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AIBU?

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DH constantly working on paternity leave

154 replies

Crawdadsunite · 30/01/2026 14:38

AIBU to resent this? DH has got extended leave as I’ve given up some maternity leave so he can be off helping me whilst I recover. We have got two other DCs 5 and 2. He is 5 weeks into the 10 weeks and has so far spend the equivalent of about 5 or 6 working days, working? He isn’t logging them as KIT days as ‘oh it won’t get signed off and it’s extra work not essential’. So there’s no benefit to the family whatsoever. Yes he helps with the older DC and he’s mainly working when they’re at school and nursery, but it’s driving me nuts as he could be using that time to help clean or tidy or just spend time with us?

I had a difficult birth and recovery. I still need more surgery due to complications. Ive not been very mobile for a while. I’ve had quite a few hospital appointments and last week had to come home on the train from one (took 2 hours door to door inc bus from hospital to station and walk home) because he had agreed to join a teams calls in the afternoon?

AIBU about this?

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 30/01/2026 15:26

Id have the new patio laid by now. He is on leave. He is being unreasonable. His work is being unreasonable (and quite possibly breaking a law around contact while on leave but I cba googling that just now).

BudgetBuster · 30/01/2026 15:23

You are absolutely not being unreasonable.
I could understand maybe an hour a week to keep on top of emails or something but he is on Paternity Leave.... a protected leave! It doesn't matter if the older kids are in school, he could be meal prepping, cleaning, getting you to & from appointments, feeding and changing the baby while you get some rest.

By the time he goes back, he will have done about 2 weeks work whilst on Paternity leave. Why?

Cupboarddoorknob · 30/01/2026 15:18

Lmnop22 · 30/01/2026 15:16

YABU about he doing a bit of work whilst off to keep things ticking over if it really is 1 day per week (ish).

YANBU about being apoplectic that he allowed you to get a two hour journey home from the hospital though!!

Agree with this I’d have gone nuclear re the travel

Lmnop22 · 30/01/2026 15:16

YABU about he doing a bit of work whilst off to keep things ticking over if it really is 1 day per week (ish).

YANBU about being apoplectic that he allowed you to get a two hour journey home from the hospital though!!

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