before I can set out on a more ambitious target. Maybe your dd is the same but these aren't immediately obvious to her, being surrounded by high performing classmates and sister?

Why are you sure she'll do well? You have no idea about that.

Same here. 155 (didnt join, only took the test to prove I was cleverer than my husband!).

IQ is absolutely not the same as academic ability and even if it was, it certainly isnt more important than personal desire or preference. If she would be happy with 5's, who are you to say she is wrong? PErhaps she is managing your expectations as you sound very demanding.

DD3 was the highest achieving student in her GCSE year. School were fully expecting her in VIth form and then Oxbridge. She did her A levels at college and is now in a non RG uni, her first choice, and is excelling.

@redange please ask your dd why she is feeling this way. There may be something up.

I'm sure come GCSE time she'll do really well. Encourage her and let her know she's brilliant.

She isn't her sister. Her sister should be absolutely nothing to do with any conversations about how she is doing or hopes to do. She also isn't her 'rebel' friends. She isn't anyone else on here's daughter either. She hasn't even started to study her GCSE subjects yet. Stop comparing her to other people and focus on who she is as a person.
To get into a grammar she's likely within the top 10% in the country academically, or at least that was the line when I went to one. So she's a smart kid. Girls grammars can crush your confidence in your own abilities though so that's where the focus is needed. Having a parent who's IQ tested you and your sister won't have helped on that front. Support, not pressure. Stop stressing her about results that are over two years away and help build her self confidence now.

Surgeons13 you have obviously never worked in a senior school environment . I have . There are many children that are ‘expected’ to achieve and have had pressure put on them and have a deeply stressful 2 years during GCSE’s which has caused all kind of mental health problems . Teachers put enough pressure on the children, imagine going home and your parents putting the pressure on . I am a deep believer of you try your best and that is good enough . If you pressurise a child it might work, or it might explode in ways you don’t want to experience 🤷‍♀️

Does she have an idea of what she wants to do after school? What A levels she might want, or degree, or line of work? It might be nice to have a big range of high scores but ultimately meaningless if it doesn't correlate with her goals. No one at uni is going to care about her GCSEs, no one at work will care beyond her having maths and English.

Edit to add: even if she has aspirations of a top uni, GCSE will only be a part of demonstrating competency. It will all be about A level results and extra curriculars

Someone at a grammar school is capable of at least 7s and should be getting some 8s and 9s.

Why be proud of underachieving? Come year 10 and 11 DD should focus and study. This is a DD who is capable of 7s

I’m surprised they got into grammar school with those slightly above average IQ scores. How did you get their IQs as they may be inaccurate?

Exactly. ..
Especially in a world where AI means academic diligence and swotting are not going to be hugely valuable skills...