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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you leave?

37 replies

Daisychain67 · 28/01/2026 10:39

I’ve been with my partner for around 13 years. We were teenagers when we got together and are both turning 30 this year. We were in a long distance relationship for around 6 years where I went to him every single weekend. Our relationship has been really turbulent with him not treating me very nicely at the start, being unfaithful and generally a teenage boy. He’s grown out of allot of his bad traits but still doesn’t treat me how I want to be treated.

We have never been on a date, we have never been on a night out, never really done anything together apart from taking our DD to the cinema a couple of times a year or holidays that his rich brother books for us. I’ve told him endless times that I want to go out and I want us to have fun together. I don’t have any friends as we all went our separate ways after school and I got with him straight away.

He constantly says he’ll do better but anytime it’s raised it turns into an argument, he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them.
I feel like my life has been nothing and I’m turning 30 this year and have absolutely no memories of my late teens and 20’s.

What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 28/01/2026 11:04

OF COURSE I would leave. What a needlessly miserable life for both you and your dd. I would have left about 1 week in tbf. Life is so wonderful, enjoy it. I have no idea why you wouldn’t leave.

Wishimaywishimight · 28/01/2026 11:02

If you stay you are throwing your life away on this loser - can you imagine another 50 / 60 years of living like this? What a waste of your 20s! Don't make the same mistake with your 30s / 40s etc.

ACatAsleepInYourHat · 28/01/2026 10:58

"He constantly says he’ll do better but anytime it’s raised it turns into an argument, he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them."

He's still the immature boy who treated you so unkindly at the start of your relationship. He hasn't grown up and I doubt he ever will. To put it less politely, why the hell are you still with this fuck-witted manchild?

Balaciette · 28/01/2026 10:54

teaandtoastwouldbenice · 28/01/2026 10:53

Whether you leave him or not you need to start living your life with you daughter and having fun together. You don’t need him to go out, she’ll need more than a couple of cinema trips. Go places, do things, see things, experience things.

This. You sound very passive OP. Why haven’t you booked days out or dates?

Missj25 · 28/01/2026 10:54

Daisychain67 · 28/01/2026 10:39

I’ve been with my partner for around 13 years. We were teenagers when we got together and are both turning 30 this year. We were in a long distance relationship for around 6 years where I went to him every single weekend. Our relationship has been really turbulent with him not treating me very nicely at the start, being unfaithful and generally a teenage boy. He’s grown out of allot of his bad traits but still doesn’t treat me how I want to be treated.

We have never been on a date, we have never been on a night out, never really done anything together apart from taking our DD to the cinema a couple of times a year or holidays that his rich brother books for us. I’ve told him endless times that I want to go out and I want us to have fun together. I don’t have any friends as we all went our separate ways after school and I got with him straight away.

He constantly says he’ll do better but anytime it’s raised it turns into an argument, he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them.
I feel like my life has been nothing and I’m turning 30 this year and have absolutely no memories of my late teens and 20’s.

What would you do in this situation?

Jesus , you’re lovely & young .
Leave now .
He doesn’t want to go out because you’re too good looking & he will get in a fight !
Wtf are you wasting your life with this idiot for .
You can & will do better x

teaandtoastwouldbenice · 28/01/2026 10:53

Whether you leave him or not you need to start living your life with you daughter and having fun together. You don’t need him to go out, she’ll need more than a couple of cinema trips. Go places, do things, see things, experience things.

Rainbowsandlollipops1 · 28/01/2026 10:53

Also I would reach out for counselling after dumping him, staying with someone who treats you like this for half your life is worrying and there must be self esteem issues to work on moving forward x

MidWayThruJanuary · 28/01/2026 10:52

Leave the loser.

Rainbowsandlollipops1 · 28/01/2026 10:52

What do you think we’re going to say?

I think you’re mad to put up with this for so long to be honest

Morepositivemum · 28/01/2026 10:50

if you say everything you say here what does he say? Do you think you still love him?

Daytimenighttime · 28/01/2026 10:49

Honestly OP he will continue to treat you just how he wants to as long as he knows you will put up with it. Which you have so far.

You are worth so much more. So don't let this man spoil any more of your life.

Why not start by finding out how you would cope financially without him, and what life could look like if you ended your relationship?

dermalermalurd · 28/01/2026 10:41

You only get one life, do you really want to hand it over to this loser? You let him treat you badly at the start and there is no way he is going to change now. Free yourself, while you are still young.