To get silently annoyed when parents chase their kids with food?

I really don't understand the racing around, i wasn't a particularly strict parent and 1 of my now adult children had eating issues, so i do understand the panic when toddlers don't eat but when does the running about with food stop ?

I witnessed a grandmother chasing her young (2?3?) grandson around a playpark with a pot of food and a fork.

If she caught up with him, she would wave a loaded fork in his face.

I watched bewildered, trying to decide if the fork being waved in his face was the biggest risk, or as and when the occasional food did go in, the risk of choking as the toddler ran off to the next bit of the park would outweigh the risk of the fork.

The grandmother was no spring chicken, think there was even a walking stick, but by heck she could move. Her step count must have been through the roof.

I was told by the Director of Children’s Mental Health in this county that the key was to get calories into my SEN two year, who never sat down long enough to eat, rather than leave her to starve. He told me to bribe her to sit down to eat a sandwich, by promising her chocolate buttons.

Unless you know the exact circumstances of a child, and whether they have SEN, you don’t understand, then don’t comment - because they may be acting on professional advice!

I used to work at a childrens centre and we banned running about with food the kids had to sit down or in a highchair, we also banned snack boxes from the playroom because parents were dropping grapes and whatnot into their kids mouth while they were running about.

If my kids get distracted and don't eat when we are out and about then they will probably get very emotional/have a tantrum and then we will have to leave early. I wouldn't do this at home but if I felt like my kids hadn't had enough to eat while out and about then I would help them to make an easier life for everyone.

I am so glad you brought this up OP! I have noticed this so much with some of the mums I know, they are obsessed with their children finishing their food and eating a particular amount. I dont really get it. If my DD is finished she’s finished I’m not going to shove food down her throat, I will occasionally ask her to eat a little more if she hasn’t touched her plate but otherwise she is a happy healthy well fed girl and will tell me she’s hungry when she is hungry! Running about after your child with a fork is madness.

I really don't want to slate parents trying to feed their toddlers but they look ridiculous being held hostage by tiny people, i get kids want to run around but chasing them with food is silly and a choking hazard imo.

Same here.

DS1 definitely needs me to do this. His growth has massively slowed down and if I let him, he would barely eat a thing.

DS2 loves food so has never needed this much help with feeding.

I don’t really care if other parents judge me for it - my child being fed and growing is more important to me than the view of someone who hasn’t got the same issue.

ETA to add that DS1 was 97th percentile as a baby, and is now 2nd. Very much on the smaller side for his age and his younger brother who is 2.5 years younger weighs the same and will probably outgrow him.

Good way to create an issue with and have them avoid a basic need. Bet they drink nothing all day at school as a result of them doing this

SIL’s all do this and every one of their dc who were normal sized toddlers are massively overweight. Normal eating habits and patterns were never learned. Stopping when full wasn’t an option

Not something I agree with but some kids will won't eat at meal times then be looking for food an hour later.
Which is easy to mange at home, bung dinner in the fridge then zap, when they decide they want it. Not so easy to mange at a party or other venue outside the house.

I had to do this with my son when he was younger. He has autism and adhd.

His consultant paediatrician was very worried about his weight as it just kept falling. She told me to get food in him, whatever kind, and whatever it took.

I imagine I looked strange following him round with a backpack stuffed with
random foods ready to pull out and offer the second I saw an opening.

Thankfully it was something he grew out of, he is a giant now, but for a few years he would literally not eat unless he was reminded to continue eating every mouthful, and even then I had to aim for little and often rather than big meals so he didn't get overwhelmed and melt down.

It was never a case of rules or routine working in this instance (even though it worked well for his behvaiour).

One of my kids drinks loads and one drinks much less. It’s weird but I assume their bodies know what they need 🤷‍♀️ I resist the temptation to badger the one who drinks less to drink more because (as I’ve said upthread about food) I imagine it’s totally counterproductive.

@runrunrun2026Yep!

My sister and brother in law do this. They get particularly concerned with water and their children have to have 5 gulps before finishing their meal which is counted down every time. It becomes a power struggle and the children run off with their parents chasing them with their water.

I agree OP. In my experience this doesn't encourage them to become a better eater - in fact the opposite.

I think this partially stems from when they are babies - so much focus by HCPs on whether they are eating ‘enough’. Any hint of being underweight as a baby is seen as a much bigger concern than being at the upper end of the scale. So we become obsessed with making sure they’re fed.

Oh and one of mine was a terrible eater and would forgo the party rather than eat up but i didn’t relent, paid off in the long run as she eats fine now

I’d be annoyed too, sit down and eat was my rule and no getting down until you are finished. Mine knew the rules

That’s what we do. Our eldest (4) has a tendency to leave most of his dinner then be hungry later. We just put it to one side and he typically eats the rest of it cold later (we’d heat it up if we wanted us to but he doesn’t).

I agree it’s odd but also suspect it’s counter productive. In my experience of watching family members, making food a massive battle doesn’t make kids eat more, it makes them eat less.

It might be that one parent is worried at getting told off by the other parent. Or other family. I did hear a parent screaming at an older woman at the exit of a soft play for not making sure LO had eaten because she'll be out of her routine and it causes me more trouble, and the older woman (maybe a grandparent? Auntie?) muttering back that she'll eat when she's hungry.

Mine would eat nothing then vomit bile later on. They didn’t feel hunger and just wanted to play. Totally different to my friend’s dc who’d pile a plate high and not stop eating. It depends what your dc is like. It wasn’t over feeding, it was getting a reasonable amount in so they weren’t ill later.

I don't know, I suppose whether it's easily reheated will depend on what it is.

But some kids have a better chance of eating it the first time round anyway.

Better to encourage them the first time, than have a battle on your hands the second time I guess?