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Original poster

Being treated better after losing weight - how true is it?

79 replies

ButIloveher · 28/01/2026 11:41

I’ve read it on here, and elsewhere one social media many times. Women say that they are treated better once they’ve lost weight.
I want to understand what’s going on with this. Is it that rude or abusive behaviour (like being stared at or laughed at) stops, or is it that positive behaviour increases (eg being complimented or flirted with). Or are people just low-level nicer all the time?

I am not fat enough to be particularly noticeable or a target for stares, and I am also not young and pretty enough for men to be interested in flirting with me, so it’s not like if I lost weight there would be a big change in my physical desirability.

So I’m wondering whether bog-standard-overweight, average-looking middle-aged women like me really notice a change in how they’re treated? Or is it just that young pretty women suddenly get noticed or very large women stop getting abuse?

OP posts:
blondebombsite13 · 28/01/2026 11:58

I’ve lost weight recently and I’ve noticed it.

Im mid 40s, probably look like a typical “mum”. I wasn’t enormous, but I was certainly frumpy with a large spare tyre around my tummy Blush

I’ve lost 2 stone and have noticed that :
/ male colleagues who I’ve worked with for years (but in different teams so don’t often interact) have started saying hello / smiling / initiating conversations like “good weekend?”

/ men stand back to let me off buses / trains etc first a lot more than bedore

/generally a lot more eye contact from men when walking down the street. Not that I want eye contact with random men, but you notice the difference when walking down the street and not meeting anybodies eye for the whole time, vs walking the same route 6 months later and locking eyes with 5+ men.

I haven’t noticed being treated any differently by women. But i definitely feel less invisible to men than I did before.

Disturbia81 · 28/01/2026 11:58

Of course being slimmer will make you more attractive no matter what your age is. How old are you? Why do you just think young people get attention.
It was a massive difference for me. Not just attention from men, but women wanting to be friends, talk to me, compliment me. The biggest difference is respect. When I was big people thought I was thick and not worthy of being treated with respect, got the piss taken out of me more, my opinion not listened to. Never any abuse though. As soon as the weight was gone, everyone wanted to talk to me and treat me as a human being.

5128gap · 28/01/2026 11:48

My personal view is that the more attractive you are the more you get the illusion of people being nice to you. Mostly arising from men being attracted to you so being nice, but also of women complimenting you, or seeing you as being simular to them if they are appearance conscious. I think you'd only see a difference if your weight impacts your attractiveness or if you are so overweight you stand out. Most average somewhat overweight women would get the same impact from getting fabulous hair and clothes than they would from losing a couple of stone.

Ukefluke · 28/01/2026 11:46

Cant say I have noticed.
There doesnt seem to be much differenence between middle aged and fat and middle aged and thin!
I feel great though!