Would my house rules be unreasonable? #1 would be No Male Visitors overnight

I think a lot depends on if you own the house or if you also rent. In the latter case I think it would be up to the landlord.

If I were looking, an ad that said no parties would positively attract me. You’d attract people who want a quieter place to live.
No men overnight would not bother me either,

It doesn't sound like your really cut out for offering a flat share. Could you not get a cat instead?

When I was a lodger it was like that - in fact, I wasn’t allowed visitors at all or to use the living room.

I didn’t have a problem with it because all the restrictions were reflected on the price. Otherwise probably I would have looked elsewhere, to be honest.

Also male/female relationships aren't the only ones! How would you feel about lesbians couples? Does the rule still apply?

This could work depending on where you live. Try advertising on spare room. Com. I lived in London during the week and went home for weekends for 2 years. Being married I never had overnight guests so this may be perfect for you.

Your house rules are absolutely fine even if they might not appeal to the majority female cohort looking to flatshare. However, there will be someone out there who would be more than happy with your set up (and relieved she is not going to have to bump into your BF in the house first thing in the morning) so go for it with confidence. If anyone feels they are entitled to tell you that your rules are unreasonable, you know they are going to be a PITA on all fronts.

I had this exact conversation with my soon to be new lodger when I met her to exchange contracts last night. I have never put it in the advert (spare room) but have always met them, gone on gut instinct and said it twice in meetings. I have had 5 lodgers now and it’s never been an issue. I have 2 teens (one DD) in the house but even if that wasn’t the case I would still have the same rules.

One did subsequently get a BF after about 12 months and asked me. We were v familiar with each other by that point and things were going really well so I agreed when she asked me if it was ok for him to stay over every now and then. I agreed as I felt much more comfortable by then but I stipulated no more than twice a month. She respected that and they were both very respectful - he was a lovely guy but I still didn’t want anyone here any more than that.

She’s moving out this weekend for work purposes but I do think she has stayed longer as there was a little bit of flexibility (Albeit not much on my part)

It’s totally up to you and whatever you feel comfortable with.

As a final point, I think Monday to Friday lodgers are now less common with hybrid working. My friend was looking for similar recently and struggled so ended up with a full time person. With the right person who has their own life they hopefully won’t be taking root in your kitchen all weekend anyway!

So long as you aren’t desperate to find someone I think that’s fine. It will severely restrict who is interested, but so long as you make rules clear up front then it’s up to you.

For what it’s worth I am mid 40s and have had lodgers for a few years now. The first couple of them I went with women my own age and they were a pain in the ass. Current one is a man in his mid 20s, he’s been here a year and is an absolute dream! And his girlfriend lives in another country.

You could perhaps advertise in churches and mosques, I shared a house with five Christian girls and we didn't have men we weretn related to stay overnight.

I’ve seen a few ads that say this - so it’s not too uncommon.

If you’re somewhere like London where there are lots of people in need of rooms you’ll be able to find someone.

Looking for someone who stays only for work during the week is a good idea.

I also had this rule in a place I was staying for a few months while I waited for my other accommodation. I was young 20’s and so was the flatmate (who had made the rule). Once my boyfriend at the time turned up drunk at 3am. He was ringing me, I let him in made sure he was quiet and let him sleep. I woke him up at 7:30am when I was leaving for work and make him leave with me.

My flare mate went nuclear which I did think was a bit much considering the situation wasn’t really my fault and it was the only time I’d broken the rule.

Why not just no overnight visitors? Then emphasise the QUIET thing in your ad so people understand the vibe. Yes you should easily find someone.

I don't think you're unreasonable if that's what you're comfortable with, and I'm sure you'd find someone who is happy. You need to make sure you're up front about it though.

Personally, I couldn't live with those kind of restrictions (I could live with the non
-parties, but not the no boyfriend). But I would only go back into a house share on pain of death anyway.

Just advertise for a gay housemate

Gay women would be able to have their girlfriends overnight then?

It’s not clear whether you’re saying ‘No male relatives / friends’ staying overnight, or just ‘No boyfriends / etc’. Because otherwise your lodger might just lie - and have a ‘brother’ or ‘cousin’ who’s always around …

I had quite a few lodgers in the past and I had the same rule, I had plenty of interest and only had issues with one girl who was sneaking her boyfriend in when I was working nights.

I was in my mid twenties at the time with similar age lodgers but people of all ages enquired.

I took my time to ask questions before people moved in and picked who I had most in common with, I had two women live with me for years and we all got along and they were some of the best times of my life.
I met my DP at 30 and missed the girly nights when we moved in together.

It’s good you aren’t rushing to find someone suitable, I’m sure you’ll have lots of interest with the shortage of housing and someone will be happy with your rules. Get a ring doorbell though because my bills were going through the roof when my lodger was sneaking her boyfriend in and I hated the fact a man I didn’t know was in my home and felt vulnerable, I couldn’t trust her again and had to ask her to leave.
It’s extremely unlikely you would encounter the same but people will be less likely to try it if they know you’d see on camera.

Yes I would ensure it was in the ad

Your home, your choice, a very reasonable and completely normal and understandable stipulation - so long as you are up front about it.