Is this messy or normal?

I have ADHD and I also cannot cope with clutter. It makes me feel agitated.

It's not though. Putting it in a container is controlling, and it's very inconvenient for her DH. If you're lying in bed and need to reach for a book, the last thing you need is to have to sit up, open a container, and dig down for the book that's bound to be at the bottom.

For goodness sake, this is the one tiny space on the house that's 'his' not to worry about. He accommodates OP 's quirk in every other part of the house. He does NOT deserve to have her dictating this bedside table arrangements.

I have doom piles. I have to have piles because if I cant see it then its stops existing

It would be like ripping out my soul and stamping on it to make me live in a room like that.

Tidy isn't necessarily superior op. Perhaps try entertaining some other attitudes towards "clutter."

I’m very tidy but personally I’d consider that a very small pile, YABU, sorry.

My partner is like you (ADHD, past trauma with clutter and chaos) and everything bothers him. It can be very difficult even to the tidiest of partners.

I wouldn’t like this either OP. At the very minimum I’d be shoving it in a drawer so it was out of sight

But that’s not neater? It’s just hidden but harder to access and see properly.

I did say "he" not the OP . My point (obviously badly made ) was people have different things which irritate them and , with discussion , most things can reach a compromise with willing on both sides. I wasn't advocating controlling bollocks.

If it was on kitchen table or on a chair it would get in the way and be messy. On a bedside table I’m ok with that. Also does the reading light have a “place” and is antacid there because it is used fairly often so convenient?

I'm feeling very sorry for a lot of partners who don't seem to be being allowed to live normal lives in their own home.

Not allowed to keep what they want on their own bedside table? On what planet is that fair?

I would find that messy personally, I don't think there is a need for that many things to be on a bedside table.
Everything I own has a 'home' that is out of sight.

I however am pedantic when it comes to tidiness (too much I think and wish I could relax).

My husband is a bit like yours and I am starting to learn to live with it as it is my problem, not his

I think the tidiness in ADHD might be something else but I won’t digress. That’s not what you asked.
have you considered the accommodations and adjustments DH might make for your ADHD? Perhaps he doesn’t make any, perhaps he makes loads.

sometimes you need to learn to accept others or make accommodations for them like they do for you. Especially if it’s something small like this. Live and let live… Balance… tolerance …. However you want to package it.

Bless you OP, good self awareness x

Oh pardon me. 🤣

I meant that anyone used to filing by what the contents are and into separate folders would find it a complete mess IF they opened the drawer.

Blimey, that's tidy for me. But I have ADHD so.....I dont think you have ADHD. OCD maybe.

You literally said the drawer is a complete mess.

Make up your mind.

Personally I think it’s not your business - a bedside table is a persons individual space. That’s your husbands space, you don’t have to deal with it, look at it, sort through it or think about it.

It’s not your space to interact with.

I couldn't bare that op. One book I could cope with, but not a pile messily stacked & cables too. I have to admit I'm a neat freak & can be controlling.
In addition to this I do all the dusting, so this would annoy me immensley.

That one is 13 litres, but they do smaller ones and one bigger at 21litres. The largest is only £6

Of course it's tidy, it can't be seen, it's all in one place in one stack and I know what's in it. It's even organised, by date. It's not an efficient filing system to retrieve things from but it's very efficient for filing things away.

I don't have any mess. I'm obsessive about throwing away bits of paper that aren't needed any more so they can't build up as clutter.

Oh wow that is nothing
Also I would hate it if people kept.pu5ting my stuff away.

Even if it looks messy everything is organised in its own way and I know where everything.

Nothing worse than going to get something and it's not where I left it.

You sound very uptight. Living with you must be fun.

@MessOrNotMess I think it looks messy and I'd want to tidy it, but once I start, I'm not good at stopping even when I'm in pain, so you have my sympathy.

It's good that you recognise this, though.

A nice storage box would help as a pp said. That's what I do.

Something like this from Dunelm.... comes in different colours and sizes, too.

If my DP told me remove the 'clutter' from my own bedside table I'd tell him to get stuffed!

It's a pile of reading matter and a pill packet, and it's HIS bedside table, not yours. You need to get some perspective.

Ah. So now I understand these photos of absolute pigsties in the press/on social media. I couldn't fathom how people live like that. How does it happen?

Little by little, it seems. Most of the comms here say this pic is 'fine' and 'not messy'. Jeez. It's messy, obviously, all that crap on the table, it looks shit. How difficult is it to take a book/magazine, read it and put it in the bookshelf? Medicine in the nightstand drawer? And leave the nightstand looking neat, empty and clean with only a lamp on?

All the miscellaneous crap like reading light, glasses, meds, tv remote and whatever goes in the nightstand drawers.