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Original poster

Do I end this based on hearsay.

211 replies

Emotionstorn · 29/01/2026 12:28

Been dating my partner since August. He has a child from a previous relationship but have no plans to introduce children until later.

He has told me him and his ex had quite a stormy breakup. Arguing etc and she told his friends and family that he hit her.

He denies this completely. Has sworn on the life of his child he has never done that.
I have experienced DV historically and I don’t know whether to walk away based on this or not.
There are no red flags or anything that I have seen myself

i just don’t know what to do

OP posts:
LadyLaLaLand · 29/01/2026 12:44

Of course he denies it. Who would ever actually admit to being violent towards the person they supposedly loved? No smoke without fire as they say.

plentyofsunshine · 29/01/2026 12:44

Just do a Claires law and proceed with caution.

ThatCyanCat · 29/01/2026 12:43

Has sworn on the life of his child

I'd dump him for that alone and it makes me not believe him.

Zoec1975 · 29/01/2026 12:43

Emotionstorn · 29/01/2026 12:28

Been dating my partner since August. He has a child from a previous relationship but have no plans to introduce children until later.

He has told me him and his ex had quite a stormy breakup. Arguing etc and she told his friends and family that he hit her.

He denies this completely. Has sworn on the life of his child he has never done that.
I have experienced DV historically and I don’t know whether to walk away based on this or not.
There are no red flags or anything that I have seen myself

i just don’t know what to do

Doesn’t matter if you see no red flags,means nothing at all.with my ex I saw no red flags then he tried to strangle me out the blue.of course he will say he didn’t hit his ex

BlackCatDiscoClub · 29/01/2026 12:41

Don't they all give no red flags at first? Please do a Claire law, but also if you've already been there once I'd leave this relationship. Its not worth the worry. And then what if after five years of great behaviour he does something 'out of character' and you're in so deep you don't know how to leave. Not worth it.

Meadowfinch · 29/01/2026 12:41

No. He has shown no inclination to lash out, no red flags.

Enjoy yourself until you actually see an issue.

thistimelastweek · 29/01/2026 12:41

I'm always suspicious of people who swear on the lives of their children.

KatyaKat · 29/01/2026 12:40

Realistically @Emotionstorn, how likely is it that he would admit it, if it were true. He absolutely wouldn't, as he'd know it would jeopardise your current relationship with him.

I'd walk away now, before you're too far in, particularly as you say you've experienced this before.

FuzzyWolf · 29/01/2026 12:37

As there aren’t any flags, I would proceed with caution but be prepared to leave if something does happen. I’d be surprised if many abusers tend to reveal it this early on.

Hoardasurass · 29/01/2026 12:31

I'd do a Claire law application and be very careful with him

craigth162 · 29/01/2026 12:30

Honestly I'd give benefit of the doubt but be very very careful

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