Being treated better after losing weight - how true is it?

I have put on weight recently for various reasons including chocolate grief burn out and generally not caring etc. I’ve probably got two good stone to loose . However recently for my own pleasure I’ve bought nice new clothes , have my hair done and coloured, wear make up and nice lippy and look more put together than I have for a while I smile alot it’s my personality anyway and people treat me just fine and even at 60 I still get a few looks I think.

Lost 8.5 stone. Still overweight, but a size 16 and under 13st and continuing.

Yes, some people treat me differently. Mostly men.

Women are predominantly the same, although I do get the odd comment about it, mostly from women who would have been considered smaller than me before but are now either the same or larger. Mostly around not losing anymore, or something just ever so slightly off. Women who haven’t ever chased weightloss (that I know!) are much the same.

Men is significantly different. I see it mostly in work or business related areas and I work in a male dominated industry. Some are just more respectful and pay more attention in a polite way. Some men who I always had more of a platonic and jokey relationship are absolutely more serious with me - sometimes it feels like deference, some it is outright more flirtatious.

I would never ever have believed it before it happened to me though! And I do think my own confidence in myself makes a difference to how people react in response?

Not sure about treated better but it definitely changes the way some people react to you.

When my marriage ended I lost a lot of weight: over two stone. Not deliberately but through a combination of nervous anxiety and going out a lot and not eating much at all. I wasn’t anorexic but I wasn’t in a good place and my eating was very disordered.

I was quite shocked at how much people complimented me, while knowing full well I was in turmoil and depressed. Even at the time knew that my eating reflected my own feelings and the weight loss was not healthy and it shocked me that others saw it as a sign of health.

It shows how biased people are in favour of thinness.

I had a bmi of over 40 so morbidly obese. I was abused in the street, stared at, tutted at, had comments made behind my back and to my face

im now a size 14, still shrinking, and I’m treated totally differently on transport, in shops, restaurants etc. I can sit in Starbucks without pointed comments (and God forbid I’d be eating something). People actually talk to me as if I’m a human being now. I don’t get sniggered at or pointed comments made behind Yes I get totally different treatment

im knocking 60 so def not young and attractive!

I’m not sure! I’ve heard about ‘thin privilege’ but I don’t know whether it’s true or not. I’ve lost about 70kg so definitely enough for others to notice my size when I was bigger & my size now. I can’t say I’ve noticed a huge amount of difference but maybe I walk round with my ears & eyes shut.

Even when I was very overweight I was very lucky to be prettier with more weight than I am now so didn’t suffer in the horrendous ways described by others

However now I’m very slim and not as pretty (bony face) people are still even nicer to me than before so I conclude that there’s a fuck of a lot of privilege with being thin

my very best mate when pushed agreed that I wasn’t pretty like I was before so I know I’m not imagining it 😂

I’m so sorry you experienced that 😭 It reflects badly on them and shows what awful people they are. It had nothing to do with you.

I've lost 105lb and gone from 22 to 12/14 & I can't say I've noticed much difference.

Mind you I usually walk around with a huge grin on my face & chat to people a lot, so I usually get quite warm responses whatever my size.

I have noticed more men being flirty, but I ignore them 😁

It is true. Even if people don't treat you better, a lot of them THINK better of a slimmer person that a fat one.

At a size 18, I was well dressed, well groomed, very confident and outgoing with rock solid self-esteem.

At a size 8 I am well dressed, well groomed, very confident and outgoing with rock solid self-esteem.

People (both strangers and those who know me) treat me considerably better at size 8.

It’s well documented that overweight people, especially overweight women are discriminated against. Overweight people are less likely to be promoted, to gain leadership roles and are likely to be paid less than their slimmer colleagues.

I have no respect for colleagues and acquaintances who treat me with more respect because of my dress size. I am just as competent, educated and interesting at size 18 as at size 8. The difference is attitude is theirs not mine.

One of my biggest shocks was quite how unpleasantly and openly quite a lot of people talk about overweight people behind their backs.

I really, really object to the narrative that “it only seems like people are nicer to you because you’ve got nicer now you aren't a self loathing, envious fat cow”

People are nicer to thin people.
People are nicer to attractive people
People are nicer to younger people.

I’ve lost 6 stone going from a size 20 to a size 12/14.

I can’t say I’ve noticed but then I am incredibly antisocial and generally don’t engage with people, plus I work from home so I never actually see anyone.

It almost always does though
slim and healthy is more attractive than overweight or obese

Yep, at my biggest I was a size 24 too, had a car stop next to me at traffic lights and wind their windows down just so they could tell me how fat I was, several times men in white vans have shouted f’fat’ insults at me as I walked along the side of the road, many and varied comments by drunk blokes and women in pubs or on nights out, teenagers in shops…. It was nothing to do with my personality or how confidently I portrayed myself as these comments were made in a split second without ever interacting with me so they were purely based on the visual of my size and societies willingness to see fat people as less than and worthy of mockery.

Im a size 10/12 now at 42, after being obese from age 11- 41 and yes I am treated differently. It’s actually made me hate some people because they are suddenly nice to me after years of ignoring or dismissing me. I can’t help but see them as horrible, shallow, pathetic individuals worthy of my contempt.

Why is it weird? It’s true. They see her as worthy of their time and attention now. And they didn’t before.
It’s a shitty thing to do. To only chat and be pleasant to people you fancy. We should all be nice to each other.

Im so sorry you experienced all that. It’s horrendous.

I was obese for over a decade, it happened in a variety of places

Well, I lost nearly 8 stone (spousal bereavement stress) and I haven’t really noticed much difference in life.

Other than a huge clothes bill. 🙄

I don't know about that. I once worked with a guy who couldn't stand me, and he once got drunk and said it was because I was too confident and didn't "act" like a fat person. I've never lacked confidence, or physical ability. I ran half marathons while fat, I climbed mountains etc etc. I genuinely don't think my perception of myself or manners of bearing has changed. I think people do treat me differently though.

Bloody hell, that’s horrendous! Where do you live? Those men sound very low-class.

I’m 45 so not young, but I definitely get more attention when I’m slimmer.

I think it’s bc I’m more confident and dress better as well as aesthetics.

At my biggest, I was a size 24, very close to a 26. And I was either invisible or an object of ridicule to men. Complete strangers took time out of their days to mock, ridicule, insult and humiliate me. Things like shouting abuse from their cars, or as I walked past, I remember going to a football game one day and a guy jeering “here’s our BIGGEST supporter” as his mates laughed and made comments like “who’d fuck that”, comments like “beep beep, wide load coming”, I recall one man running up behind me, putting his hands on my hips, then holding his hands my hip-width apart and saying “fucking hell”, then asking his mates to guess how wide I was. A blind date told me he didn’t like fucking elephants.

I don’t get any such insults, ire or comments now that I’ve lost weight. I’m a size 14 now, so still have weight to lose. But I’m much smaller than I used to be.

People definitely are more pleasant and more helpful. It’s very clear. As a morbidly obese woman, I got used to being ignored, in fact I welcomed it, as it was better than being humiliated. It isn’t an issue anymore.

I’ve been a size 22 and a size 10/12. I’m tall so carry it well, but still look large. No one has ever said d anything rude to me, called me names, laughed whatever, but you oddly invisible (considering you are obviously bigger). So I think the niceness increases. People smile at you more, hold the door open for you more, just SEE you more. I’ve definitely felt excluded from some things because I don’t fit the mold (this from women). And I’ve also felt a change towards me when I’m no longer the fat one in the group. I don’t think people notice they are doing it - unconscious bias.

I’d it thst people are more upbeat etc after losing weight? So more content in themselves and that shows? I find if I eg dress up I walk more confidently and get treated better in eg shops than if I fall out of bed and drag myself in!!

Errrm, no so much from my perspective. But then I've never particularly worried about feeling invisible. I'm tall with a large bust, that hasn't changed, and although I don't barge into people, I also don't meekly stand aside either.

Although introverted and preferring solitude, I'm also pretty confident and sociable enough too. I've had no problem making friends with fellow parents, joining pre-existing friend groups etc.

Can't say I noticed a difference when losing weight.

Weird language. They may see her as attractive now, when they didn't before. It's not about being worthy.