I'm of late middle age, retired with adequate funds, live alone and have very few responsibilities. But I have problems with anxiety and sorrow, which tend to be getting worse with age.
Trying to enjoy my last years creatively, and making some progress on that front, but I must admit I'm finding the alcohol a very mixed blessing indeed.
When I do drink - which is not every day - I don't mess about. A drinking day & night usually means the equivalent of a full bottle of spirits (20-25 standard drinks) usually as wine and fortified wine, but often involving whisky, gin, beer and cider.
I drink alone and I love the mellow feeling. My aim on these designated days/nights is to push all worry and tears aside, and achieve a certain timeless contentment while enjoying reading and cosy web-surfing, either in my study at the computer, or at other times in an armchair in the living room with a collection of books.
Occasionally I'll sit at the harmonium and sing some of my own songs. Occasionally I'll watch old films or old telly on DVD or YouTube. Sometimes I'll go to the moon or Mars or outer limits of the universe.
But all the while, I'll be aware that this drinking is not doing me any good physically, however much it may seem to augment my enjoyment of life.
It's also making it increasingly difficult to engage the creative side of my life, as each binge on the booze takes a day or two of recovery before I can get back into creative projects. And my time on those endeavours shrinks as the next drinking splurge arrives.
And perhaps most disturbingly, the range of experiences I can "allow myself" to relax and do, without the relaxant of alcohol, also keeps shrinking. Reading fiction, watching films and similar activities, all now seem to require drinking to be enjoyed. When sober, I'm increasingly just playing solitaire and other simple repetitive activities, to keep the sorrows at bay.
I'm sure many other people have found themselves stuck in this relationship with the drink. Looking for some advice from those who've managed to sensibly cut down, or indeed give it up entirely, and what techniques and approaches they found helpful.
YABU - Just go with the flow, your life will see itself out comfortably enough.
YANBU - Get a grip on the booze, you still have much to offer yourself and the world.