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Visiting friends’ freezing cold houses

139 replies

Lardychops · 28/01/2026 23:27

Yet another evening visiting a friends’ house for a mid week catch up natter and couple of drinks, 7.30-10pm type affair. Absolutely fucking Baltic with no heating on Went to the loo, radiator like ice not even warm from maybe having clicked off at 8.30/9pm
Home warming up in bed.
Baffling as this seems to be the case with loads of our friends - all not short of a bob or two, nice holidays, homes, cars etc especially as half of us grew up with sod all and often joke about our relatively impoverished upbringings by today’s standards ( myself included which is why I hate hate being cold at home)
I mean, even at my skintist as an adult with a young family, making sure the meter was plugged with 50p’s so the flat was warm for visitors would have been a given

After having grown up with chilblains in winter as a kid I just don’t get the freezing cold house thing when it doesn’t have to be.

OP posts:
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Lardychops · 30/01/2026 23:21

Ponderingpondering · 30/01/2026 19:58

I’m interested in the spanish peasant food recipes 😉 Agree about cold homes !

Okay for me and what typical week would look like historically-

Take a whole chicken -take the breast off and cube and fry with peppers , tinned toms, bay leaves, thyme paprika ,onions , garlic and carrot , tom puree , splash vinegar , rice and water and splash olive oil to make chicken and rice - this is not paella it’s ‘arroz con pollo’ -chicken n rice.

With the remaining carcass with legs intact , boil in loads water , an onion , carrots, stick celery,, and an 2 inch of chorizo ring (save the rest) for an hour. Strain and save 2/3 the stock separately. Then in the existing stock strip the carcass of the chicken , chop the carrot n onion and the chorizo put all back into the stock. Reboil and add a handful of broken spaghetti or crushed pasta per two people till cooked then crack in an egg or two per person with a splash of olive oil of you have it. Eat with bread

Fry some thinly sliced potatoes and onions Take spinach or any greens you have, fry in with lots and lots of garlic (save half if this in a Tupperware) now and add some chick peas and paprika and some of the chicken stock you saved earlier in the week. Crack in some eggs and mix in. Eat with bread and tomato salad.

With the pots and greens you saved make a tortilla with lots of eggs another couple inches of chorizo finely chopped if you want to and serve with tinned tuna salad

using all most of all remaining stock make a butternut squash soup with as much squash as you can , onion and carrot and lots bay leaves and garlic , have this Spanish style as a ‘first plate ‘ followed by a slice of fried meat and a sliced tomato with salt and olive oil - if can’t afford meat a one or two egg omelet per person as a ‘second plate will suffice OR the left over tortilla from day before

Lentils/butter beans/chick peas and Chorizo- final bit of stock left simmer with fried onions, green pepper, carrot, garlic, bay leaf, thyme, smoked paprika, green lentils, rest of chorizo ring, cubed potatoes the beans, splash vinegar, all the olive oil you can spare, bacon rinds if have them and then let the magic happen
eat with bread

Pisto
Fry onions, peppers, garlics, courgette and aubergine
then addd tom puree and tinned tons or pasata , splash vinegar , stock or water, bay leaf and lots salt
cook down
eat with boiled rice and fried eggs
or meat/fish on the side of can afford it

Migas
Roughly hand chop /grate chunky breadcrumbs - wet with water and make very damp but not soggy
fry chorizo, few slices Jamon ( use bacon if easier) and peppers and whole garlic in olive oil and smoked paprika
add the breadcrumbs and slow fry for ages constantly moving until the moisture in the crumbs dries out and the dish comes together deep red and unctuous
-eat with fried eggs on top chopped in and grapes on the side of you really want to be authentic

there’s more but that what my kids grew up
on

OP posts:
Oftenaddled · 30/01/2026 23:04

RegalDiamondMonster · 30/01/2026 23:01

China. They were lovely hosts but didn't seem at all bothered by the cold, not sure what more they could've done anyway. Keeping coats on indoors in places south of the central heating line divide was normal, in schools as well.

That's fascinating, thanks - I had no idea

RegalDiamondMonster · 30/01/2026 23:01

Oftenaddled · 30/01/2026 17:54

What country was that!?

China. They were lovely hosts but didn't seem at all bothered by the cold, not sure what more they could've done anyway. Keeping coats on indoors in places south of the central heating line divide was normal, in schools as well.

Lardychops · 30/01/2026 21:25

99pwithaflake · 30/01/2026 08:41

Of course it’s not irrelevant - I’m not going to sit in my own house at a temperature that makes me feel unwell.

Well then you are a shit host (and you know that )

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 30/01/2026 20:49

CocoChunnel · 29/01/2026 01:07

Its a British thing. Not putting the heating on makes them happy/proud

It's a mumsnet thing. The competitive underheating threads are ridiculous.

DH has poor circulation and is on blood thinners and feels the cold dreadfully. The thermostat is set at 20 degrees in our house.

I wasn’t rude enough to keep my coat

I don't think it is rude to keep your coat on if it is cold. I just don't function when I am cold and if someone hosting me kept their house so cold that I needed to keep my coat on the rude person is the host not the guest.

My sister and SIL have cold houses so we just don't visit them in winter.

CrazyCatLady13 · 30/01/2026 20:41

A family member has a cold house, it's a 3 storey Victorian. She can't afford to keep it warm. We're used to it now and layer up, with a fake oodie on top & take slippers. It's worth it to spend time with the family 😊

Ponderingpondering · 30/01/2026 19:58

I’m interested in the spanish peasant food recipes 😉 Agree about cold homes !

shellyleppard · 30/01/2026 19:38

Op my dad is the same. Won't put the central heating on unless its really really really cold -5 or lower. He keeps a log burner going 24/7 when its really cold. If I go and visit I have four layers on.....🥶

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 30/01/2026 19:37

I have two sets of friends who like a cold house. We have banter about it. They put the heating on for us now!

oscallah · 30/01/2026 19:34

I'd tolerate it the first time only, and I'm pretty sure eventually I'd say something like " Jeez Anne, it's bloody freezing in here, anyone else cold or just me, is the heating on?" We can say those things to good friends we are comfortable with. However no house I visit or drop in to is ever Baltic either!

I wouldn't meet them at theirs anymore, I'd suggest going to a coffee shop instead. BTW what were THEY wearing?

MrsLizzieDarcy · 30/01/2026 19:23

We just keep our boiler on all the time over cold spells but on low so it never gets too hot or too cold. The thermostat is in the hall which is very cold and draughty due to the house design (think deranged 1980s architect) and if that's around 18c then the rooms themselves are likely to be a few degrees warmer. I did have a Gro Egg for when the grandkids were little to make sure it was around 20c in their rooms.

It's bloody rude to invite visitors into a home that you're not heating.

Netcurtainnelly · 30/01/2026 19:08

A good host should ask the guest of they are warm enough.

Polyestered · 30/01/2026 18:42

For those saying there cold memories from wooden flooring ?! I though (newish, as in not draughty Victorian) wooden floors were on the warmer side, compared to tiles or laminate for example?

Oftenaddled · 30/01/2026 17:54

RegalDiamondMonster · 30/01/2026 08:54

I used to live in a country where the government decided only the northern half was allowed central heating. When I lived in the southern half i bought a small electric heater- but I remember visiting a friend's parents in the countryside a few hours away for a few nights. I have never been so cold!

Everyone wore coats inside- i was only warm in bed (eventually), in the bath, and when we cycled to play outdoor table tennis. It was a real wet, damp kind of cold as well.

What country was that!?

Nevereatcardboard · 30/01/2026 12:09

I have a friend like this. Her living room is always really cold but I noticed she has some pretty decorative throws over her sofa. Apparently those were not intended to be used as blankets over my legs while I was there. It’s going to be a while before I’m invited over there again! 😀

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 30/01/2026 11:43

After a friends shoes off housewarming, post renovation 20 years ago with perishing cold [if beautiful new oak] floors I take small ballet slippers with me everywhere. I was so ill after that night and its really stuck with me.

Being cold is the one thing that gives me bad memories of my childhood in a very badly insulated house. DH regularly attests that it's warmer outdoors than indoors in my parents house even in summer. I don't visit in the winter any more. I can recall getting dressed for school with my siblings as a primary aged child in the kitchen because it was the only heated room [gas burner heater] in the mornings. It's my biggest priority when house hunting. Will it be easy to heat and have reasonable running costs because I am not living in a perishing house ever again.

@ OP - I'd have put on my coat. It's one thing to be British and polite if you think funds are very tight, otherwise no.

AeriatedAnna · 30/01/2026 11:37

Not rude enough to keep your coat on 🤔. My BIL’s the same, when I used to visit him & SIL, there’s no way my coat would come off! When they mentioned it I would tell them I was chilly & would take my coat off when I’d warmed up a bit. I’d go home & be shivering all night. They’d sit in the dark too, They have plenty of money for everything else, but for God knows what reason they won’t spend money on heat or light. I don’t go any more, it’s so uncomfortable sitting there freezing.

Clefable · 30/01/2026 11:28

Yeah honestly I think it’s impossible to say. What were your friends wearing? I think some people do feel the cold a lot more, but as I am not one of them, it’s impossible for me to know if my house is too warm or too cold. It’s plenty warm enough for me, DH and the kids right now, thermostats in various rooms are generally around 18-19, but that seems to be cold for some people 🤷‍♀️

No one has ever kept their coat on here but then quite a few of my friends live in quite old, draughty homes and comment on how warm it is in our house! Whereas others would maybe think it on the cold side. I don’t adjust temperature for guests as it’s always comfortable for us and it wouldn’t occur to me to guess whether X guest runs hotter or colder. You can’t please everyone!

Also unless you have individual room thermostats (we have smart radiator TRVs) it’s impossible to say what the temp is in each room. Our main thermostat in hall doesn’t really bear much relation to what the temperature is in all the various rooms in the house. So a large pinch of salt when anyone says their whole house is 23 degrees or whatever.

Rumpledandcrumpled · 30/01/2026 11:27

My sil does this, she says it’s as she doesn’t feel the cold. But she does, you can see she’s cold and they sit there in their fleeces. My house is always warm, I dislike a cold house and I think it’s bad for your health. Very rarely rhe heating will click off and I forget and she will say it’s cold, and it’s 22 degrees, but in her own house apparently 17 is toasty. She loves a warm toasty house, just doesn’t want to pay for it.

99pwithaflake · 30/01/2026 11:21

CommonlyKnownAs · 30/01/2026 11:07

This is the thing, there is no universally agreed definition of 'mid range'!

Exactly 🫣

If I went to a house kept at 22/23 degrees I would have a banging headache and a sore throat within the hour, whereas other people would be sitting there in jumpers and slippers.

BuffyWillow · 30/01/2026 11:18

DelilahBucket · 28/01/2026 23:35

I suppose it depends what temperature you're used to versus them. We turn our heating up for hosting. We usually have it set at 18 for us, but appreciate some like it warmer and I'd hate to think our guests are cold. My dad has his thermostat at 22 but the house is very different to our house, where 19 has the same effect.

This is what we do, we would much rather be a bit warmer than normal than our guests be cold.

TheHillIsMine · 30/01/2026 11:16

This is my worry. I've moved to a new house which is old and it's bloody cold here. I've had the loft insulated but I can't get to grips with the best way to heat the house. I've asked two neighbours since their weather is the same as mine and one has a house almost identical in size. One keeps it on all the time and the other puts it on for an hour when it's cold.

With having the kids here for about six weeks and it being really cold, I've had the heating on more but the bill is four times usual. Not sustainable. I've read about heating the person and not the house and my heated blanket is great, but then I have a friend saying I'll get damp. Temperature tips would be great too if the consensus is have it on more.

Any tips would be great, thank you.

CommonlyKnownAs · 30/01/2026 11:07

This is the thing, there is no universally agreed definition of 'mid range'!

99pwithaflake · 30/01/2026 11:03

Morepositivemum · 30/01/2026 10:53

99pwithaflake
but nobody’s going to freeze or boil at a mid range temperature. I mean properly shake with cold or feel like they’re going to puke, because in everyday life most buildings won’t have they’re heating on max and it won’t be off for days at a time

Just read through all the heating threads on here - people are regularly told their houses are freezing and/or unpleasantly cold at 18 degrees.

Morepositivemum · 30/01/2026 10:53

99pwithaflake
but nobody’s going to freeze or boil at a mid range temperature. I mean properly shake with cold or feel like they’re going to puke, because in everyday life most buildings won’t have they’re heating on max and it won’t be off for days at a time