violence against girls in primary school

Well our ( Ofsted outstanding) school certainly doesn't so brace yourself . I'll get my tin hat on but the " boys will be boys" shit is still alive and kicking sadly, and in my opinion is 100% of the problem.

Yanbu. Been through all of this; my DD had her arm broken by being thrown across the playground by a boy with a history of aggressive behaviour. School were less than pathetic. Very depressing.

Honestly i just feel for you.

I was talking to my dh about it today.
Dd is starting school next year and this is the sort of shit that concerns me.

This is not normal behaviour by the boys

Just be relentless with school twats and stay talking to her. 💕

My son is year 4 and would never dream of this, towards either boys or girls. I would expect a school to take it very seriously at that age.

Just so you know, 10 is the minimum age of criminal liability. I would be informing the police given the school are so hopeless, especially for the strangulation.

My son was attacked in the classroom. Blood splattered over his shirt. Teacher present. Boys will be boys the macho head teacher said.

Disgusting, cowardly grown man. You and I know very well that, if another grown adult randomly attacked him in this way, he would be petrified, probably foul himself and be expecting everybody to show him compassion about his trauma and the authorities to do something about it.

As we so often hear in schools and workplaces, the reason that the people in charge don't do anything whatsoever to stop bullying is because they are bullies too.

Year 5 is aged 9 to 10

Police
Safeguarding lead
HT

Using another (true and sadly not an isolated incident)example boy tells girl “do x or I’ll rape you!”. That doesn’t make him a sex offender and I’m not suggesting that the book should be thrown at him. It also shouldn’t be dismissed as “he doesn’t even know what it means”. He probably didn’t, but he knew enough to know it’s bad, that it can be used against a girl (and only against a girl) and that it’s bad enough to be considered a threat to get her to do what he wanted her to. There’s none of that thought process in most in most schools or parents though , it stops at “he didn’t know what he was saying” and “you can’t say that because it’s really , really bad”. The same excuse flies at 7 too and at 9 and at 11. Sometimes even handed on a platter. “Do you even know what rape means?No. Oh ok then.” Problem saved.Not good enough, and I say that as a parent and school staff.

YEAR 5 not age 5. They are aged 9-10. They definitely know better.

Year 4/5 was exactly when ‘junior misogyny’ started to show itself IME.

I’d want a meeting with the teacher and someone from the SLT, a thorough discussion of their bullying and discipline policies and escalation approaches. Then head then governors. Not unreasonable to think about reporting assaults to the police, if school cannot deal with them.

The fact that there are 3 different boys that have done it indicates that there is a behaviour management problem in the school.

"Honestly, it shouldn’t , because that’s how you end up with older boys thinking this is ok."

I think at 5 it can be viewed as the boys are still learning although obviously still needs dealing with. At 10 significant SN aside, they know that it isn't ok.

I’m not saying it shouldn’t be addressed in 5yos - if they’d been 5 I would still find the school’s response lacking.

At age 9/10 in Y5 I do think it is more serious though and it’s more reasonable for OP to consider the gendered element of this - at this age they should be better able to regulate and I generally playground dynamics are significantly more gendered at this age. I think a 5yo would be fairly indiscriminate in lashing out at another child regardless of their gender. By 9/10 I think that is less true.

That is absolutely outrageous- I would be on to the head and governors asap and firmly telling them their response here is completely unacceptable and that you will be considering all your options.

Does you school have any cctv or cameras that might have recorded these incidents? I would ask and if so demand to see them / get copies.

Your child shouldn’t have to face serious assault (hands around neck - are you kidding me!!!!) at school, they have a duty of care to take this seriously.

I wouldn’t stop until there was a decent resolution or if that fails to materialise, move her to a different school.

How are these incidents happening?
Where are they happening?
If its such small school, how is no one seeing it?
Have her friends reported it?
What happened when dd goes to the teacher extremely.upset?

Echoing the others who have recommended a martial arts. When ds1 was being bullied by a much bigger lad, we spoke to the school who were supportive but we enrolled him too. He never had to use his new found skills, and the instructors stressed that they were only for self defence but they gave him a huge sense of confidence, and he was no longer afraid to go to school. He knew that he could deflect and dodge a blow, but actually the bullying stopped, probably because of his new found confidence.

I have a 5 yo in reception too. If she was ever punched in the face by another child I’d be marching into the head’s office and demanding serious action be taken immediately. No way would I allow her to continue being put at risk. You need to do something about this immediately OP

Have you not been the school about this? Why not? No it’s not normal. You need to see the safeguarding lead and the head to find out what is going. Have you seen the anti bullying policy? Is it being applied? I had to do this, it was girl on girl. It’s not a boy thing only.

My son was attacked in the classroom. Blood splattered over his shirt. Teacher present. Boys will be boys the macho head teacher said. Along with telling me that this thug wasn’t the worst. I phoned the Council and asked them if they knew where my son was at that moment in time. He was in the hospital. Then I wrote to them telling them that they have a “duty of care”. I also told them that no one in the local area would be unaware of what’s happening in that school if it ever happened again. I got letters from their legal dept telling me to refrain from constantly mentioning the pupils name in letters to the council! I replied repeating that their council failures would be in full public view if my son was assaulted again. They reminded me I worked for the Council, (the Head Teacher knew me) I said not this one. It’s infuriating when blatant bullying and assault is seen as typical kids stuff. We did get the police and tbh I wasnt impressed with them as they started questioning where the bully stood and where my son was standing as if the story didn’t make sense. Social worker phoned us to discuss mediation. I brought down my sons blood stained shirt and I said no mediation. I want it on his record. She left. No further issues though I don’t know what happened with the thug, he disappeared.

Embarrass them or threaten to. Mention duty of care and safeguarding at every opportunity. Involve them with every organisation that even remotely oversees them. Social services over the boys obvious experience of violence in the home. Tell them you are going to do it. They need to be wary of you, very wary.

Let me preface this by saying this is totally unacceptable.

However - do you know for certain that all the school has done is call in one set of parents?

If this child has an EHCP, the school is woefully limited in the sanctions they can enforce. As SLT in a primary school, I am regularly pulling out my hair over this.

Check the website for the school’s complaints policy and follow what it says. If you go straight to the Governors, you’re likely missing some steps. This needs addressing but it’s best to follow the procedure, you’ll get results faster.

Good luck and I’m glad you’re standing up for your DD.

Year 5. Ie 10 year olds.

This level of violence is sadly normal in our school (2 very aggressive boys), although as far as I’m aware it’s boys that get attacked, but school act much more proactively than you describe with temporary exclusions. There should be a stronger response going on.