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Size 18 and Happy - Anyone Else Not Wanting to Lose Weight?”

212 replies

Dancingflamingos · 28/01/2026 21:14

I’m a size 18 and, honestly, I’m happy at this size. I don’t feel the need to lose weight, but people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me, which I find frustrating. I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

I was actually very slim as a child, teenager, and into my early 20s. From my mid-20s onwards I gradually put weight on, and after having my son at 29, it became very hard to shift the excess weight. Over time, I’ve kind of embraced where my body has settled.

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well. I have a great sex life, my DH finds me attractive, and I’ve never experienced rudeness from strangers. If anything, I still get men looking at me and women smiling, and I often receive compliments on my appearance - especially how I dress.

I love fashion. I live in midi dresses, skirts and boots, and I enjoy wearing bright colours and novelty earrings. I’m 5’7”, which probably helps, and I’ve often been told I “carry my weight well.” Most people assume I’m a size 14/16 (I have big boobs though!)

What I struggle with is the feeling that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t aspire to be skinny or slim. I was brought up with the idea that fat = bad, and I don’t want to carry that mindset through my life. When I think about my grandmas, they were both rounder women - warm and cuddly

My DS, who is 7, recently said he doesn’t want me to do calorie counting to lose weight because he wants me to stay cuddly. That really stuck with me.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way - comfortable in their body, not chasing weight loss, and trying to unlearn the idea that thinner is always better.

OP posts:
LookingThroughGlass · 29/01/2026 08:19

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well.

That's the important thing. As long as you are monitoring your health (I don't mean obsessively, but keeping an eye on it) I think it's fine to stay at a weight you're happy with.

You are in your mid-30s from what you've said, so be aware that things may change in the next 10 years, as health issues can start to kick in when you reach perimenopause, especially aches and pains that can be exacerbated by being heavy. You might be lucky - genes play a bigger part in all health-issues than some people like to admit - but be alert for any health changes so you can take steps if needed.

curious79 · 29/01/2026 08:07

I’m 5’7”, size 16 close to 18 and I’m carrying at least 3stone excess, though also look slimmer. It’s all excess fat.
i cant be happy knowing that this extra weight may not be causing me problems now - aside from screwing up ability to buy nice clothes - but WILL cause future problems. Sorry, there’s just no getting away from it. To be honest, I’m a pig and overeat, and snack like a teenager - I don’t just ‘enjoy’ my food. Are you being truly honest? Like you I’m reasonably satisfied so don’t do much about it , which I suppose is better than beating myself up
but yes, cheeky f*ckers telling you to take WLI! That’s a firm FO

RichardOnslowRoper · 29/01/2026 08:04

JuliettaCaeser · 29/01/2026 08:03

Such a bloody effort to remain right at the top of my normal bmi at 50. Intermittent fasting exercise two meals a day no snacks. Can kind of see why you’d think sod that!

It is an effort for me too at 54 ( not on WLI).

JuliettaCaeser · 29/01/2026 08:03

Such a bloody effort to remain right at the top of my normal bmi at 50. Intermittent fasting exercise two meals a day no snacks. Can kind of see why you’d think sod that!

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 08:01

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:59

I’m lying in bed scrolling MN, if I was much calmer I’d slip into a coma. I suspect the answer will be similar to mine, anyway, but I shall permit the accused poster to answer you 😂

Thanks
Apology accepted

ps love your username

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:59

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:57

It was a question.

one question.

calm down

I’m lying in bed scrolling MN, if I was much calmer I’d slip into a coma. I suspect the answer will be similar to mine, anyway, but I shall permit the accused poster to answer you 😂

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:57

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:52

Oh sorry, I didn’t realise she was on trial at the stand.

It was a question.

one question.

calm down

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:52

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:52

It was your answer.

Not the poster to which I asked

Oh sorry, I didn’t realise she was on trial at the stand.

ShawnaMacallister · 29/01/2026 07:52

DeftGoldHedgehog · 29/01/2026 07:11

YANBU. In fact you are probably not heavy enough to have WLI even privately unless you have underlying conditions.

The thing is though when I was size 14/16, BMI 29 and 5'7" it started to feel like a strain on my joints when I was exercising and I worried about the extra strain on my heart coming into menopause. And for me the additional risk of developing cancer, which was already slightly elevated due to having endometriosis. I started to feel that the extra weight would bring more complications with age, hence I did use WLI (also had PCOS) which meant I qualified.

Unlike you though I had never felt comfortable with the extra weight and had been trying to get down even just to normal BMI for 15+ years.

Why do you think she wouldn't be heavy enough at a size 18 :/

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:52

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:47

I thought it was the answer - it’s possible to live a normal, active life, be reasonably healthy eating wise and still be slightly overweight in a BMI sense.

It was your answer.

Not the poster to which I asked

Overtheatlantic · 29/01/2026 07:50

I’m just curious who all these people are who are suggesting you try WLI? Do they just rock up and say hey, if you want to lose weight you should try WLI? And who all the people telling you that you carry your weight well?

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:47

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:45

Obviously

But doesn’t negate my question to the pp

Edited

I thought it was the answer - it’s possible to live a normal, active life, be reasonably healthy eating wise and still be slightly overweight in a BMI sense.

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:45

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:39

Overweight is different to obese, to be fair. I mean, I am overweight but it’s fairly marginal, it doesn’t affect my life especially so I’m fine with it. I think my BMI is 27. I could lose a stone.

Obviously

But doesn’t negate my question to the pp

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 07:39

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:21

So if you’re brutally honest - why do you think you were overweight?

Overweight is different to obese, to be fair. I mean, I am overweight but it’s fairly marginal, it doesn’t affect my life especially so I’m fine with it. I think my BMI is 27. I could lose a stone.

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 07:21

DeftGoldHedgehog · 29/01/2026 07:21

I was in the overweight BMI category for 16+ years but was in the gym every other day and made healtthy meals from scratch. There was nothing easy or lazy about it.

So if you’re brutally honest - why do you think you were overweight?

DeftGoldHedgehog · 29/01/2026 07:21

B1anche · 28/01/2026 21:28

People are happy to remain overweight because it is easier than taking regular exercise and eating a healthy diet. Unfortunately, when you hit your 60s (or maybe younger), life will not be easier if you've been carrying extra weight and been inactive for the last 4 or 5 decades.

I was in the overweight BMI category for 16+ years but was in the gym every other day and made healtthy meals from scratch. There was nothing easy or lazy about it.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 29/01/2026 07:11

YANBU. In fact you are probably not heavy enough to have WLI even privately unless you have underlying conditions.

The thing is though when I was size 14/16, BMI 29 and 5'7" it started to feel like a strain on my joints when I was exercising and I worried about the extra strain on my heart coming into menopause. And for me the additional risk of developing cancer, which was already slightly elevated due to having endometriosis. I started to feel that the extra weight would bring more complications with age, hence I did use WLI (also had PCOS) which meant I qualified.

Unlike you though I had never felt comfortable with the extra weight and had been trying to get down even just to normal BMI for 15+ years.

RichardOnslowRoper · 29/01/2026 06:49

Whatever you decide to do, it's nobody's business to suggest WLIs, so you should nip that in the bud.

Letsorderpizza · 29/01/2026 06:45

Ghostmartin · 29/01/2026 00:16

No you didn't mean it "kindly" at all.
She can wear whatever jewellery makes her happy.
Nasty comment.

I did think I wouldn’t want to see that poster being unkind Confused

MN does tend to get worked up on the topic of weight. I don’t think my weight or anyone else’s is anyone else’s business.

Iocanepowder · 29/01/2026 06:38

Sorry can’t identify. Having 2 kids and needing further surgery has shifted my stomach area to a size 14 and i feel disgusting. I used to be a size 6/8. Still in my 30s so shifting some weight is a priority for me as i feel it will only get worse as i get older and i want to look after my health.

PersephoneParlormaid · 29/01/2026 06:28

If I try to lose weight I just end up eating more, so staying as I am is the best bet.

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 06:25

It is very clear @Dancingflamingos you aren’t happy. You sound very insecure. So if it’s not about your weight then something else if going on.

Either way - best distance yourself from all this people suggesting WLI!!

TheIceBear · 29/01/2026 06:05

If you are happy the way you are then crack on . We all know being overweight has health implications but so does many other choices such as drinking wine etc. Up to you what kind of lifestyle you want to live. Busybodies suggesting weight loss injections would annoy me , I mean do they think you aren’t aware that these injections exist or what ? People should just mind their own business when it comes to this sort of thing.

ShawnaMacallister · 29/01/2026 06:05

Beekman · 29/01/2026 03:04

I don’t think it is a flex, I’m fat and I know it and am aware of the risks. BMI is a terrible yardstick.

What's a better yardstick? Clothing size? In which case, OP is still carrying too much body fat for optimal health right?

trustedadult · 29/01/2026 06:04

Of course it's bad for your health, the strain in your heart of carrying around a suitcase worth of weight is going to kill that and probably your knees as well

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