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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Giving money to adult children?

243 replies

Menonut · 28/01/2026 11:20

I don’t want to jump on the Beckham bandwagon but I’ve just read that Nicola Peltz receives an allowance of $1 million a month! Surely that’s insane?
What motivation has she got to go out and achieve anything for herself when she can basically sit on her backside and receive that.
Is that madness or AIBU?

I understand wanting to help your children and do the very best for them, and we will help our son as much as we can to get his foot on the ladder, but surely a time comes when they’ve got to be self sufficient and stand on their own two feet?

I’ve always like Peter Jones’s approach to this. He said he will double his kids earned income so if that income is 0 they will receive 0. If they choose a role that is in the charity sector or the NHS for example the amount he gives them will be increased. This means they are not scraping a living on minimum wage, but they have a purpose to their life.

OP posts:
Soonenough · 28/01/2026 18:43

Who else is he going to give it to ? I wonder do her seven siblings get the same amount? And I think he has other kids too . Once she not spending on drugs then so what . Working for a living is overrated. Plus a house in Hollywood areas could be as much as $20 million .

Coffeeishot · 28/01/2026 18:29

Zanatdy · 28/01/2026 17:35

She goes to a private school in the UK. Well last I heard she did, as I know someone who has a child in same school. Will be a lot less strict on attendance for these kind of things.

Yeah i imagine children of famous/rich parents sometimes have different lives to other kids,

HoskinsChoice · 28/01/2026 18:29

Dragonscaledaisy · 28/01/2026 18:06

It would never go to the state because there are too many ways to ensure it doesn't.

Of course it would if inheritance tax wasn't avoided. It's a tax. Tax pays for state funded services.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 28/01/2026 18:27

DH and I are retiring this year and absolutely plan to start offloading our money, no better way than helping our young adult DC and potential GC. One is in a grad job and the other at uni (both have no debt) so it will be house deposits, weddings etc. Even just regular gifting to drip feed our money away as part of IHT planning. I’d rather they had it over the next 10-20 years than when we’re old or deceased. PIL sat on lots of money all their lives, it’s now going on carehome fees and IHT. If I get to 80 with little left I’ll take my chances. Spend it, pass it on early and die with zero!

PurplGirl · 28/01/2026 18:19

ComtesseDeSpair · 28/01/2026 11:42

Disregarding the fact that we’re talking about a family who appear reasonably dysfunctional; I think it’s up to parents. I don’t personally believe in there being some kind of moral virtue in “earning” money, it’s just what most of us have to do if we want any. If you don’t need to earn it, and aren’t particularly fussed about achieving any sort of great pursuit, that’s fine.

This! Most of us wouldn’t work if we didn’t have to. We can spend our time well in all sorts of different ways (volunteering, care giving, being creative/pursuing sports) or simply just being here. Our value and worth as a person is not dependent on our jobs/how we earn money.

Dragonscaledaisy · 28/01/2026 18:06

cupfinalchaos · 28/01/2026 18:02

Well I agree with you about handing it to future generations but lots on here don’t. Many think it should go to the state.

It would never go to the state because there are too many ways to ensure it doesn't.

cupfinalchaos · 28/01/2026 18:02

KnickerlessParsons · 28/01/2026 12:04

A) there’s probably an accounting/tax reason for giving her money
B) if I had £1m a month for myself and another £1m a month going spare, for sure I’d give it to my children! Isn’t the point point of making money to hand it down to future generations?

Well I agree with you about handing it to future generations but lots on here don’t. Many think it should go to the state.

youalright · 28/01/2026 17:57

I don't agree with Peter Jones approach working in a caring role should be done because you're a caring person not to get more money we already have to many people in these roles who shouldn't be. What Nicole peltz parents do if true is also ridiculous there should be a happy medium

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 28/01/2026 17:53

Xenia · 28/01/2026 17:52

I wouldn't believe a lot of what is published by people gossiping.
In terms of what to give adult children however that is up to each family. I have paid for university fees for our 5 (so no student loans) and helped with a first property - all 5 chidlren now own a house. Now it is up to them (2 live at home rent free still but that is fine by me for now and they are the youngest). My parents' view and mine was to pay for education and then you make your own way. My parents paid our school fees from age 3 - 18 and university costs. I have done the same for my children too.

Your youngest two own a house but still live at home?

Xenia · 28/01/2026 17:52

I wouldn't believe a lot of what is published by people gossiping.
In terms of what to give adult children however that is up to each family. I have paid for university fees for our 5 (so no student loans) and helped with a first property - all 5 chidlren now own a house. Now it is up to them (2 live at home rent free still but that is fine by me for now and they are the youngest). My parents' view and mine was to pay for education and then you make your own way. My parents paid our school fees from age 3 - 18 and university costs. I have done the same for my children too.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 28/01/2026 17:48

CompetitionMyArse · 28/01/2026 17:45

I'm sure there are, but difference does that make? What kind of conditions would put you off saying yes to 1m a month? And if she doesn't like the conditions she's perfectly capable of saying no to the money.

It makes no difference to me, OP mentioned Peter Jones giving money with conditions like it was different, so I simply asked how they knew this didn't have conditions attached.

CompetitionMyArse · 28/01/2026 17:45

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 28/01/2026 11:21

How do you know there aren't conditions on the money she gets?

I'm sure there are, but difference does that make? What kind of conditions would put you off saying yes to 1m a month? And if she doesn't like the conditions she's perfectly capable of saying no to the money.

FuzzyWolf · 28/01/2026 17:45

Surely it’s no different to having a trust fund which is relatively normal in affluent circles.

Dragonscaledaisy · 28/01/2026 17:43

User74939590 · 28/01/2026 12:06

I’m in my 40s and had an allowance until I was married.

Not quite that much a month though 😂

My SIL has had an allowance all her life plus a London town house bought for her in her twenties worth several million. She just isn't suited to working for various reasons.

Gall10 · 28/01/2026 17:40

MidWayThruJanuary · 28/01/2026 11:40

And there was Harper Beckham in Paris yesterday with a Chanel handbag (probably her mother's of course). Does she ever go to school for a full week?

She won’t need an education or qualifications…mummy Vicki will subsidise anything she needs until she marries another nepo boy-babe of a minor celeb or footballer.

99pwithaflake · 28/01/2026 17:36

I'm 37, married, own my home and run my own business - and my parents still send me money - not every month, but probably 2-3 times a year, on and "as and when" basis.

I have autism and can't cope working full-time so while I don't strictly need it, I very much appreciate it.

Zanatdy · 28/01/2026 17:35

Coffeeishot · 28/01/2026 12:19

I would imagine she has "tutors" or goes to private school in the US where rich children are in and out of school all the time.

She goes to a private school in the UK. Well last I heard she did, as I know someone who has a child in same school. Will be a lot less strict on attendance for these kind of things.

Oopsylazy · 28/01/2026 17:33

It’s all relative isn’t it? Nicola Peltz’s family are billionaires and her lifestyle probably costs a fortune.

We give dd at uni £200 per week and some people probably find that terrible!

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 28/01/2026 17:31

I've told my adult dc that should I win the lottery, they will get enough to do something but not enough to do nothing.
We all need purpose in life

Letty186 · 28/01/2026 17:17

It’s all relative. Her dad is worth 1.6billion, at 5% he’s earning 80 million a year…. And has made her accustomed to a certain way of life.

He may as well pass it on now, gifts out of regular income don’t attract inheritance tax …..

Jiski · 28/01/2026 17:07

If you have as much money as her and her family does she never needs to work a day in her life so she doesn’t have to achieve anything unless she wants to. If she doesn’t achieve something you’ll know she cares and is actually passionate about something.

When I achieve something it’s because I have to pay the mortgage and need to be paid.

I would love to not have to achieve anything. I’d love an easy life, so I can’t complain when someone has my dream life for living theirs.

gototogo · 28/01/2026 16:40

I heard this too, and apparently he was bemused David beckham wasn’t giving his kids as large handouts. I think the children of wealthy families should work whether that’s learning the family business eg business school then doing the jobs in the business starting in the post room, or find their own way with a bit more financial support perhaps eg Jamie Oliver’s daughter is a nurse I read, good on her!

ThisCyanPoet · 28/01/2026 16:36

I don’t think she gets that much, who could spend that every month.

She is definitely given a hefty allowance though and is a super spoilt little princess.

She’ll drop Brooklyn as soon as she’s bored and daddy will probably sue him for whatever reason she feels displeased about. I also think she is pregnant and she’s used it to leverage him cutting off his family.

Connemaraa · 28/01/2026 15:51

MidWayThruJanuary · 28/01/2026 11:40

And there was Harper Beckham in Paris yesterday with a Chanel handbag (probably her mother's of course). Does she ever go to school for a full week?

She’ll be wheeled out more and more now to repair Brand Beckham - poor Harper.

Morepositivemum · 28/01/2026 15:16

I work, my job is t my purpose or reason for getting up in the morning- if I win the lottery tomorrow I’d chuck it in and even if I had no kids or pets would still get up for a hobby, help out with charity work. A job is only most people’s purpose because it’s forced into them

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