DH waking the kids!

My mantra was always "you wake them, you take them". My DH pretty soon learnt to be quiet as he knew I meant every word & did follow it through!

It's really important for fire safety that the children's doors are closed at night, and this will have the added benefit that this will cut out the normal household noise that your DH is making in the morning.

It's not reasonable to put your children at risk and to expect your DH to tiptoe round because you refuse to shut the children's bedroom doors. You need to solve your problem with your sleep and the white noise of the baby monitors for the good of the whole family. It is selfish of you to not address this.

Put a sign on the back of the loo door - close kids doors as a reminder

This is easy!

Stick signs absolutely everywhere. Laminate them. Tell him in person you're doing it so it doesn't look all harsh and accusatory. Put kisses on the end.

I remember renting rooms and we shared a bathroom. The shower was finicky and you had to run the cold tap at the end. Everyone would forget, the next person would be furious when the shower wouldn't start. I put up a sign outside and inside, the problem disappeared.

He isn't doing it on purpose. I'm not remotely sound sensitive, I could always and have slept right through loud party sounds or whatever. I was hosting a friend of mine in our thirties. She told me she was lying in bed one night gritting her teeth as I walked through the hallway into that kitchen and back again letting that door slam each time. She couldn't understand how I - usually considerate to other people - could be behaving like this.

The next day she knocked on my door and found me in a deep deep sleep while the builder was drilling as loud as an earthquake right outside my window. Then it all made sense.

He's not a light sleeper and these things don't occur to him. He's agreeing at night time but in the morning he's on autopilot and getting ready for a day at work. A sign on the bedroom door, in the hall, in the bathroom and another one the mirror. Two weeks and job done.

Also just to add... I sometimes need to.leave the house at 6am to catch a train to work. Toddler generally gets up around 7am to 7.30am so I have everything ready night before and my bag etc sat at the door. My clothes downstairs in the living room, brush teeth in downstairs loo (without the weird gagging that men seem to do despite brushing their teeth for 40 years now 🙄).

If he's not showering and he can manage to put laundry out in the morning quietly, he can manage to wet his hair downstairs quietly.

He doesn't take.notice because he's not the one dealing with the kids emotions.

Yep... my 2nd gets so upset, he holds.his breath.

He's almost 2 now and guess what... I was up from 2am til 6.30am with him last night because he couldn't sleep. Then the day had to start at 7am!

Brushing his wisdom teeth thoroughly I imagine.

This may be controversial but if the kids are waking up with the bathroom door shut, then I'd suggest that if they wake in the night and are upset it is likely you will hear them through closed doors especially if the monitor white noise keeps you awake.

100% agree (I am that poster 😂).
We did not parent our children any different until we literally had no choice.

We did the hoover, tv / radio on etc for both kids but guess what... one slept through it all and the other would wake if I even considered breathing out loud. Funnily my husband (their Dad) would sleep through a warzone but I'm awake most of the night if I heard a car drove past on the road or if one of the kids coughed etc.

I think people are missing the point here that whilst it's not an insane volume of noise, it's waking the kids early on multiple days in the week and your issue isn't having to start the day early... it's the knock on effect of the kids ultimately losing 5 or 6 hours of sleep in the week. Again with difficult sleepers it isn't as easy as putting them to bed earlier (particularly with 2 working parents).

For years I left the house at 7 am 3 days a week for early shifts. Not once did I disturb anyone else. Everything ready the night before, clothes ready in the living room, it is perfectly possible to tiptoe into the loo quietly and it is not necessary to bang doors.
DH also managed to leave quietly on the days he was starting early.
Could he be doing it deliberately?
Does he resent having to get up early?

Maybe read them again?

To solve the problem at the cause - it’s either shut the kids’ doors or bathroom quieter - and it doesn’t sound like the DH is making unnecessary noise in there ?

I have read them - you were saying that your DH is waking them at 530 when he gets up - and this is an issue? If they are not waking until 730, I have no idea what your complaint is?

Honestly, if the adult day starts at 540 then I would simply adjust your evenings to accommodate early starts and accept you/they will be up by 6am. Perhaps put them to bed an hour earlier/feed them earlier etc - then they won’t be as tired? Just because other households have kids that sleep from 7pm-7am doesn’t mean it has to be the way your house does?

it sounds like you’re married to Mr Bean, nice but dim

I think this would all be sorted by just closing the kids’ doors last thing at night. It’s much safer that way anyway. You could get a baby alarm that only makes noise if they are actually crying if you’re worried you won’t hear them.

Agree he could be more considerate but some things just don’t work out like that so worth exploring other solutions instead of having the same argument on repeat.

Blimey close the kids doors. If they wake and cry in the night because they’re distressed you’ll not both sleep through it presuming your house is a fairly standard size. You can keep your bedroom door open if you need to but ours are all fire doors which are just doors if they’re not closed.
or keep all doors closed and just turn the monitor up when he gets up for his shower?

I know this has been said but you really need to be shutting internal doors of a night to help slow down the spread of fire/smoke. Just by doing this one simple thing you are increasing the chance of you and your family escaping/surviving a fire.

I think the issue here, the thing you are resentful about, is that YOU wake, not the kids.

Are there other areas of your relationship that are niggling at you?