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AIBU?

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Size 18 and Happy - Anyone Else Not Wanting to Lose Weight?”

212 replies

Dancingflamingos · 28/01/2026 21:14

I’m a size 18 and, honestly, I’m happy at this size. I don’t feel the need to lose weight, but people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me, which I find frustrating. I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

I was actually very slim as a child, teenager, and into my early 20s. From my mid-20s onwards I gradually put weight on, and after having my son at 29, it became very hard to shift the excess weight. Over time, I’ve kind of embraced where my body has settled.

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well. I have a great sex life, my DH finds me attractive, and I’ve never experienced rudeness from strangers. If anything, I still get men looking at me and women smiling, and I often receive compliments on my appearance - especially how I dress.

I love fashion. I live in midi dresses, skirts and boots, and I enjoy wearing bright colours and novelty earrings. I’m 5’7”, which probably helps, and I’ve often been told I “carry my weight well.” Most people assume I’m a size 14/16 (I have big boobs though!)

What I struggle with is the feeling that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t aspire to be skinny or slim. I was brought up with the idea that fat = bad, and I don’t want to carry that mindset through my life. When I think about my grandmas, they were both rounder women - warm and cuddly

My DS, who is 7, recently said he doesn’t want me to do calorie counting to lose weight because he wants me to stay cuddly. That really stuck with me.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way - comfortable in their body, not chasing weight loss, and trying to unlearn the idea that thinner is always better.

OP posts:
Chisbots · 28/01/2026 21:27

I'm about that and happy.

I lose very slowly, am stressed and miserable, so better to maintain weight and work on fitness and strength. Losing then gaining wrecks your body comp, if you don't do a tonne of resistance training too.

BitOutOfPractice · 28/01/2026 21:25

That’s a lot of explaining for someone who’s happy with where they are.

Dancingflamingos · 28/01/2026 21:25

Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:24

Maybe just stop navel gazing about it? And enjoy life

It feels like it’s everywhere, with WLIs etc and I know plenty of people on them.

OP posts:
Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:24

Dancingflamingos · 28/01/2026 21:23

That’s the thing, I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with me for feeling this way and now second guessing myself.

Maybe just stop navel gazing about it? And enjoy life

Dancingflamingos · 28/01/2026 21:23

Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:20

I have to say… you don’t sound very comfortable with your weight. Thou doth protest too much and all that

That’s the thing, I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with me for feeling this way and now second guessing myself.

OP posts:
Dancingflamingos · 28/01/2026 21:22

ResusciAnnie · 28/01/2026 21:20

people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me

Fucking rude!! Who are these people?

How on earth does your 7 year old know what calorie counting is though??

From someone on WLIs, you do you, YANBU at all.

(Just saw your update - my 10 & 8 yo have no idea I’m on WLIs and have never mentioned calories… but then I do try really hard not to talk about weight and not to pass my issues onto them!)

Edited

I accidentally said something about calorie counting to my DH in front of him and he started asking questions. He is at the age where he has to know everything!

OP posts:
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 28/01/2026 21:21

My friend feels the same as you. She could easily afford weight loss injections but says she is happy and couldn't bear to lose one of her biggest pleasures by not feeling hungry. She's a size 18 I'd say.

I think it's a tough one because we all know that being significantly overweight has huge health risks. I wish I could be slim but still eat all the wonderful food that is available in this world.

ResusciAnnie · 28/01/2026 21:20

people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me

Fucking rude!! Who are these people?

How on earth does your 7 year old know what calorie counting is though??

From someone on WLIs, you do you, YANBU at all.

(Just saw your update - my 10 & 8 yo have no idea I’m on WLIs and have never mentioned calories… but then I do try really hard not to talk about weight and not to pass my issues onto them!)

Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:20

I have to say… you don’t sound very comfortable with your weight. Thou doth protest too much and all that

Dancingflamingos · 28/01/2026 21:19

It’s because I said it in front of him and he started asking me what it was and I explained in kids terms

OP posts:
Chinup100 · 28/01/2026 21:18

You can do what you want and feel however you like, but whyyyyy would your 7 year old be talking about calorie counting

Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:16

My kids at that age wouldn’t have had the foggiest what calorie counting even was!

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