Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH waking the kids!

131 replies

PinkPonyClubb · 28/01/2026 06:42

He’s driving me crazy! I literally watch (baby monitors) as each noise wakes both kids. (1-3)

His alarm goes of at 5.30 both kids are flat out.

We leave both kids doors open when they sleep incase they ever wake and need us. I’ve asked him to shut these, he forgets every morning. He shuts the bathroom door and the noise always wakes the 1 year old first, it’s the latch it kind of pings so loud. He washes his hair which sounds like an avalanche, drops loads and that bloody cough drives me nuts! He can not brush his teeth without gagging.

On occasion, when it’s me up early first, the kids don’t wake.

Am I being precious? Is this just normal morning noise? I can’t see why he can’t assist the door closing quietly, close the kids doors and not drop everything

OP posts:
TSHconfusion · 28/01/2026 21:28

WonderingWanda · 28/01/2026 06:47

You should shut your kids doors at night in case of fire, this will protect them from smoke inhalation and slow the spread of the fire.

https://www.london-fire.gov.uk/safety/the-home/bedtime-checks/

Agree with this, it is so important!

Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:25

SharyBobbins · 28/01/2026 21:21

I'd argue that your teen daughter has more chance of being able to escape a fire independently than children who are the age of the OP's kids.

Show quote history

She’s never wanted her door closed
I have never forced her to do so

SharyBobbins · 28/01/2026 21:21

Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:13

My teen daughter doesn’t like to sleep with her door closed.

Not a cat’s chance in hell I’m forcing her to close her door because of the tiny risk of a house fire

Show quote history

I'd argue that your teen daughter has more chance of being able to escape a fire independently than children who are the age of the OP's kids.

Barrellturn · 28/01/2026 21:21

I have to get up at 5 And have light sleepers. I would suggest

  • close the doors. Put white noise on a timer so it turns off (dimming slowly) and you can have the monitors on
  • he showers the night before and then wets his hair, face wash in the kitchen sink and gets dressed downstairs (having got everything ready the night before)
Currentskin · 28/01/2026 21:13

SharyBobbins · 28/01/2026 20:11

It's really bothering me that you are not acknowledging the fact that doors should be shut for fire safety! Can you please just confirm you've at least took this on board?!

My teen daughter doesn’t like to sleep with her door closed.

Not a cat’s chance in hell I’m forcing her to close her door because of the tiny risk of a house fire

SharyBobbins · 28/01/2026 20:11

It's really bothering me that you are not acknowledging the fact that doors should be shut for fire safety! Can you please just confirm you've at least took this on board?!

LauraTheReader25 · 28/01/2026 18:48

1, Doors should always be shut for fire reasons

2, Why do you need the doors open when you have baby monitors?

YABU

Currentskin · 28/01/2026 18:17

Remind him tonight
Check in with us tomorrow am to see if he’s managed to remember!

Mere1 · 28/01/2026 17:59

Noteufy · 28/01/2026 06:48

Get a monitor for their rooms so you can close their doors for a start

And buy a white noise machine for each room. Doors closed to prevent the spread of fires too.

RawBloomers · 28/01/2026 17:35

Given he’s not selfish in other situations, I think it’s likely his inability to remember for more than a few days is down to him having to get up so early, rather than selfishness. Our brains don’t work as well at all hours of the day, he may be half asleep still as he gets up. So the suggestions that focus on changing the physical set up so he doesn’t need to remember when he’s on autopilot might be better. Can you sit down with him and discuss how to change things rather than just how he has to try harder?

I would be considering changing the catch on the bathroom door so it doesn’t click loudly, sign on the bathroom door (maybe just a photo of your DC from when they are tired and crying one morning…). If you have a downstairs bathroom then he could move all his stuff down there (possibly clothes too), even if just a toilet it should be possible to put a shower wand in so he could do his hair over the sink, at the very least he could move his toothbrush to the kitchen sink.

JanuaryChills · 28/01/2026 16:49

ThisIsAGlobalPlayerOriginalPodcast · 28/01/2026 08:06

My husband does the gagging/coughing while brushing his teeth as well. What is that?!

Bastardy in the first degree

BudgetBuster · 28/01/2026 16:37

Isittimeformynapyet · 28/01/2026 16:35

What does it mean to "sleep through his brother"?

Show quote history

Sleep through his toddler brother making noise during the day

Isittimeformynapyet · 28/01/2026 16:35

PinkPonyClubb · 28/01/2026 09:40

Thank you to the poster who posted about light sleepers very supportive.

My first can and will sleep anywhere and through anything. On holiday through entertainment, hoovering me cleaning cousins playing and shouting. He does wake easily early morning if he’s disturbed by loud banging as he’s in a light sleep.

My second 😂😂😂 He wakes when a door is knocked 5 miles away.

If you’ve got kids that will sleep through anything, that’s great that you’ve help assist that. It is not solely a product of you’re parenting. It’s there temperament. With my second I was driving myself insane, he would be 3 months old and awake 8+ hours every day because he couldn’t just sleep through his brother! Even after 2 months of trying. So no you’re wrong.

What does it mean to "sleep through his brother"?

Camerich · 28/01/2026 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Goditsmemargaret · 28/01/2026 16:27

Camerich · 28/01/2026 15:28

If you say so

Because upthread you said you have really explained to him many times how this is impacting you and the children negatively…. And he just reverts time and time again.

Oh you're right! You caught her out! Hahahaha she's deep in delusions about her pathetically low standards and too weak willed to do what you (with your dizzyingly high standards) can see needs to be done. If she had your self respect she would know she has to ltb immediately.

Mt563 · 28/01/2026 16:10

Have you looked at the settings for your monitor? Mine's not fancy but it let's you set it so it essentially switches off, no noise, no screen except when it hears a noise and I can set how sensitive it is.

Seems a bit harsh to complain about the bathroom latch making a noise. Surely it's better the door is shut? Otherwise the washing sounds would probably wake them.

Honestly, doesn't sound like you can be up without waking the kids so might just have to get in with it.

Emmz1510 · 28/01/2026 15:38

Urgh my OH used to be like this and it was at its worst when DD was tiny and sleeping in our room. During the time when she was waking through the night for feeds, she would have her first feed of the day around 6am and then she would go back in her cot and I’d go back to bed to try for some more sleep having been up 2/3 times during the night. When OH got up at 7:00 for work you’d think he’d be quiet so we both could sleep but noooo. Clattering around, shutting doors noisily, throat clearing, spraying deodorant everywhere for me and DD to breathe in, jeez sometimes he’d even take a phone call about his first job of the day and I’d be praying he not wake the baby! We had words about it and he did get better.

Camerich · 28/01/2026 15:28

If you say so

Because upthread you said you have really explained to him many times how this is impacting you and the children negatively…. And he just reverts time and time again.

Original poster
PinkPonyClubb · 28/01/2026 15:24

There was a previous poster who said I live with Mr Bean and I couldn’t stop laughing! This is actually him to a tee!

I genuinely can’t think of anything else he does that is selfish. Other than this he is a great dad and husband.

No one is perfect, me included but this drives me crazy! He has already text twice and rang once saying sorry to me. It’s not me I am bothered about it’s the kids! Which he knows and said he fees awful. Still doesn’t make it okay. If he doesn’t change I will absolutely loose my shit! It’s not fair on the kids!

OP posts:
Camerich · 28/01/2026 15:08

How can you be happy with someone who repeatedly, over and over again, ignores your very reasonable request for a bit of thoughtfulness at 5.30am, not just for you but HIS children too. Someone like this will be thoughtless in other ways too

Monvelo · 28/01/2026 15:02

He needs to get ready downstairs. He should leave his toothbrush and hair stuff etc in the kitchen.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 28/01/2026 14:44

Just tell him if they wake up because he is being inconsiderate then he needs to get them back to sleep before he leaves the house

cocog · 28/01/2026 14:40

He should have to deal with the child he woke. Stay in bed obviously asleep if he brings child to you say you woke him again bring him up when your leaving I’m tired.

ThisIsAGlobalPlayerOriginalPodcast · 28/01/2026 14:39

TricNorthCarolina · 28/01/2026 10:39

My mantra was always "you wake them, you take them". My DH pretty soon learnt to be quiet as he knew I meant every word & did follow it through!

Again, did he just not go to work?

Jade247 · 28/01/2026 14:33

Just close the kids doors, if they need you they can call. It’s advised all doors are closed at night incase of a fire x

Swipe left for the next trending thread