DH thinks he should have an office space kept clear at home

I thought you said he didn’t mind which desk he had, as long as he had one left just for him?

Haven't read the full thread, just OP's messages.

Your DH has main character complex.
His needs and wants are more important than yours.

The End.

Am mostly bewildered that you live in a house with so much space and you are both bickering about it. I think most people would be amazed and delighted to have a choice of 3 separate workspaces and it seems fair enough that if there are 2 places and 2 people you each pick one.

And honesty, if setting up the workstation is the actual sticking point here, just get a better setup so you don’t have to unplug anything to use his space.

(Now that we find out there’s a third desk why can’t you use that if it’s too cold upstairs?)

So it's equally not regularly that OP needs to leave one desk clear for him.

If the main motivation for having 2 desks is the temperature, I don't believe the temperature varies so wildly from day to day that OP can't just work on one desk in cold months and the other desk in hot months.

Or like, others have suggested, buy extra heaters, blankets or extension leads.

It's a pain to have to clear a space and set up before you start work - even if it is only twice a month. it's a bit like having to clear the kitchen workspace before you start making a meal because the previous person left it in a mess. It gets you off to a bad start before you've even done anything.

Where is the kindness?
Until recently we had one ‘office’ space in the house. While it was technically DH’s office there was no way he’d have me working in the freezing cold kitchen in winter while he wasn’t even in the house!
Setting up a monitor and laptop takes two minutes and while it’s nice to have them permanently set up surely your partner bring warm and comfortable overrides a minor inconvenience.

I’m team husband as well - and I’m also used to hot-desking at work but when I do, the desk at work is clear when I arrive and all the equipment is connected.

My husband does what you do and it drives me crazy as im quite organised and like a tidy desk set up. It’s particularly annoying when I have an early morning call and get to my desk 5 mins before it starts to find things unplugged, the videocam skewiff and papers and dirty mugs on my desk. Like you he also has his own office but he likes to use mine in our case I think because it is a nicer experience because the room is clean and tidy and not the junk store he’s turned honown inro

if you left things as you found them every evening when you finish I suspect this would be a non issue but YABU otherwise

You have 2 spaces available to WFH, you want to be able to use either and DH wants each of you to have a dedicated space. The fact that he’s WFH less than you is irrelevant. I would be annoyed with you too if I were your DH. The least you need to do is ensure the desk space he normally uses is left as he likes it, with his monitor plugged back in.
My DH has a hobby that uses a desk in the loft, which I sometimes use when I’m sewing. I always ensure I put it back as I found it when I’m finished.

Allocate one desk to each of you and that’s that persons desk. You are allowed to use his but if you do, you leave it clear of your stuff when you’re done because it’s his desk.

😆

So I think you are totally legit to use both desks, but I also think it's legit not to want to have to clear someone else's stuff from a desk before you use it, when there are two desks at home.

If we hot desk we have a single USB c you plug in and your whole desk set up is done.

Could you make some changes so if he does work from home he's not having to faff to get set up? E.g. switching to a six gang extension lead so you don't have to unplug his laptop, say. And maybe having some sort of in-tray/a set of drawers where you keep your stuff that it sounds like is spreading out over the desk?

Do you generally colonize every space in your home?

We have one desk at home and it is ‘mine’ in my head as I work from home and it’s set up with all my monitors etc. provided by work. My DH uses it sometimes when he is revising for exams or doing some study, I imagine it is shared in his mind which is fair enough, it’s the only desk. I’ve never said anything to him but he always hides my stuff (in different places every time), unplugs things and leaves his laptop and notes out. It’s tidy but so annoying 😅

I think if I were your DH I’d struggle to understand why you can’t have one left clear

Get an additional desk if you want to use that space.

If he's complaining about moving your laptop, I can see why you think he's being a bit of a baby. But at the same time, I don't see why you can't both have spaces that do what you'd like them to.

Plugging a monitor in isn't the end of the world, but it would annoy me if I had to do it every time I went to work in my own home. Hot desking is one thing but it isn't exactly universally loved. I would hope to have something a bit better in a home office if it was possible.

Is it really not possible to have enough sockets so you don't have to be plugging and unplugging things? Can you not make your upstairs office warm enough that you can work there all the time? Wouldn't you prefer to have a desk you can set up just how you like it and don't have to move about depending on the weather? You could use this as the excuse to go to town on your office and make it a space you really enjoy. He can keep his dingy cellar office and use it any time he wants without crying about it.

They did that and it’s not warm enough.
if the ‘messy’ desk is just a laptop then I couldn’t care less- it’s a laptop, everyone on this call you have needed advance notice in order to turn up in the evening, you need to get your laptop out of your bag, your wife works from home ,as part of your meeting prep say to me ‘it offends me to have to pick up your laptop, move it off my desk before 7pm Thursdays’ or just take the call from your car while picking up your dc or at the training field/rink like every other busy senior manager in my global firm does, unless he’s ceo of a multi billion dollar company. Although the ceo of the multi billion dollar company I’m at wouldn’t be entitled like your dh.
I just get op should never ever be an impediment to my precious work in any way vibes from him. Go play one of his guitars op.

Treat it like a hot desk at a coworking space - leave it as you found it.

This. Simples.

Absolutely!

When you say you clear it when he wants to use it, do you mean he gives notice and when he goes to use it at the set time, it's clear and ready? Or is the sort of thing that he doesnt know he needs it until the day, then he goes to use the desk and your stuff is everywhere and he has to wait while you move everything? I think it's fine to use both desks, but pack away when you're finished if it's in "his" space, so that he can use it when he needs to without waiting for you to pack up.

Why is he a twat? They have 2 desks and he just wants one left for him. She can pick th one she prefers and leave the other alone. Hardly unreasonable is it?

He's a twat, a tedious toddler twat.

That does not sound unreasonable at all to me.

OP - you’re adults - you need your own desks.

My children had their own desks. It saved all kinds of arguments like the one you’re having.