Visiting friends’ freezing cold houses

What were your hosts wearing? If they were just in normal indoor clothes including a jumper and looked comfortable they probably genuinely don't feel it like you do. Did you say anything? I would always happily turn the heat up for anyone but I'm not good at judging how other people feel.

£60 a month? Are you kidding? It costs me £60 a month just for standing charges and to keep the WiFi, fridge and security cameras on. If I had the heating on 18°, my bill would be around £10 a day.

I would assume that they are keeping the heating off for a reason, and if visiting again, take a lovely long chunky cardigan and a large fine woven wool scarf (to cover lower legs & feet).
If comments were made, I would just say that for some reason, I’m really feeling cold at the moment, so wanted to make sure I could layer up if I did…

Where as I am incredibly uncomfortable in overheated houses.

I have a mate who has the boiler turned off (so no heating or hot water) it's a small flat and on the top floor but my God it's freezing in there. She does it for environmental reasons, but if I'm going round I usually bring an additional jumper so I can put it on when I take my coat off. Tbh though I usually meet her somewhere else these days!

My ex-MIL didn’t feel the cold so very rarely had any heating on. It was always absolutely freezing in her house. To the point where if you went round for dinner, your food would be stone cold before you’d eaten half of it. It was bloody miserable.

I feel the cold quite badly so my flat is set at 20 degrees minimum all day and I’ll often be sat with a heated throw over me as well. I’ve got a duvet, weighted blanket and a throw on my bed and still wake up cold some nights.

I have a vague recollection that when I was younger I possibly walked past someone’s thermostat in a situation like this and twisted it a bit. In hindsight that wasn’t the best move, but it didn’t cost as much back then either.

Yes there's been some eye opening threads!

My heating is set to 18.5C and sometimes I even find that too hot, and I don't wear a million layers inside. Just jeans and a jumper over a t-shirt. Normal socks and those cork footbed slippers the youngsters wear. I'm mindful I'm running hot so when we have guests, it's cranked at 20C and my jumper is off 😬

What a bizarre thing to say 🤔 I'm not British but all my friends and colleagues are, they're all very much avid fans of heating their homes - entirely unsurprisingly.

YANBU. Especially if it’s a “shoes off” household. Hosts sit there in their slippers and fluffy socks, you’re there in standard socks or tights with your toes turning blue and the draught whistling round your ankles! 🥶

I have a friend like this. When a house is so very cold it doesn't matter how many layers you wear --- you are still cold.

I used to stay overnight with my friend as it is too far to go there and back. Even in bed I have never had so many clothes on and still felt absolutely freezing!

It has now got to the point that I just can't stay there anymore as I can't cope with the cold, so I choose to stay over in a hotel instead.

Yanbu. If they can afford holidays they could afford to heat their house. I wear thick tracksuit bottoms, socks and thermal vests to other peoples homes these days. Being cold makes my IBS really bad.

My heating is whirring away even at this time of night. My room is 22.6 and I could be warmer.

You can’t make everyone happy all the time, but generally speaking 20C is considered room
temperature and is a safe bet. It’s not entirely subjective.

I’ll raise you ‘cold house and big lights on’. Went to someone’s house warming in December and it was misnamed as their house was freezing. Was an evening thing and people had come in party clothes as it was near Christmas and were freezing in their shirt sleeves and dresses. The ‘house warming’ joke was made more than once.

They also had the bright white powerful ceiling lights on in every room. So unpleasant. Maybe they decided they wanted an early night and it worked because we all went home early.

I just don't feel the cold the same as other people so I do tend to put the heating on for visitors and I do ask if guests are warm enough.

Yesterday I was sitting on the sofa in a T shirt, my carer was wearing a hoodie and had duvet over him. It was about 12 degrees.

Guests can also feel uncomfortable when hosts like their heating set high.

There are limits to how much clothing one can remove. Stuffy rooms make me feel dull and stupid and irritable - I get desperate for fresh air and start calculating when I can decently leave!

I suspect they think it’s morally superior not to worry about bourgeois things like being warm.

I'm amazed how much people feel the cold/how many layers they need - even knowing how warm blooded I am. I never need more than a t-shirt, jumper, thermal coat when I'm working outside. Tbh I don't often bother with the jumper unless it's sub zero or I'm going to be outside for ages

I failed to quote you on my previous post.
You are on my page.
Guests should not feel uncomfortable.
It's that simple.

Many years ago a work colleague invited me round for the evening. I made a long bad journey in february on 2 buses and the house was freezing cold. I sat with my coat on and when she commented i told her it was too cold for me and asked for a cup of coffee to warm me up. She had not offered me one on arrival and I felt it was poor hospitality. Needless to say I declined all future invitations and told her why. It turned out she had lodgers and I felt sorry for them. At the time I was living on a rough council estate but I made sure my flat was properly heated and people were offered a drink on arrival.

YANBU,

That being said we live in a big house. It costs an arm and a leg to heat fully. And you can’t half heat it. The heat just sucks from one part to another otherwise.

Through experimentation I have realised you also can’t cool and heat it on/off. Doesn’t touch the sides and costs much more having the boiler in overdrive trying to catch up.

So basically I can see how it happens. People can’t afford or don’t want to spend that much - then bad loop of not fully being actually able to heat the home. More damp. Which makes it harder to heat it again. Harder actually I would say impossible unless you have a log burner and can pump some super hot dry heat.

And I find if the walls get cold we are buggered for the whole remaining season. It never regains its warmth. So the late competition of who can wait longest to turn heating on also leads to heating disaster.

I love you
I have never ever bought the "just put on a jumper" "just wear layers" thing. I want to wear a reasonable amount of indoor clothes and have warm feet, hands and face for heaven's sake.

Yes it's inhospitable and liking heat myself, I always enquire if people are comfortable and if they're not I open the garden doors for a while and turn the heating down.
Equally, in the summertime if we're outside I throw sweatshirts and wraps around if people get chilly when the sun goes down.

Yes if OP were expecting someone to keep a house at 22 that’s unreasonable but I have also known people who treat it as a frugality competition and you’re lucky to have the place at 16. I don’t think it’s hospitable, especially when they aren’t skint and you know it.

I avoided a trip to stay because my friend lives in a freezing house, it’s very pretty with polished original wooden floorboards and large windows but it’s bloody freezing. My house is set at 19.