Is this cheating, would you forgive this?

Most likely she could accept some touching from someone who doesn't mentally undress women that he meets at work, and give one and all a running commentary about his views on what he is imagining.

It's easy to be wise after the event, but had you known what he is like, you wouldn't have touched him with a barge pole. That doesn't mean that you have to honour the mistake for the rest of your life.

The clincher is his lack of remorse. He doesn't see why what he was doing is wrong. Stitched up? Ridiculous!

Men like this always do. Never their fault, can't see the problem. I'm new to this thread but he sounds as though he's reliving The Sweeney in about 1973.

@Happyjoe acceptable, no (I didn't say it was). Accepted- yes. That's whats changed- and what I would like to think long-standing colleagues or managers would have raised if someone was slower on the uptake prior to this incident.

@Meg878o
I think you need to look at this slightly differently.
Can you bring your children up supporting a man who sees nothing wrong with sexually objectifying women.

Ugh. And you are married to this sleaze-bag who sexually objectifies and harasses women and clearly has no respect? I’d be embarrassed and horrified. This won’t be the first time he’s done this, just the first time he’s had no choice but to tell you - and well done to his ex employer for dealing with it properly. Get some self respect of your own and ditch this unpleasant loser.

Grim. Like others I’m surprised there wasn’t a warning etc first. Have you actually seen the paperwork?

I also did bar work in the 90s and can't say I enjoyed men guessing my bra size or trying to feel me up while I was collecting glasses then, either. We all still thought they were pervy pricks.

OP - clearly this isn't a one-off for your husband to have been sacked for it. He's got a history of inappropriate and misogynistic behaviour. It may not technically be 'cheating' but do you want to be with a man who's constantly eyeing up other women and can't hold down a job because of it? He sounds like a massive loser.

Do you have daughters, Op? Because if you do that's what he's going to be thinking about their friends as they get older.

If this is genuinely completely out of character and is a recent change, isn’t it worth him visiting the GP before making any decisions? He could obviously just be a massive lech but I would ask him to check there’s not some other signs of prefrontal cortex damage or something going on.
is he doing anything else out of character?

I’m amazed that anyone living in this century thinks that kind of talk and behaviour is okay in the workplace. He must be pretty dumb, as well as creepy. I wouldn’t call it cheating though, if that matters.

Why will they never know the details? You’re taking a bullet for him to the point where it will affect the relationship you have with your kids? Tell them EXACTLY why you’ve ended it in an age appropriate way. If they’re teens I wouldn’t sugar coat it at all. Your sons need to know this is gross behaviour and your daughters need to know it’s never acceptable to be treated like this

This. If they are tweens/teens I’d tell them exactly why. Then your son will know this is NOT lads banter but something that society, workplaces and yourself find unacceptable, and your daughter will know it’s not lads banter and not to stand for this in her life. I wouldn’t cover for him.

I'd not say it's cheating but it's reprehensible and reflects a poor character. It's disgusting in a work place. What a scummy thing to do. Gross. And what a twat. He's let you down by losing his job anyway but do to it by being disrespectful and stupid and probably making women feel uncomfortable in work is beyond grim.

Sometimes it can take therapy to see what's wrong.
We use therapy in AA, gambling, all sorts of ways and it can be a learning experience.
I doubt the OP's hubby will do this though because he feels like he's done nothing wrong.

It is not ok to touch people uninvited, it's not ok to sexually harass, make lewd comments, it never has been by and large... to women. Minefield my arse. It's never been acceptable.

He's a horrible misogynistic sex pest, I don't think a bit of counselling is going to change him and stop the OP being repulsed by him.

If it was my marriage, I would end it. And, fwiw, it's not your behaviour that's caused this - it's his.

It's not cheating, just vile. Is this really a surprise to you? I’d be surprised if you’ve never seen behaviour like this from him before.

Well my dh wouldn’t do that. So if he did that he then wouldn’t be the person I know, if that makes sense? It would be over for me.

Much worse than cheating.

Cheating or not cheating.

Who cares? Your husband is a sex pest.

Up to you whether or not you want to be married to one.

He has put your family's income at risk. In 15 years this won't be the first woman he's harassed. He is refusing to take responsibility and he's risking his family life.

This is on him.

Ultimately it's your decision, but your gut is telling you what you need to know. I'm so sorry he has done this to you and your family.

What a revolting piece of shit you are married to OP. He probably talks about you in that manner to his mates too.
Like a slab of meat.

I dont know why your obsessing over whether this is cheating? That's irrelevant.

When I first started my career 30 years ago, yes this sort of thing was part & parcel and generally accepted, but rightly so, times have changed. This behaviour is not acceptable now, nor should it be.

I work in a very male dominated environment, following a restructure I had a new direct report and when we were out at lunch one day, this young woman disclosed inappropriate behaviour from her former line manger.
Sounds very similar to this, sexist comments, overly familiar, 'tactile' etc.
We went through disciplinary, he denied any wrong doing, citing 'its just the way he is', 'he's always been like this', 'its her fault for taking offence'. It caused quite a rift in the team with the old guard saying that's just 'John', he's always been a bit pervy.
Rightly so, the business took it seriously, too many instances for a warning so were going to sack him, but he resigned first.

For your husband to be sacked there must have been a pattern of behaviour, more than one incident.

I find it hard to believe hes not like this outside of work, if he's not then that would indicate he knows its wrong, which makes it worse.
If you're still struggling, think of your daughter and how would you feel if this happened to her at work?

To the poster inferring he was unlucky enough to say it to the 'wrong person', shame on you. That kind of attitude is why this behaviour is still happening

I don't think its cheating. I did bar work in the nineties and it was a very different world to the one we live in now, and I do think a lot of men especially have been "left behind", its a shame no-one in his workplace stepped in informally before it got to this, and suggested he modernise his approach to communication (for want of a better phrase).

Honestly, I have to consciously check my behaviour, it feels natural to me to be more tactile than say, to my Gen Z kids who would absolutely not touch another person in conversation.

I suspect I will be flamed but I do think the world you grew up in is so very different if you are 20, 40 or 60 now the workplace can be an absolute minefield.

Sadly you'll be teaching them that this behaviour is acceptable if you stay. Would he try therapy?
You're in a difficult position through no fault of your own, I do sympathise. But what he has done will never be ok, esp as he is in denial. How will he ever improve if he doesn't think he did anything wrong, despite losing his job over it?

Lots of posters on here very keen to end a strangers' marriage. Take a look at yourselves Little Miss Perfects. You're not very nice people, who don't say very nice things too.
This sounds like something from the 1960s, when this behaviour was normal. Depending on his age, he should have been taught appropriate behaviour in PSHE at school. Not sure if workplaces have appropriate behaviour training. I think Adults are expected to know how to behave.
This behaviour was also an abuse of power. He was a manager, several years older than the young girl who complained.
This can't have been his first offence at work. He should have had verbal warnings and several written warnings before dismissal.
Is he a good dad? Were you happy before this incident?
A lot of posters on mn are very drippy women, don't be one of them. Assert your authority. Sit him down and give him a stern talking to. Lay down the law. Tell him to get another job, not an easy thing to do. Tell him his behaviour has got to improve, or else. Tell him male chauvinist pigs became extinct in the 1970s. He's got to get into the 2020s. (Surely a male friend should have told him all this before now).
Consider counselling. This is a 2 way street, you both take part. You both need to discuss why he behaves like this and the effect it is having on your marriage and family.
If none of this works then it is time to end your relationship.