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AIBU?

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Male / Female split of tasks in your relationship?

35 replies

BetterOffNow · 28/01/2026 12:35

Following the driving thread I just wondered how many people have tasks which they consider to be his or hers?
Both my partner and I had lived on our own for many years before living together so had to do all the jobs which means we both still do stuff as it needs doing without any 'that's my / your job'.
Obviously if there's something one of us is better at there's some wiggle room with this, but both of us are perfectly capable and willing to do anything which needs doing.

YABU - there are still traditional male / female jobs in our house
YANBU - anything goes, unless one partner has particular skills

OP posts:
youalright · 28/01/2026 12:58

I do more house stuff and childcare but he works a lot more hours then me so it evens out

CloakedInGucci · 28/01/2026 12:57

We have a couple of split jobs but not based on traditional male/female roles.

DH does the bins - that’s the thing I will not do.
I do anything car related, but DH can’t drive due to a disability so that’s why that is. I also do home insurance since we used to have it bundled with the car insurance so I just do both. DH does utilities just because that’s the other occasional admin task that needs looking at.

Everything else is done by either of us. I probably do a little more cooking. He does more laundry. Housework/cleaning is evenly split.

stargirl27 · 28/01/2026 12:56

In our house my DP cooks the majority of the big meals (he is a much better cook than I am) and I might do a few quicker meals. We do one 'deep clean' a week which we divide equally. Throughout the week we are both pretty equal on general tidying (dishwasher, laundry etc.) and both pick up after ourselves.

ComtesseDeSpair · 28/01/2026 12:55

DH and I just split our chores according to our strengths and maintain the common goal of always earning enough to outsource the parts neither of us want to do. I won’t cook so he does that; I quite like laundry so I do that. There isn’t, really, a lot of much to be done: it’s just the two of us.

If we’re doing a big DIY job like laying a patio then he’s more likely to be the one lifting and laying the slabs whilst I faff about with a rake, simply because he’s physically stronger.

magicalmadmadamim · 28/01/2026 12:51

It depends who is working the most. Currently he is working full time in a very physical job and i am working very little, mostly SAHM situation so i do everything at home but in the past i have worked more and he did all the home jobs and cooking.

thistimelastweek · 28/01/2026 12:47

Our division of labour falls into very stereotypical lines for the most part.
Suits me fine and truth is, he does far more than I do because I'm pretty lazy and he doesn't mind.

tealandteal · 28/01/2026 12:44

We tend to swap and swap about jobs, eg the same person doesn’t do the washing up every day it just depends who has time or isn’t sorting the kids out. Exemptions are:
Drilling - we share a lot of DIY tasks but I hate drilling
Dog stuff- I tend to do this as it’s my dog that needs more time/work

Sofado · 28/01/2026 12:41

DH does all the household tasks in the main.

TheNightingalesStarling · 28/01/2026 12:39

DH is in the Army. He's away a lot.

Hence the only real "Man" job is he deals with the taxes, mortgages, bills etc as he can do that from his work accommodation in the evening, while I deal with all the practical stuff like homework, cooking, bins, minor DIY etc.

NewYearNewMee · 28/01/2026 12:39

We have blue and pink jobs! Honestly it works for us, appreciate it doesn’t for everyone. If I was ill (and when I have been) DH has done the pink jobs too, same way I’ve done the blue when he was sick. I like not having to touch a bin and will happily designate anything I think is gross to a blue job 😂