To find H's tiredness unattractive

I was getting annoyed with my husband last year for this and it turned out his iron was very very low and he had been bleeding from a large growth in his colon for around a year. Only found out due to blood tests for something else. Definitely worth getting checked out!

He sounds very hard to be attracted to

Op it could be a combination of things but getting the kids to get him food etc is out of order.

i get really lethargic this time of year,lack of sunlight in general,shit weather,and I can be my own worst enemy in that I don’t drink enough water and eat shit and I then feel like shit

could this be what he’s doing?

when your in a bit of a funk it’s hard to get out of it so a good blood check would help as if he’s deficient in anything that would also explain it.

it could also be an underlying issue which is always good to get checked but tell him to grow up and be an adult by going to the gp and being pro active about it.

leave him on the sofa and go do your own thing thing but tell him that’s what your doing and tell him you feel like he’s checking out of general life and it’s pissing you off.

I don’t agree with the poster upthread saying could be your hormones etc because that’s kind of reflecting it bak in you.

every now and then I get annoyed at dh lack of get up and go and it causes resentment.

I can bet your the one doing the mentsl
load of family life while he’s checked out for a minute?

well tell him that’s ok because your going to check out soon and he can deal with the it all.

and remind him your partners and meant to be on the same responsibility level,him not doing anything about it will def give you the ick

True story- I worked with someone who became so lazy he would doze off at his desk. He was suspended and was once seen shopping with dried food around his mouth and stains on his clothes. His wife was pretty disgusted with him. He died of a brain tumor and he was aged just 43.

Crikey, I was running around after a three year old at his age!

So I would get him to have some health checks. I went through a stage of being very tired in my 30s which used to annoy my then partner, but it turned out I wasn’t at all well.

When? Like how long for it to pass?

I would definitely ask him to go and get some blood tests to rule out anything medical.

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice. When I was at my worst post covid ( and I had a ton of issues) I often used to get up in middle of night and go down , make tea and scroll on my phone. My h used to get really agitated about it , so in the end I did the spare room thing till I started improving

Blood test might give some answers.

My DP is like this - he's overweight and wonders why he's always tired 🙄

Get a hobby or two op and leave him on the sofa

Blood test, first thing to do. But good luck getting him to the GP..

Is he unfit? Thats quite unattractive

If he won’t go to the doctor it’s on him

47 isn’t old - mid 80s perhaps

Would you mind explaining what peri menopause is ... im in my sixties and haven't a clue

Get his bloods checked!

Sorry OP, I got as far as ‘gaming; in your first post and though, here we go again. I may be wrong but I see this so frequently.

Try to get him to a professional but if he won’t grow up, get rid is my suggestion.

I've got the ick on your behalf

My partner can get a lot of hiccups and make noises, it's usually a sign that he's eaten something he's allergic to, usually celery as it's in a lot of things in small amounts. He's also got Barratts oesophagus which doesn't help.

47 isn't that old to be feeling tired all the time and some medical conditions creep up on you slowly so it can seem like it's just aging. He needs a proper check up at the GP and also to look at whether he needs to make some dietary changes. If he needs to take antiacids on a regular basis this can also be a sign of a medical condition needing treatment.

Why does he keep saying he is old? He's in his 40s! He does need to see the GP, just to have his iron, Vit D, thyroid etc checked.

If he is very indoorsy, his vitamin D levels could be way too low in UK at this time of year. Buy some Vitamin D tablets or spray and encourage him to try them.

I wish you would have mentioned if this was new behavior, or long-standing.

Have you told him tartly that it's unattractive? (And unmasculine!) Try telling him that he has a choice between a G.P. or a marriage counselor.

And, hey, start going out at night with friends of your own. Or even by yourself - go to a movie. Or join a group of some kind. And then when you get back, enthuse about how much you enjoyed it.

He sounds similar to my ex!
Just a cloud of misery dragging everyone else into his pit of doom.....
It doesn't get any better unfortunately OP. Ask yourself if you can go another 35-40 years living with such negativity which WILL only get progressively worse especially if hes diagnosed with a chronic illness.
I left running and didn't look back. Best live decision i ever made!!!

When was his last FIT test?

youre in perimenopause- you hate everything about him now

i’m 43, same boat, apparently it passes if you don’t divorce them first