What the fuck is wrong with parents?

Lazy parenting, as with those that get takeaway junk food for their kids every night. 🙄

A child with “puppy fat” will very likely measure obese

and that’s all we’re talking about. Measuring obese. This conversation isn’t about the Michelin padded kids so large their eyes has disappeared ala Augustus gloop, this is about children who measure obese on the NHS BMI chart. About 10% of reception children.

I really think it's not that straightforward.

I've got two kids. The 13 year old was born all limbs. Very tall and skinny. Always has been, despite a HUGE appetite. But they are always moving, never stops fidgeting etc.

The 10 year old was born with a tummy. The sonographer even made a comment on it. They are overweight now. Always been on the heavier side. Bit of a day dreamer who will happily sit at some sort of art activity for hours.

They are both fed the same, healthy diet. I cook from scratch. Lots of fruit and veg. No snacks between meals. Younger one gets smaller portions.

I am constantly aware of what the younger one is eating and it's so hard not to single them out and make them think about their weight. I am worried that comments etc would drive them to an eating disorder.

I'm not a neglectful parent. I don't need social services involvement. I'm just trying my best with two very different children!

I try not to judge but I do wonder when I see really obese young kids (talking much more than just puppy fat). I think it's sometimes people giving kids adult portions and also perhaps not limiting supplies of thingss like crisps or chocolates. I mean we buy some every week, but generally when it's gone, it's gone, that's it for the week. I suspect some people always have big packs available.

I also wish nurseries and schools would just stop having dessert, maybe other than fruit. I think it would make parents' lives much easier if having something sugary after every meal were not normalised from early on, and it would be a simple way to start off healthier eating.

It's only one angle, but the portion sizes for children's meals are absolutely shocking. DS at 11 was a bit overweight and as old as you could be to order children's menu yet the portions were always huge, large adult amounts of chips, and more than he should eat. They are being served to children literally half his size and weight. I know people may say it's a one off but some parents are pretty bad at gauging portion size and then they see this and think this is normal. A regulation of portion sizes in restaurants and hotels would be a small step in the right direction.

Don’t be daft. My children were obese at 4. They weren’t by 11 and 8 respectively. Can you detail the damage being obese for 4 or 7 years does to an individuals health?

Do you think that’s better, worse or the same than a 67 year old ex builder who becomes obese after retirement, having been a healthy weight for 67 years?

And go away with your safeguarding and your education. I’m rich- in the top 1% of earners- so don’t hog wash me with poor people’s wholesome food.

the cheek of suggesting you want to Waste time sending social services into the 10% of families that have an obese 4 year old, the vast majority of them feeding them a normal healthy diet.

ill worry about my kids and you worry about your eating disorder. You’re the one more likely to die from it.

This.

my daughter is 91St centile for height. She is over 15cm taller than the majority of her classmates. She is 4 and the height of a 6 year old. She wears age 6-7 clothes because she is very tall. Her weight is proportional and is also 91st centile. That makes her obese. But she is lean, tons of muscle, has far more strength than her peers and gets a ton of exercise including strength and cardio.

but the height and weight survey would tell me to stop feeding her junk and presume she’s got a high body fat percentage and was the height of an average 4 year old.

What I find really hard is that I don’t serve chocolate, biscuits, cake, puddings at home very often but between grandparents, school dinners, school fundraisers, birthday parties, hobbies my daughter consumes so much more than I would like.

bake sales on Fridays, granny taking her out for a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows and then an ice cream, school lunches having puddings, sweets in party bags. She gets given a huge amount of chocolate at Easter and Christmas which she is allowed some of and then normally forgets about.

so even if I serve sensible meal options and limited savoury snacks or fruit, the sheer amount of sugar she consumes feels so out of control sometimes.

There's also a lot around education (I don't mean in schools) and understanding too.

Eg I cooked from scratch for mine from weaning them. More than one person expressed concern that my homemade food wouldn't be as 'healthy' or as 'tasty' as the jarred baby food because they were going to be better and that's why they were sold.

People have largely been deskilled when it comes to cooking.

Parents are frightened of their children's discomfort, it is causing so so so many problems.

Unhealthy diets and less movement, as they are all attached to screens.

"Cretins" FFS!

What the hell's the matter with you?

It’s because people have got to comfortable with the term ‘baby fat’ - but it’s exactly that, baby fat.. for babies.. not your nearly primary school ages children who have the ability to actively run around and shed said baby fat.

it really riles me when people call clearly obese children ‘healthy’ or ‘it’s just baby fat’ - no, you child is over weight and if you don’t nip it in the bud now then they’ll be miserable for the rest of their lives with health issues, or yo-yo dieting to undo what you were lazy too.

By the same token, chicken thighs are way cheaper than breasts, often half but sometimes as little as a third of the price.
Using the most expensive cuts and out of season fruits to prove it’s too expensive to eat fresh food is nonsense.

That’s why I am in 2 minds with it.

I can remember when ds2 was in primary school and we were required to give permission for a health check, we could have declined but we had nothing to hide.

Due to his size he was considered morbidly obese, we had a nurse practitioner turn up at our home as apparently we needed immediate help with our child's diet…

He was already under consultant care and a dietitian because he had/has multiple life threatening allergies.

They were relentless, I think I spoke about it on here at the time, In the end we told them we would speak to his consultant and if they were concerned we would ask for input, his consultant told us he had absolutely no concerns.

It's not even as simple as saying it's cakes and biscuits. A pp stated ww2 generations didn't eat like that....... They most certainly did, but.... They were handmade and all meals were cooked from scratch with basic ingredients. They actually didn't have much fruit, certainly no juice. And constant snacking didn't exist. You don't need snacks. When I was a kid you disappeared for hours into the woods running around playing cowboys and Indians, with no food or drink. You came back for dinner because you were hungry and thirsty.

Stop snacking, stop feeding low quality fast food. Eat simply and well. Get out doors.

As a former Registered Dietitian, I am worried by a lot of things about the general confusion around obesity and healthy eating. For instance, the idea that a child's weight is judged as excessive if it's on the 90th+ centile(which some people seem to be saying) Comparing children with others of similar age isn't a scientific way to judge their health because in an underweight population, an actually underweight child would be judged as fine and a healthy weight child as overweight. I thought the idea was to look at the height and weight and they should match (more or less) So if a child is on the 90th centile for weight but the 20th for height, they are overweight. Also children's growth and development doesn't necessarily follow a linear path. for instance, boys have their growth spurts later than girls, so many boys are 'short', sometimes until they are 16+. Girls' have their growth spurt earlier and also tend to be at their 'fattest' in early puberty but they normalise later, as long as their diet and lifestyle are suitable.
And while being nasty to people (adults and especially children) who are overweight, si-called 'fat shaming, is cruel and ineffective, so is denying that an obviously overweight person has a problem. People's value as humans is not dependent on their body shape, but pretending that someone with an unhealthy weight is 'fine' and denying them any help is wrong. Sadly, there is a lot of healthy eating advice doled out by people working in schools and horrifyingly, sometimes by medical personnel, which is incorrect and can be harmful. It's better if parents get their advice from properly qualified people and try to see the general message behind 'healthy eating' advice, rather than getting stuck on one particular detail.

You’re too angry about this. It’s giving eating disorder

an obese 4 year old is not a safeguarding concern in any way. Don’t be ridiculous.

This, especially for our autistic kids. They rely on junk or will not eat. Ive tried. If it wasnt available every where then they would never have tasted it and had their safe foods become shit foods. It is sickening. I had all the ideas and was healthy eating but they consistenly will not try new things. Eldest has arfid. Losing a lot weight, she relies on white bread with cheese and sugar treats to get some calories in!

Both my children were overweight up to the age of 11 despite having relatively slim parents, home cooked mostly vegetarian meals and very limited sweets, chocs and cakes. They both did swimming, volleyball, rugby/netball and walked to school. At 11/12 as if by magic they both grew taller and lost lots of weight and both have been very slim and healthy since.
However, I don’t think parents should buy their kids junk food-it should be a very occasional thing, not daily.

No one is FORCED to eat anything. Fresh fruit and vegetables are probably more easily accessible and cheaper than at any time in human history.

£5 for strawberries? How many grams ?

id recommend trying your greengrocer or market. It’ll be half that. Especially if you plan on eating them pretty quickly.

or frozen berries and then low heat for 5 mins to drizzle on your yoghurt or granola.

£5 is madness

i used to get the shit ripped out of me at school as my parents never sent in cakes or sweets for the class for my birthday. they’d send me with big bags of satsumas or lychees. Meanwhile all the kids still scarfed them down.

made my own bread for a science project with sundried tomato and was accused of lying

I still love the smell of an old school health shop where you can scoop your own lentils 😅