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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Split from my partner today, aibu not letting him back in the house

65 replies

Daisychain67 · 30/01/2026 22:32

I have wrote a few posts on here the past couple of weeks regarding my relationship so won’t go into the full detail but I have finally left him and now he’s is being really cruel to me.

Not only have I been unhappy in my relationship but also my mum is currently in hospital for the foreseeable as she has been going through cancer treatment and other health issues and we’re not really sure what’s going on, my head has been absolutely all over the place.

My partner has gone out to the pub and is texting me and trying to call me arguing with me, calling me names, I’m a ‘rat’ apparently, he’s being really really nasty. I’ve told him I don’t want him to come back tonight because I’m really upset about my mum and can’t deal with arguing but he’s saying I will have to call the police if I want him out. Am I being unreasonable locking the door and making him find somewhere else to stay?

OP posts:
Raineys · 31/01/2026 09:38

I hope you called the police too.
Gather his shit together and leave it outside your door.
NEVER allow him entry again.

Happyjoe · 31/01/2026 09:19

Daisychain67 · 30/01/2026 23:07

I live in a council house which is in my name, he’s just been back trying to kick the door down

I hope you're ok @Daisychain67 and the police came. Hope you are safe, he sounds very unstable. Well done for making the right decision for you and all the best with your mum.

DeftWasp · 31/01/2026 08:39

The police can put him on an emergency DVPN which as far as I recall runs for 28 / 30 days and in that time can be upgraded to a potentially permanent DVPO if he breaks either he gets arrested.

Knitterofcrap · 31/01/2026 08:36

I hope you called the police @Daisychain67 and are safe?

Zonder · 31/01/2026 07:47

I hope the police came and that you're ok.

Makingadecision · 31/01/2026 07:05

Call the police

Flueton · 31/01/2026 06:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Lurleenlumpkin79 · 31/01/2026 06:10

Readytoplay · 31/01/2026 03:50

Just heads up, i doubt OP will return to this thread. They have a habit of staring threads and only returning for a single follow up each time.

Probably some bored kid having a bit of fun. 🙄

Milothebunny · 31/01/2026 05:53

Are you okay OP?

Readytoplay · 31/01/2026 03:50

Just heads up, i doubt OP will return to this thread. They have a habit of staring threads and only returning for a single follow up each time.

Spink86 · 31/01/2026 02:48

As well as hopefully having called the police, I would strongly advise contacting your housing provider. They usually have a domestic violence support worker who will be able to help you by changing the locks and providing things to make you feel more secure eg a video doorbell.

Andouillette · 31/01/2026 01:41

OP please let us know that you are OK.

silverwrath · 31/01/2026 01:09

Daisychain67 · 30/01/2026 23:07

I live in a council house which is in my name, he’s just been back trying to kick the door down

Police. Now. Please don't hesitate.

Take out a restraining order asap. Change the locks.

And block the prick.

Get this oxygen thief out of your life. You deserve better.

Hope your Mum gets home soon. 🌸

WillHeEverStop · 31/01/2026 00:43

@Daisychain67 , how are you now? Has he left?

Paramaribo2025 · 31/01/2026 00:42

Why aren't you calling the police?

TeaAndTattoos · 31/01/2026 00:33

Call the police he’s being violent he has no right to be in the house when it’s solely in your name and the police will tell him the same thing.

Bananalanacake · 31/01/2026 00:14

He's a partner not a husband. Did he pay towards rent and bills. If his name isn't on the tenancy he has no right to be there.

Catladywithacat · 31/01/2026 00:14

Just call police and get rid of him for good

Endofyear · 31/01/2026 00:08

I hope you have called the police and told them you are in immediate danger. Don't let him come in and don't take him back when he does the inevitable crying/apology/saying how much he loves you!

whynotwhatknot · 31/01/2026 00:00

nope do not let him in call the police-he has no rights

FuzzyWolf · 30/01/2026 23:43

If he doesn’t have the legal right to be in the house then YANBU.

CactusSwoonedEnding · 30/01/2026 23:43

House in your name = he has no right to enter the property and yes you should call the police if he doesn't leave you alone.

coconutpie · 30/01/2026 23:27

Call the police now.

Tangelablue · 30/01/2026 23:25

Once the police have been and dealt with your ex, it might be a good idea to look into getting a non molestation order. NCDV will be able to help.
Hopefully the police will give him bail conditions so he can't come near your home.

44PumpLane · 30/01/2026 23:16

If his name is not on the tenancy then it is your home only- call the police immediately as he is being violent.