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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Toned and strong people…how?

59 replies

Yoheresthestory · 28/01/2026 07:36

I run and am fit but I know I need S&C. I just hate it and cannot get myself to do even 20mins of weights etc. I’ve a lovely gym at home and could sign up for classes somewhere, though it’s tough to coordinate timings so I’d love to get into something at home.

AIBU to think I can find a workout that both gets me stronger AND becomes part of my routine so I don’t dread it? Do some of you actually enjoy your S&C sessions?

to see a difference, could 20mins 3 times a week ever work and if so, what workout would give me toned upper body and strong legs and butt?

OP posts:
Waitingfordoggo · 28/01/2026 10:46

Thecows · 28/01/2026 10:13

I love body pump, I know many will say it's too lightweight but you need to do something you enjoy. I love the music and the social element of the classes

BP is great for building muscular endurance- but many people will also find it leads to a little muscle growth too (especially people who have never done any weight training at all). Have you tried BP Heavy? It’s a new Les Mills format- as the name suggests, it’s a lot like BP but you can go heavier because it’s much slower and much fewer reps. Not many gyms are offering it yet as it’s so new, but it’s available on the LM online platform for those who have enough weights at home.

And no, I don’t work for LM! But I do teach BP and BP Heavy among others.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 28/01/2026 10:43

Hyrox and CrossFit are just slightly different variations on circuit training by the way. And often a good deal more expensive than Pure Gym.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 28/01/2026 10:39

But I'd say go to circuit training if you like cardio. Something like Burn at Pure Gym.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 28/01/2026 10:38

I'm toned and fit but have no idea what S&C is.

SpinandSing · 28/01/2026 10:32

Yoheresthestory · 28/01/2026 07:36

I run and am fit but I know I need S&C. I just hate it and cannot get myself to do even 20mins of weights etc. I’ve a lovely gym at home and could sign up for classes somewhere, though it’s tough to coordinate timings so I’d love to get into something at home.

AIBU to think I can find a workout that both gets me stronger AND becomes part of my routine so I don’t dread it? Do some of you actually enjoy your S&C sessions?

to see a difference, could 20mins 3 times a week ever work and if so, what workout would give me toned upper body and strong legs and butt?

Have you looked at doing strength training that supports your running? That might make you feel more commitment to it as the low intensity can be hard for a cardio junkie! I recommend the Sling Method - it's all about running technique plus strength training that supports this movement.

Tonissister · 28/01/2026 10:28

OP, start slowly. Take an 8kg kettlebell or a dumbell between 5 and 10kg and do the 8 minute Kettlebells with Amy free workout on Youtube. You know you can work out for 8 minutes. Then do it again next day. After 2 weeks, you'll feel it is too easy and then you could move on to some other workouts. the trick is to choose the short ones. 10 minutes a day is enough to make a difference.

I love Leo Moves for body-weight only and he combines it with ultra-agility which is great fun to try. Some people (not me0 swear by Caroline Girvan if you want to become superstrong. And there are loads of other weight lifting and bodyweight workouts.

Top tip for getting the hang of pressups: take one of those wide elastic loops that are used for thigh exercises, and put it over your upper arms, just above the elbows. It becomes a springy hammock for your bodyweight as you go down into and back out of the press up. Helps keep perfect form while building strength. Way better than knee press ups.

DuchessofStaffordshire · 28/01/2026 10:21

MeridaBrave · 28/01/2026 09:30

There is no such thing as “toned”. All it means is low enough bodyfat to see muscle definition. If you don’t have decent amount of muscle no amount of fat loss will help. Some people have genetics that they have good muscle mass from every day activities and others need to be more conscious about building muscle.

Exactly, all muscles have tone otherwise we'd all be a floppy mess on the floor. Tone just refers to the extent that muscles are 'switched on' by the nervous system in order to move and carry out daily tasks. I think people are referring to hypertrophy. And yes, you're right. You'll only see muscle, and feel firmer, by loosing fat and building muscle.

Thecows · 28/01/2026 10:13

I love body pump, I know many will say it's too lightweight but you need to do something you enjoy. I love the music and the social element of the classes

MajorProcrastination · 28/01/2026 10:08

Do it with a friend or your partner. Spot for each other. Natter between sets. While you rest between sets, she lifts then vice versa. Keep a track of your progress and programme on an app like Hevy so you can see how the weights are increasing and you can diversify the S&C you're doing.

Or if it's not convenient to buddy up, I listen to my audiobook while I'm doing mine so I'm not getting bored.

Notarealblonde · 28/01/2026 09:40

For me its a mix of genetics and diet.
but i also weight train 4x a week as well as spin 3x. I also walk 10000 steps a day.

i Am VERY toned.

RayKray · 28/01/2026 09:37

Yes I adore strength training. I love it so much I became a powerlifter. 20 mins 3 times a week is better than nothing but it’s not going to do very much. If you want to like it more I’d suggest working with a personal trainer to show you what to do and maybe you’ll enjoy it more. Or not. It’s not for everyone.

andfinallyhereweare · 28/01/2026 09:31

I do row reformer classes some rowing machine some Pilates it’s a killer but a treat work out

MeridaBrave · 28/01/2026 09:30

There is no such thing as “toned”. All it means is low enough bodyfat to see muscle definition. If you don’t have decent amount of muscle no amount of fat loss will help. Some people have genetics that they have good muscle mass from every day activities and others need to be more conscious about building muscle.

Pizzatrip · 28/01/2026 09:26

BraceFace92 · 28/01/2026 08:49

A bit different, but if you have a climbing gym near you bouldering and rock climbing are excellent ways to get toned. I love the mental challenge of trying to work out how I’m going to climb the route as well as the physical challenge, so never get bored.

Was going to suggest this. I swapped weights at the gym for bouldering 18 months ago and have never been so strong and toned in my life. Plus it’s very sociable which is a bonus.

Heartofmetal · 28/01/2026 09:24

Have you looked at/considered CrossFit? It’s great fun and with a mix of high intensity cardio, gymnastics and strength training in short, max effort bursts in a group setting. It’s for everyone at all levels and you’ll see quick results if you have a good base level of fitness and stick in.

Oneborneverydecade · 28/01/2026 09:17

In the past year I've discovered I enjoy strength training in the gym. I have a weekly PT and go 4 or 5x per week plus walking and 1 step class.

I worked in housekeeping for 2 years and whilst it kept my weight down and helped with mobility it definitely didn't leave me looking toned.

HorrorFan81 · 28/01/2026 09:13

I used to be a runner and was tiny, but not much muscle. Now I am all about weight lifting with a side of running (and lots of walking) and SO much stronger with good muscle tone. I got myself into a really good routine at the gym which was the key for me. Just a non negotiable part of my week. I listen to a podcast whilst I work out and enjoy my alone time.
I was going 3 days, full body, 45 mins but just moved to 4 days, 2x upper, 2x lower, 45 mins and definitely feeling an improvement in strength already

phoenixrosehere · 28/01/2026 09:07

OvernightBloats · 28/01/2026 08:20

You don't need a gym, just incorporate more activity into your life. As much variety as possible. Housework is a great one to keep you toned. Also gardening is another example.

I am toned from walking, cycling, taking the stairs as much as possible, carrying shopping home, housework, gardening, not relying on machines to do stuff etc.

Look at photos of people in the past - they were mostly toned - but no sign of a gym. Their lives were a lot more physical and they did many more manual jobs.

There is a caveat though - it can depend on your body type. Some people muscle up a lot easier than others. I am one of them - not the bulky type of muscle but defined.

Agree with this.

I’ve done strength training in the gym off and on for years when I could afford to but most of my toning is from everyday things. I don’t drive so if I go to a shop, I’m carrying things back in my arms with a backpack (typically a 20 min walk from there to home) With cleaning, there is a lot of bending, picking up, shifting things. Vacuuming the stairs involving carrying the entire vacuum up and down so I can vacuum the other levels (we have two floors and the vacuum resides on the middle floor).

I also do my own gardening and landscaping.

Picking up a wiggly toddler who likes to climb and taking her off of furniture and carrying her about especially up and down steps at home. She likes to be swung around so it’s practically using her as a kettlebell while making her giggle.

There are bodyweight exercises you can do at home where you won’t need equipment. Could fill your shopping bags with a few things and use them as weights.

theemmadilemma · 28/01/2026 09:04

I loved lifting heavy weights once I got into it.

If it's not your thing, then core conditioning with some weights would probably work well. Burpees into a shoulder press and that type of exercise in sets will push your body and get some toning going on.

Catza · 28/01/2026 08:57

If you love running, I would suggest you look at Hyrox classes near you. The strength stations will help you to get stronger and build muscle. Too much running for me, personally, and I'd rather crossfit but you will definitely enjoy it as a runner.

BraceFace92 · 28/01/2026 08:49

A bit different, but if you have a climbing gym near you bouldering and rock climbing are excellent ways to get toned. I love the mental challenge of trying to work out how I’m going to climb the route as well as the physical challenge, so never get bored.

W0tnow · 28/01/2026 08:42

I do mine at home. I follow a structured program on an app.

Brooklyn70 · 28/01/2026 08:41

you could try reformer pilates, which uses resistance bands and in my class we use weights too.

i go to a small gym where we do circuit style classes. there are 7 areas and you spend around 7 minutes at each, some have machines, some weights. you’re partnered with someone but don’t have to talk much if you don’t want to.

this could be an option if you don’t like going to the gym and being on the machines on your own.

Ginmonkeyagain · 28/01/2026 08:37

Pilates, dynamic vinyasa yoga, walking everywhere and carrying my shopping home. Also starting from a good base - I did competition level kickboxing for 10 years and boxing will tone your arms and back like nothing else!

elastamum · 28/01/2026 08:36

I am toned. I am 61. I don't use a gym but I muck out 2 horses every day. I also do all my own housework and gardening, walk the dog and do about 12000 steps. I do some physio exercises every evening. I have lost 10kg since I gave up my desk job and just got moving.