To think my Grammar School DD 2 with an IQ of 119 should be aiming for at least Grade 7's in all her GCSE subjects.

Poor kid. All I’m getting from those numbers is pressure, pressure, pressure.

Maybe she’s trying to manage your expectations now because she acutely aware how disappointed you will be if she doesn’t do well? Because this really does sound like a you problem rather than a her problem.

What is she currently doing in her 1hr20? Is it homework only or also revision? If it's just homework, I'd ease off on the supervision a bit but warn her she will have to face whatever consequences come at school for not doing homework or not doing it very well.

It sounds like she is not too of the class (absolutely fine, especially at a grammar school) and resents the hard work. There are probably others who are flying through work and getting top grades, and it's demoralising.

I went to a grammar school, albeit some time ago now. No way did I do 2 hours a night of work. I revised very hard for my actual exams, and did some reasonable revision for mocks and end of year exams. I would ease off on her now. You may need to encourage her to get her head down more later on, but don't make her burn out too early. She may also benefit from some support in 'study skills' to maximise her effort.

There is no way a bright child needs to be doing two hours of homework a night in Y9to secure high grades. I have a typically lazy DS17 who had to be nagged to do SOME. I don’t nag now - if he needs nagging at A level he won’t succeed in HE. I’ve seen plenty of those cases in over 30 years teaching in HE.

Mine got 9s and 8s. 9s in all key subjects. He probably did 30 minutes at best in Y9.

You sound like you are spending a lot of time and energy on this issue. My advice would be to back off. If she’s attending well and is bright she does not need this level of monitoring.

Both my girls are (were) at grammars and here’s the thing: it’s human nature to compare yourself to your direct cohort.

your DD will be surrounded by super bright girls and not realise they do not represent ‘normal’. She’ll place herself in the hierarchy based on what she sees. So she might feel average for her school which translates to a 5 in her mind (average).

your job is to give her a bit of perspective.

(also… the year 11 fear is real and she’ll ‘lock in’ then).

try not to worry or add to her stress levels. Grammar schools are pressure cooker places enough as it is!

I appreciate things might be a bit different now (I’m 41) but I went to a grammar school and that seems like a lot of homework for a year 9! I barely remember doing any until a-level. I crammed a bit for my GCSEs I think.

Hopefully you are venting to some extent here and you are a bit more chilled with your daughter.

What motivates her? Does she have a type of career in mind? Would she be disappointed if she had to leave her current school (and presumably her friends) for a-level? Is there a subject she enjoys particularly? What are her extra curricular activities?

Assume she passed the 11+ to get into a grammar school, or am I hideously out of date? Anyway, please stop pressuring her at this stage, let the poor child actually start her GCSE courses before you start panicking about her grades 🙄 I type this as someone who had very little confidence as a teenager,had very low expectations of myself and if my parents had started pressuring me and calling me lazy, it would probably have pushed me over the edge

I have some questions..

why do you know her IQ?

how do you expect your daughter to predict her exam grades from exams she has not even yet practiced?

why are you piling so much pressure on her, is this about you or her?

why are you surprised that a teenager does not relish the thought of doing 2 hours homework each night?

why do you seem to think extra pressure will result in better exam results?

is this post a humble brag?

I’m confused as to why any of this matters? Presumably she’s choosing her best subjects as her options, and then she has another eighteen months or so before we get to predicted grades?

This, and more of This

I think you need to chill out, take the pressure off.
From your posts you give pushy parent vibes and your daughter is probably struggling with that.

I think focussing on work ethic might be helpful. Being. Bright only gets you so far. Hard work is what will ensure success.

As a GS teacher I’d generalise and say students who say they’re ‘happy’ with 5s are either genuinely some of the happiest, comfortable with themselves, willing to work and see what happens but resilient to expectations. They often do better because they will work (and 1hr20 in y9 would be an absolutely brilliant work ethic - I’d say that’s probably too much considering hashes probably commuting a fair way)
or, they’re severely lacking in confidence because they feel like they’re ’at the bottom’ and have a distorted perception of themselves on a national scale. If she’s in this category shes probably had a few tests lower than your expectations and she’s struggling in a couple of subjects, which has a knock on (maths to sciences, English to humanities etc) and is starting to manage expectations of herself and those around her as a result of lacking confidence.

which do you think she is?

I'm a psychometrician (I design "iq" tests among others). I wouldn't be trusting the IQ scores or using them to guage educational attainment.

It sounds like she's trying to get you off her back. Maybe try easing off a bit and she might just take control of her own life a bit.

She hasn’t even started GCSEs. Why are you even talking about this now? You’re sounding very pushy and perhaps she is already trying to manage the pressure you are heaping on her

Psychologically, promoting results requires encouraging best effort along the way, not outcomes

I say back away tiger mum and stop worrying about GCSE grades when she’s not even started yr 10

I came on to say exactly this. It's so easy to feel stupid if you're not at the top of the class.

My daughter's Einstein. It never would have crossed my mind to get her IQ tested in a million years.

An IQ score is not really useful and it will not help anyone tell you what your daughter is capable of achieving at GCSE, because it's not something most people are tested for, it's notoriously unreliable, and it's not something schools use as a measure at all.

I teach in a girls' grammar school. Most of our students do get grades 7-9. Quite a few get a couple of lower grades in specific subjects they struggle with. We do have a few every year who get 5s or lower across the board, but this is usually due to either SEND (though most of our students with SEND do really well), poor absence (due to health or home issues) or persistent behaviour problems (rare).

The other reason can be that the student was heavily tutored to pass the 11+ and can't actually cope at grammar school. This often isn't fully apparent until Y9 or 10 when the work starts to get harder.

Your dd may well be theoretically capable of at least a 7 in dome subjects, but it doesn't sound as though that is a priority for her! Does she have any ide of jobs she'd like to do? That can be motivating.

If you have dyslexia and autism... I presume you have had had her tested? If she's intelligent, she may have masked so far, but now is starting to feel the strain?

How and where did you measure your children’s IQ?

She clearly gets it from her father's side..

I think you need to be focusing on what your DD wants out of her life. Because it is her life.

Does she want to go to the 6th form attached to her school or is there a different route she would prefer? Is she happier doing things rather than writing?

Grammar school, A Levels and uni aren't the only route into a good life. Not everyone, no matter how bright, is suited to the academic route or enjoys it.

Even to this day I have people telling me that I am good at certain things I can't stand, and because I'm good at it I should pursue it. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to do it if it makes you miserable.

Have a conversation about what she wants. Make sure she understands that her GCSEs will give her options but ultimately support her in what she wants from life rather than telling her she should be doing something just because she's able to.

I agree... I think they are like BMI only really good for individual results at the extreme ends, but otherwise they are more of a population level.. i.e. below average, average, above average, high.

My mum was measured in the 130's and she definately isn't above average.

My guess is that because she us at a selective school she has a skewed idea of ability range and what is needed for certain grades.
If they set and she is in lower sets, or if they don't set and she sees herself as being not as clever as many, she may just believe she is a grade 5 type child.
She just may have no idea what a broad range of ability there us below her.

So don't fuss at her. Encourage her she is bright enough to do well, and if she works steadily during y10&y11 she should do fine.

IQ tests are pretty meaningless. Mine was measured at 145 as a kid, I can tell you it's definitely not that.

If you're question is - why is she only aiming for Grade 5s instead of Grade 7s?

Instead of - based on the following metrics what should she be capable of?

It seems like the answer basically is you've put her under too much pressure and she's fed up with it, so she's told you she only wants to try for Grade 5s to stop you going on about how much work is required to get the grades you want her to get to go to 6th form.

It's pretty obvious she's likely to get greater than Grade 5s if she's at a Grammar with higher expectations and you're making her do loads of homework. So the problem obviously isn't one you can fix by giving the right performance metrics.

You're not asking the right question - the question is - why would she say that to you? She's either said it because someone has made it seem too hard to get Grade 7s so she thinks she can't do it, in which case it's a confidence issue. Or because you've put too much pressure on her and she's said it to shut you down and make you back off.

She clearly knows what your expectations of her are, she's at a grammar with high expectations, so I doubt the problem here is low expectations. It's much more likely to be related to being sick of everyone having high expectations and wanting them to back off, or feeling low self confidence if everyone has reiterated how much work they'll need to do to get the expected grades.

It's not actually that hard to get Grade 7s even in a bog standard state school.

It's Year 9, there's a huge transition between year 9 and year 11. You'd do well to back off a bit now and stop talking about expected performance and just tell her she can only do the best she can do - because that's true. Be supportive of who she feels she is - I want you to sit down and do your homework every evening and try your best, that might mean you get Grade 5s, but you might surprise yourself and do better.