Would you leave?

I can't add anything to this advice other than

L T B

I'd stop wasting my life.

You've tried talking to him. He isn't interested.

He has a litany of disgusting traits and red flags.

Literally the best ypu can hope for staying with him is more of the same.

You haven't experienced the wider world which is why you're scared. But if you did you'd be horrified of being with him.

Get the hell out, away from this idiot

” I would have left one week In to be fair “ 🙄 isn’t a fair comment to make ! Not helpful at all in fact .
Not everyone’s a hero you know , I’m sure she’s scared , he’s all she has known .
It’s hard to be strong sometimes.
I didn’t leave til I was 40 .
Good for you , clearly never having a grey cloud in your life , well that’s what I’m guessing from your post .
You could be a little more understanding.
OP is nice & young , she’s finding her strength .
She’ll get there too , hopefully sooner rather than later 🤞

So you have been together 13 years and say he has never treated you how you wanted to be treated...

And you are with him because??? Actions are the data you need to make decisions,not empty words. He has shown you who he is over the last 13 years imo, its not going to suddenly improve.

I can't imagine a single reason you might have got wanting to stay with this idiot. He's never going to change, never be the man you want or deserve.

You're giving your daughter a terribly example of what an adult, romantic relationship should look like.

Leave, as soon as you possible can. Do it for you. Do it for your DD. Go and enjoy your lives.

he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them

What on earth are you doing with this revolting man?

OP, this isn't a normal relationship. At all. It is not normal never to have been on a date in 13 years with your partner. It is not normal to have a long distance relationship for 6 years during which you're treated like shit the whole time. Repeatedly cheating is not normal behaviour, even for a lad in his late teens.

It is absolutely NOT in any way normal, or acceptable, to be incapable of going out with one's spouse without being so insanely jealous that fights might break out.

This is beyond insane.

When he treats you so badly and you know it, why do you want to stay with him ?

You should leave him and refuse to be taken in when he starts love bombing you as an attempt to get you back. He will never change but he may out on a mask to stop you leaving him.

You are young. You don’t need him. Focus on yourself and your DC.

Also, book some therapy to help you understand why you put up with this loser for so long.

Does he go out with friends?

If your DD were to come to you, years from now and presented you with this situation and asked your advice, what would say? Do that.

I haven't read your other threads but this one is bad enough! The question isn't should you leave it's why wouldn't you leave?! What do you gain from being in this relationship?

Your partner should be the person who cares for you, loves being in your company, lifts you up and is your cheerleader, your team-mate in life and your soft place to fall at the end of the day. The person you turn to for comfort, advice and loving support. The person you have fun with, laugh with and plan adventures with. The person you look forward to seeing.

If he isn't this person (and it really sounds like he's not!) then he is not someone you should be in a relationship with. You've wasted enough of your life with him already. You deserve better.

Run, run, run. As fast as you can. You deserve better.

Your first paragraph was enough, but honestly, reading the rest of it…what is your reason for staying?

After seeing comments about your previous threads I had a look.

JFC OP - you do realise he’s a lying cheating jealous insecure controlling abusive deluded cunt don’t you?

30 is the year you took your life back. You decided never to compromise your hopes and aspirations for a shit relationship. The year you decided never to be with a shitty man child ever again.

Just quoting my own post now that I have read your other threads which confirm what I thought.

So this delight of a gentleman has previously been unfaithful, moved out, then you've taken him back, he "raps" (ick) about how other women want him and how attractive they are and, although he doesn't allow you to go out, he goes out with his friends a lot?

You do know he's probably cheating on you don't you? Men (and I use that term loosely) like this never change.

The reason he doesn't want you to go out is because he knows when him and his mates go out that they are looking for a shag. And therefore thinks all men are like him.

You’ve wasted you many good years on this loser. Please don’t waste any more

@Daisychain67 I have just seen the amount of threads you have made about this man in the last month. Seriously... Come on. He sounds like an absolute fucking prick.

Have you got mates? Can you afford to go out? What is your working and financial position?
Does he go out?

You deserve to enjoy your life. This loser is just dragging you down

Just leave. He sounds absolutely pathetic and abusive. He thinks he can stop you from ever having friends or doing anything fun by saying he'll get violent with strangers if you go anywhere with him? Yeah that's reasonable.

Stupid arsehole. Don't wasn't another minute with him. Just tell him straight, my life with you is a pointless misery. You have no redeeming features and you don't care about my feelings whatsoever. So we're splitting up.

he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them.

WTF?! This is really not the compliment you probably think it is. Also, men who think like this generally do so because of how THEY behave. As in, HE probably goes out to perve on other women.

Actually I’ve worked out my own question of ‘why wouldn’t you leave’. It must be because you’re scared, you’ve never adulted alone. I can promise you, from someone who has lived a lot longer, adulting alone will be approximately 1 trillion times a nicer life than this. And, you can make sure your dd doesn’t waste her 20s on a man who isn’t good enough the same way you have.

Can you support yourself? Do you have a job and colleagues? If so I'd start going out with them. It isn't up to your partner. He isn't your boss or your owner.

If you are a sahm, leaving may be a bit more complicated but yes, I would leave. You've spent more than a decade having no fun and no real life at all. That is no way to live.

OP, my relationship with my DDs father was the same as yours. Met as teens, he never took me on a date or anything like that. We were together for 17 years. I remember saying to my best friend, at the beginning (she still is), “What if I am still with him in 10 years”, and I was. Shame on me!

Anyway when I was 30 and DD was 3, I had an epithany and finished with him for good! I am 59 now, and I have never met a man as useless as that one, since!

End it today and do something nice for your 30th!