Is this messy or normal?

Mine is a lot worse than that: three books, a notebook and pen, bedside lamp, little tray for drinks, dish with earrings in, reel of dental tape, nail file. I didn’t realise this was excessive!

You are being unreasonable because he is reading a very cool vintage DC comic book there…

But they are her husbands books and crap on his table on his side of the bed, you don't need to be recycling or moving his books because it doesn't suit your room asthetic.leave it alone😀

Some of the "magazines" look like comics in poly bags so are probably collectors items and he'd be devastated if she popped them in the recycling!

I’d take the magazines out and put them downstairs or in the recycling if not wanted. Then I’d make a neat pile of the books in size order and make sure they were stacked neatly if they MUST be on the bedside table. I’d put the packet of whatever and the reading light into a drawer of the bedside cabinet. I couldn’t sleep knowing that mess was there (I need help don’t I) x

I wouldn't love it, its obvious it isn't all getting read its just sitting there until he deals with it. One or two items of reading materials on the bedside at a time and medications go in the drawer.

My DH keeps every receipt for everything for ages he has a massive box in his wardrobe going back about 6 years. Its not out in the open but at this point he's never going to go back though it. He should just keep them for the month then check them then chuck them out. At this rate he is going to be like his uncle when we cleared his house a few years ago he had old boxes everywhere stuffed with various receipts and paperwork going back to the 1950's. There was no need for it. Hoarder tendencies.

That would piss me off. I’d be putting it in a wicker basket so I didn’t have to look at it. But I am a tidy freak myself

Although I have learned that some spots are for his piles

And I have my own pile - although out of sight mostly

and thank you for posting as it helps me understand it’s not jus me who feels twitchy at such things

Can you straighten the pile at least ?

I think he is allowed his space and should be able to keep that space how he likes it.

To me, separate spaces you are "allowed" to keep as you like, are essential to make co-habitation tolerable.

I suppose if your husband isn't bothered about being told to tidy it up, and you would prefer it today, then that's ok.

Only you know how you are likely to make him feel.

Sorry buy you have issues. What does your bedside table look like?

Chuck in 3 mugs and a water bottle then you've got my OH's bedside table.

I used to take mugs etc down to kitchen but flat out refuse now.

It's a little messy, but its his mess, contained to his bedside table. If you can't make a mess on your own bedside table, then where can you?

Hmm nope i think this would bug me, but only because its not very neatly stacked lol i would probably just organise the books a bit neater and put the meds away but we have little ones, so meds being out is a big no no.

I mean I wouldn’t have it on my bedside table. But it’s not that bad really. If it’s been growing since Christmas what happens when you want to clean or him if he cleans. Just move it wipe and put it all back? That’s a pain surely.

You'd die of stress looking at mine. It has a stack of about ten books, my diary, a few snowdrops in a water glass, a bottle of lavender oil, my airpods, a pen, a postcard of a painting I like, a couple of hair elastics.

I'm extremely tidy and hate lots of clutter but I think that's fine.

Maybe the top drawer of the bedside cabinet - so accessible but neater. But obviously I don't know the set up 😊

Exactly!

That is nothing!!! I have a lamp, three books and a magazine (like choice when I go to bed!), hand lotion, face wipes, box of tissues, water bottle and alarm clock. Unless he is leaving a manky mug with mould from a 4 day old half finished cup of tea there, leave the poor bloke alone.

I voted YABU because I don't think that photo is that bad. But if it causes you a problem - different matter.
If you straightened up the books and the medicine packet were popped into the top drawer would that be a reasonable compromise? Or just periodically go through the pile and put some books / magazines etc elsewhere. ( I mean he not you)

I think it was Le Corbusier who said "a house is a machine for living in". Which I take to mean it has to work for everyone living there. But people will have to make compromises along the way IME.

I voted YABU because I don't think that photo is that bad. But if it causes you a problem - different matter.
If you straightened up the books and the medicine packet were popped into the top drawer would that be a reasonable compromise? Or just periodically go through the pile and put some books / magazines etc elsewhere. ( I mean he not you)

I think it was Le Corbusier who said "a house is a machine for living in". Which I take to mean it has to work for everyone living there. But people will have to make compromises along the way IME.