Giving money to adult children?

My parents didn’t give me any money. I left home at 16. In fact my mother stole birthday money from me frequently (that other family members had given me) and I even ended up paying for her outfit for my wedding.

My DS hasn’t been able to get a job since leaving university last year despite over 300 applications. He receives £25/month UC. So we do give him a small amount each week. He’s desperate to work but can’t even get anything in a cafe, shop or bar. He has a disability so I think that’s not helping. Maybe I’m soft but I know he does appreciate the help. I am possibly compensating for my parents lack of support.

I’ve told him he can buy us a yacht when he’s rich!

It is not insane. An adult child of a multi-billionaire probably needs £1m per month to live a life that is normal for them. Their “normal” is very difficult for others to imagine. A monthly allowance is better that giving, say, £500m in a lump sum as it least the parents can keep an eye on things.

This, for me too

Yeah, exactly.
Maybe it was 'If you marry a Beckham you'll get $1mil a month. If you don't marry a Beckham you'll get $10mil a month....' Or summat.

Nothing's wrong with it.

MN just has a weird attitude about money in general, and people who don't work full-time. It's very odd.

No one is going to be happy being handed 1 mill a month! Their dopamine system is dead and ain’t ever coming back.

Amazing the parents didnt realise that. And interesting because the peltz dad came from nothing, left school at 16, became a truck driver. But maybe that’s why. Never seen what money young can do.

It's all relative isn't it - a millionaire could give their daughter a £1k/month allowance and no one would comment - so a billionaire gives £1m!

I probably would too, I also don't see the superiority in working for the sake of it. The approach raised above of doubling salaries earned I think falls down there - I'd rather my child were a devoted, hardworking, caring doctor or teacher or academic for the good of the world, than a banker just so I'd make their 500k into 1m.

Most of us work to pay the bills and exist in the world - if I were a billionaire I would love to remove this burden from my children

Out of interest.. what's people's obsessions with getting out and doing things for yourself? I'm not being funny, but if you had the money to allow your kids to live the life of their dreams, wouldn't you give it to them? It enables her to do exactly as she wants to do - modelling, acting, charity work - as well as travelling across the world.

I don't understand the hate towards people who have things given to them.. other than jealousy.

If I had money, I would be able to do things that I believe in, rather than just working to earn.

What's wrong with that?

You can't have a go at someone who is a billionaire for giving their daughter an allowance relative to their billions in the bank in 1 breath and then say "but we will help our son to get his foot on the ladder", it's the same thing, only what you are giving is relative to what you have in the bank. What's the difference?

My parents didn't give me a house deposit nor did my in-laws (my in-laws could have afforded to) we just saved hard didn't have a holiday abroad for 6 years in our 20's. I'm not a better person for not having a holiday for 6 years, in fact it would have been lovely to have nice holidays together before we had children and could go wherever we like. Why not let your son save for his own house so he can learn how to work and save hard? Oh no you don't want to because you want to help him, much like the person with billions wants to help their child.

If you are a rich kid you are hardly going to get a job as a nurse or something, why would you? You don't take your money with you so why not pass it onto your children whilst you're still here? Who cares if they don't have careers or drive to be sucessful, they don't need it, their bills are paid for life, life is 1 big holiday.

Unless your rich parent/s hate you or disowned you, why shouldn you live on their money??? This is why the rich have kids, to give them the money. What else. Give it to King

I don’t think Nicole is an example of someone drifting in life without purpose.. who are you to judge?

So if you were a billionaire, what would you give your kids per month? Bearing in mind it’s probably done for tax reasons

Would you also be embarrassed to be able to help your own children in the future?

We worked hard to ensure our two children were comfortable. We only had two children as we knew we couldn’t really afford any more. They’ve never gone without but both know that nothing in life is free and we set a good example to them. If you want something then you have to work for it. We always saved for holidays, cars etc. We have credit cards but always pay them off in full each month. We also have savings. We recently downsized and the equity (a 6 figure sum) was shared between the children (one wanted to pay into their mortgage whilst the other bought a bigger house). They both have 4 children each. We’ve taken them in many holidays, mainly Orlando as we love it there. We get a huge amount of pleasure in seeing our children and grandchildren enjoying life with our help. If I was very rich I’d give more. What is the point of having it in the bank.

If you won the Euromillions would you still continue to work? I know I wouldn’t. You can find purpose in life without having to go to work. I’d be very fulfilled travelling and perusing hobbies, much more so than I am in my job. I do that to pay the bills and be able to do the things I want to. Billionaires kids just win the lottery from birth. If I won the lottery I’d give a large share to my daughter. With that kind of money she wouldn’t have to work. I think most people would share their wealth in a situation like a large lottery win. They’re doing the same, basically, just with a larger sum.

i only have one so it makes it much easier to them out

I got my late parents to give what would have been my inheritance to him

this enabled to buy a house with a small mortgage in an expensive city and still have a fair bit left over
he paid of any debt he had as well

while i don’t give him a set amount of money each month , i do help him on unexpected bills as I think it’s the unexpected bills are the hardest to deal with

you can be going along nicely with everything going fine and then you get a big bill for a boiler or car and it can set you back months

so last year he had a few car bills that came to around 3k so I paid for it He didn’t ask I offered

i have just paid to have his gearbox serviced and the MOT which is around 800

I paid for him and his partner to come on holiday with us for a week

Im planning on giving him 500 - 1k when he goes on holiday later in the year

Ive paid for a lot of the stuff in his and his partner home, new carpets, beds garden furniture and I gave them 2k when they moved in to buy white goods

But I don’t interfere I just say oh here is xxx for you both to get xxx

I don’t think it’s helpful to give your kids everything. I’m not wealthy but some of my friends and acquaintances are. There are a couple of families who have indulged their kid’s every whim and if anything was a bit difficult, they stepped in and sorted it it out. They had houses given to them and nice cars-but they will never know the satisfaction or pride of knowing they’d achieved something themselves. They don’t have jobs-they don’t need to. Another wealthy friend educated their children and have helped with house deposits and towards weddings. However, they feel very strongly they are not going to fund lifestyle-that if their child wants nice things, they work for it. Their kids worked to fund travelling. I think the have done a wonderful job as parents. Their kids are privileged but are expected to be productive and have purpose in life. Their kids others-not so much.

If you're a billionaire or their family you do not live in the real world. A million a month is nothing because he'll have huge investments that keep bringing in more hoarded wealth, it's an obscene thing but they wouldn't worry about her achieving her own life because why would she need to?

We help our kids out, one is currently renovating and we're lent him the money rather than have him take out a mortgage or a loan, it doesn't make sense for them to be paying interest when they can borrow from us. They're making regular large payments back and we know that they can afford it.
We've helped all the children out with buying houses and some with a cars over the years, they're all reliable when it comes to making repayments.
I sometimes worry that they should have done it all themselves, but life is much more expensive now than it was when we were younger. Some people think that it is character forming to struggle, but there comes a point when however much you struggle you can't live a good life. As @PixellatedPixie said "instead i was trapped in a cycle of paying for the mortgage and childcare".

Because they both get given enough money to live on from parents, no wonder neither of them have successful careers. They have no incentive. I’d be embarrassed to admit I was taking money from my parents as an adult.

I don't subscribe to the view that supporting your kids financially reduces their motivation to work. Work should not just be about making enough money to survive but doing something that interests you and you care about. Helping our children find their calling or to put it another way how they want to spend their life productively starts young. We need to support them in making decisions about what they want to do in life, helping them get exposure to different options, without demanding they do what we consider to be good for them. Kids that develop an early ability to evaluate options and make their own choices become more competent and independent adults. This is more important than money. It is also very important that kids learn about money - how to manage it, to budget and as soon as possible to invest. Those parents who have the resources can make it possible for their kids to study for many years without financial concerns or to for example start a business while still being able to live independently. Others may be able to follow a similar path but it will be a lot harder and compromises may need to be made to ensure they have sufficient income to survive thereby limiting their options.

I think that giving a child huge amounts of money doesn’t limit what they will do necessarily because people who are born into huge wealth actually have more opportunities to do whatever they want than all the rest of us. If money was no object I could set up a charity, study anything at all or even buy into a an existing company that i think is brilliant but instead i was trapped in a cycle of paying for the mortgage and childcare.

Who is Nicholas peltz sorry

I've never thought about that. Did Brooklyn attend school, I wonder?

Peter Jones sounds very sensible, and if I’m ever rich enough to give my adult dc an allowance that’s what I’ll do!

We have helped our kids out with money towards rent when they were at uni and house deposits, but I wouldn’t want them to have the opportunity to sit on their arses and do nothing useful.