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Original poster

Bitchy e-mail re fertility rates for older women

112 replies

Jude03 · 30/01/2026 12:53

AIBU to feel upset after receiving an e-mail from a friend - who thought it would be "helpful" to send some data on declining fertility rates for women... for me to give my 40 year old daughter ?! This, from a woman who herself has two similarly aged sons, neither of whom have ever had a girlfriend and still live at home. My DD has been in long-term relationship and for all I know, does not want to have children - but in any event surely this is none of my business.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 30/01/2026 13:39

I'd print her off some leaflet on the crapness of male sperm after a certain age. Also maybe any data you can find regarding the overlap of psychopathy with unmarried males over 40 (make the stats up if you have to). Grin

PurpleVine · 30/01/2026 13:34

5128gap · 30/01/2026 13:30

"Hi Marjorie. Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean? Did you want to discuss fertility with my DD? Because she's not a doctor, and you're 73, so its fair to say that horse has bolted, so I'm not sure how she could help you?"

haha I'd go with this.

Alwaysontherun · 30/01/2026 13:34

TheInkIsBlackThePageIsWhite · 30/01/2026 13:02

Message back and tell her that you've wanted to send her something for her sons and send her an article about men with Mummy issues, and block her.

This!!

ScreamingInfidelities · 30/01/2026 13:34

Send her this article about ‘failure to launch’ since both her sons don’t seem to be independent adults

www.verywellmind.com/overcoming-failure-to-launch-syndrome-8405065

FlowerFairyDaisy · 30/01/2026 13:32

That's so rude, is she a bit thick?

boobaaaa · 30/01/2026 13:32

Wow, what a dick.

LadeOde · 30/01/2026 13:30

I said you YABU for giving such a stupid email any headspace and for not telling your 'friend', to never ever poke her nose in your DD's private life again.

5128gap · 30/01/2026 13:30

"Hi Marjorie. Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean? Did you want to discuss fertility with my DD? Because she's not a doctor, and you're 73, so its fair to say that horse has bolted, so I'm not sure how she could help you?"

SummerInSun · 30/01/2026 13:29

I don’t understand why some people seem to think that women don’t already know this?! You’d have to be living under a rock as a youngish women theses days not to be aware that your fertility falls as you age and really really falls after 40. It’s not new helpful important information to share, it’s like saying to a smoker “OMG I’ve just found out that smoking can give you lung cancer”.

Comtesse · 30/01/2026 13:28

What a cheeky cow! Is she a friend or more of a frenemy?

Moonlightdust · 30/01/2026 13:26

TheCompactPussycat · 30/01/2026 13:17

Does she think that your DD is so desperate for a baby that she'll take one of her sons off her hands?

Reply and say it's nobody's business but your DD's but you think she and her partner have probably decided against having children because they don't want to be saddled with grown up children still living at home in their 40s.

This 👆

JoshLymanSwagger · 30/01/2026 13:25

Send her details of Erectile Dysfunction for her to pass on to her sons...

Mcdhotchoc · 30/01/2026 13:24

Wtf?
I have 3 adult daughters. As fully capable adults they already understand about fertility and know that their sole obligation is to have a happy and fulfilled life. That may or may not include kids.
Email her back and say I have no idea why you would think that any woman would not know this or why you think I would share this with my daughter.

HisNotHes · 30/01/2026 13:24

Moveoverdarlin · 30/01/2026 12:57

I would reply ‘why have you sent me this?’

It’s beyond rude.

This. Make her explain herself and squirm.

If she does try to justify it, suggest she concentrates on her own adult children instead.

7238SM · 30/01/2026 13:23

Or send an article about slobbish men in their 40's still living at home.

Bloodycrossstitch · 30/01/2026 13:21

Coffeeandbooks88 · 30/01/2026 13:08

Send an email about the deteriorating sperm quality for men over forty and see what she says.

This was going to be my suggestion too

lottiegarbanzo · 30/01/2026 13:19

I think you’ve answered your own question. She’s sad her sons won’t give her grandchildren and is projecting that sadness onto you.

An empathetic response would be sympathy for her situation.

TheCompactPussycat · 30/01/2026 13:17

Does she think that your DD is so desperate for a baby that she'll take one of her sons off her hands?

Reply and say it's nobody's business but your DD's but you think she and her partner have probably decided against having children because they don't want to be saddled with grown up children still living at home in their 40s.

Dayaftertraitors · 30/01/2026 13:15

Well, did this follow on from a conversation you'd had with her, that might make her think you'd be interested? Otherwise it's very inappropriate

PotterHead1985 · 30/01/2026 13:13

Jesus serious overstepping there. I'd like to say i would take the high road and just bin it without saying something, but I am petty af so I would probably send her one of the things pp mentioned re her son's!!

BudgetBuster · 30/01/2026 13:12

I'd email her back with a list of local fertility clinics considering she is worried about her declining fertility.

SENmumof22026 · 30/01/2026 13:12

If shes got to 40 without kids its very likely she doesn’t want kids. I would tell her to fuck off and focus on her own children.

JustMyView13 · 30/01/2026 13:11

Email her back, thank her and let her know you passed it on to your DD, but they replied and suggested your friend keep her beak out of their business. Suggest you're unclear what they meant by that, but are happy to pass the message along to your friend.

crossedlines · 30/01/2026 13:11

Katrinawaves · 30/01/2026 13:07

I’d email back and say “i take the view that this is none of my business. It’s certainly none of yours” and leave it at that.

This.
and I’d secretly think she’s envious of you as she doesn’t have daughters!

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